What was your WORST sexual experience??

Quote:

Originally posted by Gerber_Baby

My bad experiences have been my WHOLE sex life! I lost my virginity when I was 13. It lasted abut 5 minutes. I waited a few years... was at a party at his house one night. I spent the night there. We "fucked" er... he did. It was so boring that I fell asleep! Now you KNOW the guy sucks when you fall asleep. He had NO rythm. He worked at the SAME speed in the SAME position the WHOLE time. And I'd even tell him to do it other ways... I'd get in position and what do I hear "No, turn over on your back" JESUS CHRIST!

The second guy I did had this really nice cock... nice & thick. Again, it lasted 5 minutes. When he came he made this high pitched squealing noise that totally turned me off. AFter that he was done. We were going to sleep and he goes "did you cum hard". I said, "WTF? I didn't cum at all are you stupid?"

All I can say is that I'm the best I ever had

That is crazy

youre patheric. i hope your joking.

Quote:

Originally posted by Sperman2

I was once, not too long ago, fucking a girl I know from the street. You know, that girls that don't take baths for months. She would fuck with me if I give her a Big Mac or anything, sometimes I give her just a dollar.

We were fucking near her house on the street, it was very late and not a lot of people passes by, so we decided to fuck on the sidewalk and I felt very excited because it was my first time in a public place.

When I waw about to come I opened my eyes and saw people around us, maybe more that 5 I don't remember well, but I felt very bad. I wasn't sure if I had to stop or keep on fucking her. Looking at my face a woman said, "don't worry keep fucking" and we did it, but it wasn't nice. Fortunately my girl was doped so she couldn't remember a thing.

got pics?

back in high school I was banging my gf at the time in the shower at her house while her mom was at work and I had just turned her around to bang her from the back. She needed something to hold onto for balance and luckily there was a soap rack hooked to the wall. Needless to say as she came she clenched her hands tightly ripping the rack off the shower wall and sent both of us falling out the shower.

-JR

As my Uncle used to say, thw worst piece of ass I ever had was good

Age 16, made out with a girl at a friend's house, she pulled her pants down, I pulled mine down, entered her wetness and went off within 20 seconds. It was 1991 where black jeans were cool and I had dried jizz all over my pants. Tried to wash them off with water in the bathroom and all that did was spread it around. Didn't have any extra pairs of pants with me either, so that meant I had to get past the guys hanging out there too. My friends saw it all over my pants and all I could say was, "Yeah, ok, funny, haha, alright now".

Since then, even to this day at age 30, I still have an extra pair of jeans in the car trunk. Just became habit I guess.

Man, once that jizz gets on pants - forget getting it out. Any attempt to wash it off just rubs it in and widens the spots.

Got made fun of by the guys, never lived it down, got around school, girlfriend found out, I denied it and so did the chick, so I guess...there's times where it's good to be a lousy lay. If I did a good job, she probably would have said, "No! We did do it!" in some revenge thing because she knew I wasn't going to dump her for my then-girlfriend. You know how women are at that age...if they got something on you and you don't do what they want, you're FUUUUUCKKED! Had the name "Jizz Pants" for months. I just said, "Well, at least I got some, you virgins!" It was the only thing I could come back with. Didn't make a dent.

Ok, boring story.

This story beats the HELL out of any thing you could ever imagine. its a long read, i know, but its the funniest thing i have ever read in my life.

Quote:

Originally posted by screwy.one

My worst sexual experience? Marriage.

if your still married we have a problem? It seems to be the same person?

Quote:

Originally posted by Gerber_Baby

My bad experiences have been my WHOLE sex life! I lost my virginity when I was 13. It lasted abut 5 minutes. I waited a few years... was at a party at his house one night. I spent the night there. We "fucked" er... he did. It was so boring that I fell asleep! Now you KNOW the guy sucks when you fall asleep. He had NO rythm. He worked at the SAME speed in the SAME position the WHOLE time. And I'd even tell him to do it other ways... I'd get in position and what do I hear "No, turn over on your back" JESUS CHRIST!

The second guy I did had this really nice cock... nice & thick. Again, it lasted 5 minutes. When he came he made this high pitched squealing noise that totally turned me off. AFter that he was done. We were going to sleep and he goes "did you cum hard". I said, "WTF? I didn't cum at all are you stupid?"

All I can say is that I'm the best I ever had

thats some funny shit! ....love it..

Gerber baby must have a real tight dick milker. There's some pussies you can pound for hours and she comes over and over and there's some that are just all-out ball-drainers that couldn't come if they had a vibrator hooked up to a car battery along with a mosterous dildo.

This is a funny thread.

Quote:

Originally posted by petsounds75

Gerber baby must have a real tight dick milker. There's some pussies you can pound for hours and she comes over and over and there's some that are just all-out ball-drainers that couldn't come if they had a vibrator hooked up to a car battery along with a mosterous dildo.

that is the single most disgusting/disrespectful statement i have ever read on this site said about another member

all I have to say is bloody mess

Quote:

Originally posted by EricTheViking

[reply=petsounds75]
Gerber baby must have a real tight dick milker. There's some pussies you can pound for hours and she comes over and over and there's some that are just all-out ball-drainers that couldn't come if they had a vibrator hooked up to a car battery along with a mosterous dildo.

that is the single most disgusting/disrespectful statement i have ever read on this site said about another member
[/reply]

I found it funny...

Quote:

Originally posted by Jeff0615

all I have to say is bloody mess

Hmm...


Jeff615 is almost the same as Jeff613...

Quote:

Originally posted by Suckrates

[reply=EricTheViking]
[reply=petsounds75]
Gerber baby must have a real tight dick milker. There's some pussies you can pound for hours and she comes over and over and there's some that are just all-out ball-drainers that couldn't come if they had a vibrator hooked up to a car battery along with a mosterous dildo.

that is the single most disgusting/disrespectful statement i have ever read on this site said about another member
[/reply]

I found it funny...
[/reply]



if we were sitting in a room, and there were a bunch of guys, and some girls (most of whom are a bit afraid of the guys) and some guy said that exact statement about one of the girls sitting there (TO one of the girls sitting there), would you think it was funny, or out of line? im not a sissy crybaby...but i think it sounded offensive....

Quote:

Originally posted by petsounds75

Gerber baby must have a real tight dick milker. There's some pussies you can pound for hours and she comes over and over and there's some that are just all-out ball-drainers that couldn't come if they had a vibrator hooked up to a car battery along with a mosterous dildo.

That must mean you're another 5 minute guy

And I think it was very offensive

Quote:

Originally posted by Gerber_Baby

And I think it was very offensive

WØRD

Quote:

Originally posted by Gerber_Baby

[reply=petsounds75]
Gerber baby must have a real tight dick milker. There's some pussies you can pound for hours and she comes over and over and there's some that are just all-out ball-drainers that couldn't come if they had a vibrator hooked up to a car battery along with a mosterous dildo.

That must mean you're another 5 minute guy
[/reply]



great come back!