ten tiny true stories about my life

1.when i was very young like 4 or 5 i was very afraid of monkeys
2.i had a bicycle for 2 years before i learned to ride it. my parents tried to teach me but i just couldnt get the hang of it.then one morning i just got on it and started riding.i had no explanation for this and i still dont.i think it kind of pissed my dad off.
3.i have flown on an airplane twice once when i was 8 (i threw up)and another time when i was 27(i got drunk on the plane and threw up).i dont fly now
4.the first girl i ever kissed later in life became a lesbian.
5.i met my current girlfreind at a model railroaders convention.she was there with her brother.
6. once i found some chocolate ex-lax at my grandmas house i couldnt read at the time and i ate the whole thing
7.i was 12 years old when my parents divorced they never seemed to have anything in common about 2 years ago me and my dad were drinking beer and watching a baseball game i asked him how him and my mom met he said she wouldnt stop calling him
8.the first time i ever got drunk i was 15 i drank 4 beers and fell off my bicycle.
9.my best freind in elementary school was bobby ritzenheimer.i used to call him the ritz cracker he always laughed when i
did that
10.when i was in high school.there was this student teacher in my art class.i was drawing this picture.she came up to me and put her hand on my shoulder and said she really liked my drawings.i had the biggest crush on her.later on after i had graduated high school i was at this party and low and behold she was there.well we had some drinks together.and i told her that i had the biggest damn crush on her in high school.she laughed and tossed her pretty red hair over her shoulder and said she knew.later on that night we made out in the back of my monte carlo ss.



so thats it if anyone wants to tell ten tiny true stories about there life feel free

love poop

1. I was the 130th person to climb Mount Everest.
2. In 2004 I won the Olympic gold medal in boxing.
3. I was voted sexiest man alive, twice..once in 2004 and once again in 2007.
4. I once killed a bear, with nothing but a shoelace and picture of Rosie O'Donnell.
5. I hold the highest land speed record, which I accomplished in a 1986 Honda CRX.
6. I see in binary code.
7. I lost my virginity to Sarah Michelle Gellar.
8. I won "Mortal Kombat"...the event, not the game.
9. The character "John McClane" is based on me, despite several lawsuits..they have yet to stop using my trademarked catch phrase "yippie kai ey motherfucker"
10. I beat Halo 3 on Legendary in 11 minutes.

Which is fact, which is fiction?!?!!?

..It's all fiction.

I just depressed myself.

Neat thread though, this was just a quick bump..I'll try to add a real one later.

1. I once slid down a mountain and was "saved" by my best friend just a couple of feet away from a sheer drop
2. I've been chased through he streets of Palma Majorca by a mad Spaniard with a Smith and Wesson handgun.
3. I used to be allergic to Eggs..but no longer
4. I was seduced by my best mate's mum's friend, I only wanted a lift home from the pub but she took me back to her house and took advantage of me
5. I passed my driving test on the 4th attempt..I was 20!
6. Every time i tried to smoke when I was younger I threw up
7. I once had sex with an Ulrika Johnsson lookalike
8. my friend at school died when we were 16 from Meningitis, I had to take special antibiotics and cried orange tears and pissed the colour of Orange tango at his funeral.
9. I know 3 murderers. Actually two of them have since died.
10. I used to fight all the time, at least once a week. I haven't had a fight for about 13 years.

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

4. I once killed a bear, with nothing but a shoelace and picture of Rosie O'Donnell.

What was the shoelace for?

Quote:

Originally posted by BillK

Quote:
Originally posted by Honda_X


4. I once killed a bear, with nothing but a shoelace and picture of Rosie O'Donnell.



What was the shoelace for?

roflmao haha

1. i was born without my mothers water breaking
2. i was smoking weed before i ever touched a sigarette
3. i hugged nelly furtado in 2001,
4. my first 'shag' lasted for over 8 hours in a room full of sleeping bandmembers and groupies after one of our gigs (way back in 94)
5. i once nearly blew my hand of with a homemade explosive device ( i got scars on middle pointer and thumb)
6. i smoked doobies with type o negative singer peter steele, and went on stage to watch their show
7. i used to have a big crush on tiffany ( yeah the one from " i think we're alone now " )
8. i got into a fight at school with a bigger dude than myself and then i fight dirty.... so i ruptured his eardrum, it
made him cry like a sissy..
9. one of my ex gf's scared the shit out of me, she came home and had my name in my handwriting tattooed on her ankle
10. when i'm drunk i sometimes do a Hitler imitation... including his christmas speech 1941

Quote:

Originally posted by creepus

1. i was born without my mothers water breaking

Eh? how does this work?

Quote:

Originally posted by creepus

10. when i'm drunk i sometimes do a Hitler imitation... including his christmas speech 1941

Freak , how do you even know his Christmas speech from 1941??

Quote:

Originally posted by creepus

back in 94

(I used to say "back in 94'" a lot as a joke..in case anyone was wondering why I found that so hilarious)

Quote:

Originally posted by TickLes

...

Eh? how does this work?

... Freak , how do you even know his Christmas speech from 1941??

um the labour sets in without the water breaking and they break it for ya so you wont drown,

i used to be quite the history buff and that speech in retrospect is somewhat funny because he kind of sells the hide before shooting the bear,and it is actually one of the best known speeches of hitler,

Quote:

So if Mr. Stalin expected that we would attack in the center, I did not want to attack in the center, not only because Mr. Stalin probably believed I would, but because I didn't care about it any more at all. But I wanted to come to the Volga, to a definite place, to a definite city. It accidentally bears the name of Stalin himself, but do not think that I went after it on that account.

Indeed, it could have an altogether different name. But only because it is an important point, that is, there 30 million tons of traffic can be cut off, including about 9 million of oil shipments. There all the wheat pours in from those enormous territories of the Ukraine, of the Kuban territory, then to be transported to the North. There the manganese ore was forwarded. A gigantic terminal was there; I wanted to take it. And do you know, we're modest: that is, we have it; there are only a couple of very small places left there.

Now the others say: Why aren't you fighting there? Because I don't want to make a second Verdun but would rather do it with very small shock units. Time plays no part here. No ships come up the Volga any more-that is the decisive thing.

ok what part of TRUE didnt you blokes get


although your responses were very

1. been bitten by a snake and a redback spider, all on the same day
2. when i was younger, i ate cactus and had to get my stomach pumped (i was trying to cut it down with a hammer, when a chunk flew into my mouth)
3. i dont like gays
4. i enjoy watching cartoons with my son, even the wiggles
5. i met megan gale a while ago in a mall signing
6. i went to a 'Boys 2 men' concert when i was younger
7. i prefer my right hand over my left
8. ive 'spitroasted' a girl with my brother for my 21st birthday, same girl then sucked me off in the toilet...to which i slapped her in the face with my cock cause she wouldnt swallow
9. i have never paid for software, ever
10. ive ran someone over for hitting my car, left him in the hospital with broken arms and legs and got off with no charges on self defence.

1. At 7 I discovered small fire-power in the original super mario bros and have not met anyone else yet who has even heard about the trick.
2. I'm opening my own restaurant in one month.
3. I was a refugee to the United States at 5 years old.
4. I've once ate a whole block of government cheese by my self.
5. I have broken my arm, leg, every finger in my left hand dislocated and tore ligaments in my ankle.
6. I dated my high school sweet-heart for 9 years.
7. At 17 I took part in an orgy.
8. At 4 I almost died by eating a whole bottle of prescription sleeping pills.
9. I had a fear of dogs until 20.
10. I placed 4 in a nation-wide CAD competition.

Quote:

Originally posted by Hallal_Pizza

10. I placed 4 in a nation-wide CAD competition.

really? i had no idea there existed such a competition.

what did you do that gave you 4th place?

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr.Poop

ok what part of TRUE didnt you blokes get


although your responses were very

Mine were all true

poops its all true you could ask dizx.

@tino: what the *** spitroasted?

1. Spent 230 000 kr (about 35 000 dollars US) on various fastfood joints last year.
2. Went to a Madonna concert when i was 2.
3. Scored a hole-in-one on my 4th round of golf ever.
4. Im scared to death by sharks.
5. I own 6 cellphones.
6. I've never been to africa.
7. I saw my best friend get shot to death over a cigarette.
8. I dumped my first girlfriend cause she started smoking.
9. Never smoked a cigarette.
10. Bought a laptop 2 years ago and still have'nt opened the box.

1. at 18 someone beat the shit out of me - I spent 1 month in hospital (i still don't know who did it...)
2. i've got my own Pub in Warsaw
3. i love animals - i have 4 dogs and 2 parrots
4. i'm really scared of cats
5. i alwas dreamed of fucking a latin girl
6. i had a car accident one day after i got my driving license
7. at 16 i catched my younger cousin when he was watching a porn movie and masturbating - he had to give me his pocket money for two months
8. when i was 16 i dumped i girl couse i thought she was too ugly - two years later she went to Italy and became a model (yeah i know I was an asshole)
9. back in highschool i had a big crush on my chemistry teacher - but she merried one of my closest friends
10. when i was 20 my girlfriend died in an car accident (we were two years togheter)

Quote:

Originally posted by creepus

poops its all true you could ask dizx.

@tino: what the *** spitroasted?

Quote:

Originally posted by Suomilainen

1. Spent 230 000 kr (about 35 000 dollars US) on various fastfood joints last year.

You should have saved it...you could have got a better car than that cheapass Gallardo..


Like my supafly Murcielago..

Also, if that's true..aren't you a raging fatass?

1. I have three grandchildren. And I can still get a boner when I need one.

2. Seeing Queen from the front row was the musical experience of a lifetime.

3. I've met Traffic (the band), Shirley Jones, Marisa Tomei, Wolfman Jack, and Jerome Bettis.

4. I once woke up in my car, with one foot on the car floor, and the other foot on the ground. And I couldn't remember which was the lead foot.

5. Called off work once, and the guy that took my place for the day was killed on the job.

6. The first time I smoked marijuana, it only cost $20 per ounce.

7. I worked as a ski technician for two winters. I've never skied.

8. I've lived in the mountains, a major city, and several small towns. In three different states.

9. I've downloaded a little over 24,000 songs in five years. They take up most of a 320 gig external hard drive.

10. I once broke three toes in my left foot when my high school g/f was chasing me up the steps. A girl I still keep in touch with to this day.