Your worst sexual mistake ever?

I had a girlfriend who was NOT a fan of me cumming in her mouth, so there we were, her giving me head and she's not really paying attention, and i'm trying to let her know i'm about to blow... well at the last minute she pulls out and the first shot blasts right up her nostril... had to do a snot rocket to get it out...

my ex tried to be cleaver once and tried to deep throat, it didnt work and she was sick over me................nice..............

aditting you made a mistake on WBW

umm... switched it up.

lefty, and then overhand.

meh.

Ok here is one that happened to me...

I was out at a club and some how i pulled an Ex-girlfriend from a couple of years before.
She came home with me but man I was really really drunk!!!
Anyway we are there laying on the bed, I was almost asleep when she jumped me and started rideing my cock.
I thought ok... im drunk i feel sick but maybe i can do this...

Alas it was not so... i could not keep my cock hard... not because of the drink though, it was because I did not really like her in that way.
she was really gorgeous but... i dunno i just could not fall in love with her.

Anyway gettin a bit of track there.
So she is rideing me and my cock starts going down... she says "whats wrong?" I lie and say "must be because im so drunk"
so we stop shaggin and i sit up near the window next to my bed, but she was still really horny so she stood up and said "lick my pussy"....

Well this is the bad bit... she stood up, placed her pussy over my face...
and let rip the biggest pussy fart i ever heard!!!!

Well i was drunk! so it Scared me! I moved my head back really fast and smashed it into the window ledge!
It knocked me out for a few seconds! when i came around she was crying and i felt really dizzy and sick now when sudenly all i could smell was... pussy!!!
I was sick right there and then, in the middle of the bed and kinda on her arse a bit.

Believe it or not we are still friends lol and we still flurt around a bit.

that night was such a head fuk for me that when i think back its like remembering an acid trip! lol

Ya got to laugh at these kind of things or they would haunt you for ever!!!

I was so drunk one Fourth of July,while throwing the bone to my wife, I told her i would like to fuck while eating out my girlfriend, My wife or should I say ex wife didn't know about her Talk about fireworks JUST REMEMBER, what do marriage and tornados have in common, in the beginning it's all sucking and blowing,when it's over ,your house is gone!!!!!!!! HAPPENED TO ME

Quote:

Originally posted by hoppy1968

I was so drunk one Fourth of July,while throwing the bone to my wife, I told her i would like to fuck while eating out my girlfriend, My wife or should I say ex wife didn't know about her Talk about fireworks JUST REMEMBER, what do marriage and tornados have in common, in the beginning it's all sucking and blowing,when it's over ,your house is gone!!!!!!!! HAPPENED TO ME

ouch

Quote:

Originally posted by biffta

Ok here is one that happened to me...

I was out at a club and some how i pulled an Ex-girlfriend from a couple of years before.
She came home with me but man I was really really drunk!!!
Anyway we are there laying on the bed, I was almost asleep when she jumped me and started rideing my cock.
I thought ok... im drunk i feel sick but maybe i can do this...

Alas it was not so... i could not keep my cock hard... not because of the drink though, it was because I did not really like her in that way.
she was really gorgeous but... i dunno i just could not fall in love with her.

Anyway gettin a bit of track there.
So she is rideing me and my cock starts going down... she says "whats wrong?" I lie and say "must be because im so drunk"
so we stop shaggin and i sit up near the window next to my bed, but she was still really horny so she stood up and said "lick my pussy"....

Well this is the bad bit... she stood up, placed her pussy over my face...
and let rip the biggest pussy fart i ever heard!!!!

Well i was drunk! so it Scared me! I moved my head back really fast and smashed it into the window ledge!
It knocked me out for a few seconds! when i came around she was crying and i felt really dizzy and sick now when sudenly all i could smell was... pussy!!!
I was sick right there and then, in the middle of the bed and kinda on her arse a bit.

Believe it or not we are still friends lol and we still flurt around a bit.

that night was such a head fuk for me that when i think back its like remembering an acid trip! lol

Ya got to laugh at these kind of things or they would haunt you for ever!!!

that's great!

Quote:

Originally posted by hoppy1968

I was so drunk one Fourth of July,while throwing the bone to my wife, I told her i would like to fuck while eating out my girlfriend, My wife or should I say ex wife didn't know about her Talk about fireworks JUST REMEMBER, what do marriage and tornados have in common, in the beginning it's all sucking and blowing,when it's over ,your house is gone!!!!!!!! HAPPENED TO ME

someone want to convert this to english for me?

I was laying on the bed while this girl I had just met was giving me a blow job. I felt some gas coming on and I really tried hard to hold it in. But, as she started sucking on my balls it felt so good that I just ended up dropping this huge fart right in her face and she just kept on going like nothing happened.

maybe it turned her on even more.

I was going down on one of my girlfriends a long time ago, she was laying on the bed legs apart and i was kneeling on the bed with my ass in the air licking her..

Well when your in that position with your ass in the air and your naked of course, it kinda changes the sound of farts.
I let rip a massive long loud squeezy Splutering kinda fart, it even felt like bits came out lol
it was unreal, i can hear it like it was yesterday lol

Anyway as luck would have it my girlfriend at that time was a bit of a TomBoy so she just Laughed... Alot lol

not to fuck that girl i went to school with and who wanted me bad... damn!

asked "where do i put this thing"

I was on a third date with a girl in college when things got really physical. We were very fast in tearing off eachother's clothes and out of Impulse I thought I should have her clit in my mouth within the next five seconds. I fly down there, and it is the worst ever. Usually, I love the smell, but this was HORRIFYING. Like she wiped forward. It was absolutely intolerable and unbreathable air, and this from a guy who can stay down there for over an hour. Not wanting to offend her, I held my breathe and just went fast and furious, hoping she'd cum quickly. When she didn't, and I was almost blue from the combo no air / stank, I drew in a huge gulp of air.

BIG MISTAKE!!!

As soon as I did, involuntary gag reflexes started to cause my entire body to convulse on top of her. That coupled with the terrible sound of gagging / dry heaving took what was just one minute prior a highly energized sexual encounter to both of us wishing we were elsewhere. I made up a lame excuse about choking on a hair, and said that I had to go to the bathroom to clear it out. Then, out of anger for her lack of hygiene, I planted a big one on her lips, hoping her tainted juices would give her a clue as to what I was going through. I went in the bathroom and washed my face. Then I came out of the bathroom and, instead of turning right to go back down the hallway to her room (where she probably lay waiting nude) I turned left, swiped my keys off the table, and bolted. Never talked to her again, except through a pretty painful email exchange by the end of which she had deduces I was satan. My reply? Subject line only: "wash your pussy."

My wife (girlfriend at the time) drove to a beach and proceeded to get busy in the back of her Mitsubishi Eclipse. If you've ever seen an Eclipse you can imagine how much contorting had to happen to make it possible. Anyway, a few minutes into it we see someone with a flashlight outside the car a few feet away. Sure enough a cop used the flashlight to tap on the window. My wife reached up to open the door and the automatic seatbelt swung forward - with her thong attached to it!! As if that wasn't bad enough they dropped and missed the cops foot by inches. The cop asked to see our drivers licenses to show that we were of age and concenting. The funniest quote of that night was from my wife before the cop had a chance to say anything - "I guess we have to leave huh?"

Quote:

Originally posted by Bangledesh

umm... switched it up.

lefty, and then overhand.

meh.

Translation, anyone?

We went out partying one night with another couple and the next weekend he tells me this story....
they were both drunk when we dropped them off at their house. He said he had her doggie style fucking her in the arse when they got out of sync and his dick pops out and she farts real big and he thinks he hears something hit the wall.....well he is drunk so he doesnt think anything about it and eventually forgets about it....its like two days later and hes getting into bed and he remembers something hitting the wall. So he starts looking around and sees this little brown smear on the wall and starts looking on the floor and finds a dried up lima bean with shit all over it. When he was telling this I fuckin lost it. LMFAO its been nearly 20 years and I still remember that story like it was yesterday.

Quote:

Originally posted by Duderino

@ Kramchuck: if i would see a room complety covered in plastic, i would turn an run. because it would remind of these mafia movies, where they lure the victim in such a room and cut it into pieces.

my story: i was going with this girl for nearly a year, when we decided to try something new. so i handcuffed her to the bed. while shaging her i started fingering her ass, but she didnt like it and kept complaining. It made me so horny i decided to fuck her in the ass, she was kicking and screaming. after i had finished, i untied her and she left without saying anything. i didnt feel even bad. The strange thing is she called a few days later and told me she liked it.

dosnt matter how many times i read this...i still dont see how you would joke about it if it is a joke. If not...you need some serious help.

Quote:

Originally posted by Bangledesh

umm... switched it up.

lefty, and then overhand.

meh.

settled for a bj when i could've had it all