She's pregnant

Quote:

Originally posted by thelion

Finally make sure you get some proper legal advice the money it costs will be well worth it if you do not you may well suffer consequences of a significant short fall in your standard of living at the expense of some other person getting to live off your wages other than the child.

Remember that a couple of thousand borrowed now may save you a couple of hundred thousand over the next 18 years. And if it is yours, peace of mind is worth it. Once your name is on the birth certificate, it is impossible to get off.

You play you pay.

The Pill is NOT 100% effective. Ever read the Packet Insert?

Step up to the plate and take responsibility.

Get DNA testing ...$$$$$

Student loans can be deferred quite easily when out of school.

The child did NOT choose to be brought into this world.

Why take the child's life away.....for greed, money, convenience?

Quote:

Originally posted by trailboss49

1. Do a DNA test on the fetus.
2. If it's yours own up to it and be a man. All I hear is you sniveling like a little boy trying to get out of being blamed for breaking the cookie jar.

I agree! I am pro choice, but not just as an oops fix. If it is yours, step up and be a man.

Just to clear up any confusion it is not my ex-girlfriend that I am talking about. It is some girl that I knew in high school. We went on 2 dates, that's it. Not that it matters very much.

Yeah, I realize that I have to take responsibility. I know I can't make her have an abortion. I would feel like shit if I knew that I forced her into that decision. I would love if she chose adoption or found someone to marry. I just can't help her raise it properly and I don't think she can, either.

I think it's too early in the pregnancy to get a DNA test.

Thanks for the comments, even the ones telling me how much of an asshole I am.

Quote:

Originally posted by KALISURFDUDE

Here is what I would do.
Let me know what you think

. I think going to jail and getting anally raped would suck.

DNA test # 1 priority.
Shes' an alcholic? Can she be a decent parent with two kids much less one? At this time in your life you can't be, financially at least and to a point not much otherwise with your school needing attention also.
Adoption would be excellent if she will sign the papers to agree to it,big "if"! Otherwise you will be paying for the kid until it is 18-19 and most of the time she doesn't have to let you have much time with the kid or she Can be a beeatch and make it very unhandy and expensive for you see the kid and or have time with it providing you don't marry her. Then the fun and games of wondering if your funds are actually going to the health and well being of the child!
I myself, am all for abortion but not as a birthcontrol measure. There are how many people on this earth with no homes or parents,jobs,life,just leaching off society or other under the law ways to survive and there seems to be a never ending supply of them coming around year after year.Many have no choice what life has dealt them,many do have a choice and don't want to change it. It's a deep chasm of never ending conflict to try to agree with what I have said and there will most likely never be a solution to the prob either. Maybe global sterilzation for couple years or so would ease the pain on the nature resources and the ever dreaded ozone. Mind you I am not a bunny hugger nor do I want to send all my checks to save the whale,but there are honestly too dammed many people on this planet and I feel sorry for someone to have to,or want to bring a child up in the wonderful,calm,honest world we have today!
This wasn't entrapment was it per chance? Also I hear Canada is nice this time of the year!
Sorry if I upset any viewers with my two cents worth but that why they call it free speech and every reply is due a reply!
By the way,I got fixed in the eighties as I didn't want to be in this guys shoes and why would the world want another me anyway?

You have no choice in the matter. You have no rights in the eyes of the law. If she has the baby you will be paying child support for the next 21 years. She can have an abortion if she wants you cant stop her from having one and you cant make her have one. You just have to live with the decision she makes and it will cost you big bucks. 20% of your gross income until the kid turns 21.

Quote:

Originally posted by lsdforme_333

I just can't help her raise it properly and I don't think she can, either.

I'm certainly not trying to accuse you of being an a-hole but stop saying "I can't". That's a lame cop out that isn't going to win sympathy. You can't shoot someone and say I can't go to jail. It doesn't work that way. You did the "crime" and you need to figure out the best way to care for that baby. Her marrying someone else doesn't stop the baby from being yours (financial or otherwise)!

Do what's right and do everything to give the baby whatever it needs. Don't be a deadbeat dad! You won't be able to look at yourself in the mirror.

No, the girl that's pregnant is not an alcoholic. Sorry for the confusion, I probably shouldn't have mentioned it. I just brought up my recent breakup to point to my state of mind at the time. I don't believe in abortion as a method of birth control, that's sick.

whizker, I agree with what you said about the state of society. Kids in unhappy or broken homes have a greater chance of developing drug problems and criminal tendencies.

I have an awesome child support story. My daughter was born in 1979.There was no doubt she was mine. So, the support payments started right away. But I worked under the table for most of the 80's, and paid none. So, I owed a great deal of back support. Payable regardless of my child's age. I was paying support until she was 26. Now here's where it gets good. My daughter's mother and I got back together 2 years ago,and she moved in with me. The support case was in Pennsylvania, I live in Ohio, and worked in West Virginia. So, by payroll deduction, the support was being taken in West Virginia, sent to Pennsylvania, and then back to my home in Ohio, where it started in the first place. A three state circle jerk!! And the morons never realized they were sending the money to my home anyway!!

Quote:

Originally posted by rainbowdemon

There was no doubt she was mine... But I worked under the table for most of the 80's, and paid none. So, I owed a great deal of back support.

I've always enjoyed your comments in the past, but not paying IS lame! Your kid is the one who suffers.

Quote:

Originally posted by jbecause

[reply=lsdforme_333]
I just can't help her raise it properly and I don't think she can, either.

I'm certainly not trying to accuse you of being an a-hole but stop saying "I can't". That's a lame cop out that isn't going to win sympathy. You can't shoot someone and say I can't go to jail. It doesn't work that way. You did the "crime" and you need to figure out the best way to care for that baby. Her marrying someone else doesn't stop the baby from being yours (financial or otherwise)!

Do what's right and do everything to give the baby whatever it needs. Don't be a deadbeat dad! You won't be able to look at yourself in the mirror.
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I don't plan on skipping out on child support payments but 20% of 0 is 0. I don't have a job that pays and if I did I could only work ~12hr/week. When I'm in grad school I will only be getting ~12k/yr. I don't think $2400/yr is going to be enough help.

be a man... get a job... support that child... don't matter if you don't loves that girl...

Quote:

Originally posted by jbecause

[reply=lsdforme_333]
I just can't help her raise it properly and I don't think she can, either.

I'm certainly not trying to accuse you of being an a-hole but stop saying "I can't". That's a lame cop out that isn't going to win sympathy. You can't shoot someone and say I can't go to jail. It doesn't work that way. You did the "crime" and you need to figure out the best way to care for that baby. Her marrying someone else doesn't stop the baby from being yours (financial or otherwise)!

Do what's right and do everything to give the baby whatever it needs. Don't be a deadbeat dad! You won't be able to look at yourself in the mirror.
[/reply]

I don't plan on skipping out on child support payments but 20% of 0 is 0. I don't have a job that pays and if I did I could only work ~12hr/week. When I'm in grad school I will only be getting ~12k/yr. I don't think $2400/yr is going to be enough help.

Quote:

Originally posted by jbecause

[reply=rainbowdemon]
There was no doubt she was mine... But I worked under the table for most of the 80's, and paid none. So, I owed a great deal of back support.

I've always enjoyed your comments in the past, but not paying IS lame! Your kid is the one who suffers.
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Granted, it is. But the way it played out in the end was kind of funny!!

Personal experience speaking, if she refuses to put your name on the birth certificate, she will then have to prove its your child to collect anything from you, let her go on her way until that happens.
Unless you are seriously concerned about this child and its well being and health, if so step up and take a stand if shes claiming its yours then get her checked into alcohol treatment and get her ass to the doctor for prenatal care.
Being a parent isn't easy but it doesn't mean you have to give up your life for it and its only rewarding if you give it your all and do your best and make the best of your child the pride you feel will out do anything anyone can and will say...

dude, do you think she lied about being on the pill?


i have a good friend who never really had enough money. she got married cple of yrs ago to a great guy and she got pregnant sometime later. i had my reservations cus, well, cus a kid is a responsibilty not to be taken lightly. anyhoo, currently he's going to school to become a pastor and works fulltime. she works nights and is looking to getting a better paying job. they are both happy even though they are just getting by right now.

just a story...

I SAY IF THE BABY TURNS OUT TO BE YOURS GROW UP AND BE A MAN.....PEOPLE ARE SAYING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY....ITS NOT JUST A RESPONSIBILITY ITS A BLESSING TO BE A PARENT.....ITS UP TO YOU WHETHER OR NOT YOUR A PARENT OR A DADDY...

YOU TALKED ABOUT HOW YOU GREW UP AND YOU DONT WANT A CHILD TO BE PUT THROUGH THE SAME THINGS.......WELL STEOP UP AND MAKE SURE IT DOESNT HAPPEN...SEEMS LIKE THAT WOULD BE YOUR MAIN CONCERN INSTEAD OF RUNNING FROM WHAT COULD TURN OUT TO BE THE BEST THING EVER TO COME OUT OF YOUR LITTLE POOR ME PATHETIC LIFE.....

GOOD LUCK COLLEGE BOY!

Quote:

Originally posted by mistral

be a man... get a job... support that child... don't matter if you don't loves that girl...

I agree! Hate to say it but that is the chance you take when fucking around. No matter what birth control you use there is always that chance she could get pregnant. It is not fair to the child to kill it with an abortion. I just became a father and it is one of the coolest experience of my life. Next time keep your dick in your pants!

Trust me that does not matter. My X Wife only had her period once every 3 months (I know ladies lucky huh) When she got pregnant with my son she had her period once a month like clockwork through her entire pregnancy. I was 24 at the time also, so the best thing I can tell you is to enjoy the baby while you can. Being a Father is not that bad and they can bring you a lot of joy. Just take things as they come but do have a DNA test done. Now days they will let the mother drop child support but she has to be willing to do it. Sorry I cant help any more then this.

Quote:

Originally posted by lsdforme_333

[reply=HOMER62]
SOMETHING MAKES NO SENSE....YOU SAID SHE WAS 6 WEEKS PREGNANT...BUT YOU FIRST TALKED TO HER A MONTH AGO...AND THEN HAD SEX A WEEK AFTER THAT.....YOU SURE THIS COULD BE YOUR CHILD?

I'm pretty sure it's mine. She said she had a period in between the last time she had sex and I was the last one. Of course, she could be lying. It was around a week and a half longer than exactly a month ago.
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