The Official WBW 'Down Under' Joke Thread.

have a chup bro


[youtube]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZdVHZwI8pcA&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZdVHZwI8pcA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]

6 Truths of Life
1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.
3. And discover that The first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.

I apologize about this.
I'm an idiot and I needed company .....

This is a very funny one to start the day with.
This is an outrageously Australian joke!
A Northern Territory (Oz) farm hand (An Aboriginal)
radios back to the farm manager.
'Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the ute.
The pig's OK, but he's stuck in the bullbars at the front of my ute and is wriggling and squealing so much I can't get him out.'
The manager says,'Ok, there's a ..303 Rifle behind the seat.
Take it, shoot the pig in the head and you'll be able to remove him.'
Five minutes later the farm hand calls back, 'I did what you said boss.
Took the 303, shot the pig in the head and removed him from the bull-bars. No problem there, but I still can't go on'.
'Now what's the problem?' raged the Manager.
'Well boss, it's his motor-bike. The flashing blue light is stuck under the right-front wheel arch.'
'........................................................ You there Boss?

rolling,

yur sick!!!

Ty for the courtesies. I am here to please.

you're still sick,but,I appreciate that!!still rolling!

For notech ^^
Don't mess with the THE OLDER GENERATION
age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery
always overcome youth and arrogance!

FEMALE COMPASSION ...... LET IT NEVER BE UNDER-ESTIMATED .
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms
and no legs.
Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'
The man said 'No,' so, she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said 'Have you ever had a kiss?'
The man said 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The third really beautiful woman came up to him and said
'Have you ever been fucked?'
The fellow said, 'No.'
She said.... 'You will be when the tide comes in'.

Especially for notech

I apologise, but I'm a sick person..........................SS

Tasmanian couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out.
Husband says ' Oh for fuck's sake stop crying, you're still my sister'

Wife say's to husband, 'Doctor says I have the tits and ass of an 18-year-old'
Husband says 'What about your 40-year-old cunt?'
Wife says ' No we didn't mention you'

My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.
She said she wanted to come back as a pig.
I said, 'You're not fucking listening!'

Was depressed last night, rang Lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan , told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later. I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the aisle backwards, gets in the car and fucks off.

Today an Aboriginal was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice.
Redfern police said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.

A car bomb was found outside Lakemba Mosque today. Police have urged the public not to
panic as they have managed to push it inside the Mosque.

A female Al-Quaeda terrorist was found dead today in her bathroom. Police believe she got her
anthrax mixed up with her tampax and blew up the wrong cunt.

Woman goes into a shoe shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos. She asks what are they made of. The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair.
The woman said she could not afford that. The assistant said says 'Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99.

Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'.
She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me you fucker'. He replied casually,
'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, 'Fuck off it'll be too painful',

Now who's laughing'

Signs:
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: 'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
In a Podiatrist's Office: Time Wounds All Heels.
On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals~~on Wheels!
At a Proctologist's Door: To expedite your visit, please back in.
On a Plumber's Truck: We Repair What Your Husband Fixed!
At a Tyre Shop in Sydney: Invite us to your next blowout.
At an Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

at a tow shop here, we meet by accident




hello, ya old fart!!! tnx

I came here for the gals, stay for the humor!!

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.

She says hello.

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, 'Do you know me?'


To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,

'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly,

'No, I'm your son's teacher.'

Auckland Factory Fire



Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is rudely awoken by the telephone at 4 am.


'Hillen, its the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency!

I've just received word thet the Durex fectory en Auckland has burned to the ground.
It is istimated the the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the
week.!!!'

PM: 'Shut - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - wi'll be ruined!'

Hilth Munister: 'We're going to hef to shup some in from Brutain?...'

PM: 'No chence!! The Poms will have a field day on thus one!'

Hilth Munister: 'What about Australia ?'

PM: 'I'll call Kevin Rudd - tell hum we need one million condoms; ten
unches long and eight unches thuck! That way they'll continue to respect
the All Blacks!!'

Three days later a delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds condoms;
10 unches long; 8 unches thuck, all coloured green and gold. With small writing on each one.........


'MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE: MEDIUM'


Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie .... Oy Oy Oy

^^ Now that I like. Ty for ur contribution.

For our NZ Neighbours:
Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep!

Fire Victims:
Did you hear about the fire in the tenement building in Redfern
An aboriginal family of six lived on the first floor. They all perished in the fire.
A Lebanese family of eight lived on the second floor. They also perished.
A white couple lived on the third floor. They survived.
Anthony (Mundane) Mundine, wanting to cut someone's nuts off for the disaster,
demanded to know why the whites survived when the others didn't.
The fire chief said the answer was simple...
The white couple were at work when the fire broke out.

Good stuff. Please keep it up.

np, NG, and ty for ur comments.

"Like knows like best"


btw, got a new LolDog thread. You might like to check it out. Links are in my sig. Signing off for the night. Keep up the lulz.

Obviously they don't recycle …..
The Crackatinni tribe
Experts thought the infamous Crackatinni tribe had been wiped out years ago...until researchers stumbled upon a
small cluster of tribe members in the middle of the harsh Australian outback.
The researchers were forced to approach quietly, lest they scare the inhabitants away before getting a chance to
photograph them in their natural state...