THANK YOU ALL FOR THE RESPONSE, I TRULY APPRECIATE IT GUYS!
Hi there, long time lurker here. I 've been reading in the Lounge for a while and know that there are many old and wise guys in here, so I guess I need your view or opinion on my situation. My girlfriend of the time (for 6 years) went to visit family in the US and while she was there cheated on me with a guy over about 7-10 days I think. She was there for a month, and this happened at the end of her trip.
I found out (she didn't tell me) and she also said she wanted us to split as we weren\'t working anymore. Just so you know, I'm a good guy, never mistreated her or anything. Up to this point she was great as a partner, she put on a bit of weight which didn't matter to me at all. She was loyal, caring, loving and all that. I wasn't far off proposing to her.
We didn\'t speak for a while, as there was some fallout, but I kept pushing for us to be friends as I didn't want to lose someone so close, even as a friend. We started talking aain when she realised that she'd lose a lot if she lost me as a friend. She was in touch with this guy regularly, then that contact died off as I don't think he did long distance communucating well. In the last 3 weeks before she went home, we spent every moment together outside of work, trying to get some sort of friendship going again. We did, and she was house sitting for a friend and had me over to stay every night, we hooked up here and there which was fun. In the last week before she left, she stayed with me (back at the place she moved out of 5 days after I found out) and we had 24/7 time together.
She said (THIS IS WHAT I WANT YOU OPINION ON!) that she wants to be with me but it wouldn\'t work right now. I couldn\'t be with her right now due to the cheating, but people make mistakes. She also said that she could see us growing old together etc, but that we both need to go away, make the changes we both want to make, and then re-introduce ourselves when the time was right. She said a lot of Ilove yous and I\'ll miss yous at the airport, and in the days before leaving, and she is a genuine girl so I have no reason to doubt that she meant it. But I knew that when she got home, there would be a guy waiting for her and she would be straight into this new relationship, and as far as I can tell she has.
He is 3 years younger, she is 28. He met his previous girl through cheating by the way. So it\'s hard, as some of the things she said were very loving and sweet and assured me that (the way she felt right now) she did want me as her future, but that it wouldn\'t work right now. She said she is scared that I\'ll meet someone in the meantime and that her chance would be lost with me. She says she doesn\'t see this new guy as a long term thing, but how would she know. She is all that I know guys, so for good or bad, I do love her and want to be with her, but I\'m not going to sit around doing nothing. I think I have built her up in my mind over the years as the\"one\" when there must be other great girls out there (that don\'t cheat too). I haven\'t been single in 10 years (I\'m 28) and it\'s a bit scary to be honest.
So here is my question, do you think there\'s a chance that two people could go away for a time and get back together like that? Should I just bury the whole experience with her and move on to someone new? Should I tell her to fuck off? She is scared she is making a huge mistake by going back home and breaking up. She is also worried that I have a new great job and managing my money better, I might be making the changes she needed me to make, and someone else will benefit. I told her that the next person that came along would get the benefit of all the lessons I have learnt from this, and she was sad when she heard that. I told her my best was yet to come, which I truly believe, which also made her sad. She pretty much wants to be with this new guy and have fun, while keeping me on standby for when she wants to get serious about a life partner. She most likely loves the attention of 2 guys as well. I have been in touch with her since she got home to the States, and she was sad on the first chat, missing me, but she\'s been fine since, as she\'s with the new guy now. I\'ve just been friendly and normal on the phone, with no sappy \"i miss you\' except for the first chat. I think she will let her guard down on a drunken late night call and show how she is feeling about all of this.
She wants us to be close as friends, and said she wants to see the changes I said I would make, I think she wants to keep tabs on who I might be with, and if I\'m still feeling anything for mer. She knows how strongly I feel for her, and that I hope it works in the future, trust would be a big factor, and one she said she wanted to gain back as friends. Anyway, thank you so much for reading this, is a huge part of my life that has changed, and any opinion is welcome , really.
Hi there, long time lurker here. I 've been reading in the Lounge for a while and know that there are many old and wise guys in here, so I guess I need your view or opinion on my situation. My girlfriend of the time (for 6 years) went to visit family in the US and while she was there cheated on me with a guy over about 7-10 days I think. She was there for a month, and this happened at the end of her trip.
I found out (she didn't tell me) and she also said she wanted us to split as we weren\'t working anymore. Just so you know, I'm a good guy, never mistreated her or anything. Up to this point she was great as a partner, she put on a bit of weight which didn't matter to me at all. She was loyal, caring, loving and all that. I wasn't far off proposing to her.
We didn\'t speak for a while, as there was some fallout, but I kept pushing for us to be friends as I didn't want to lose someone so close, even as a friend. We started talking aain when she realised that she'd lose a lot if she lost me as a friend. She was in touch with this guy regularly, then that contact died off as I don't think he did long distance communucating well. In the last 3 weeks before she went home, we spent every moment together outside of work, trying to get some sort of friendship going again. We did, and she was house sitting for a friend and had me over to stay every night, we hooked up here and there which was fun. In the last week before she left, she stayed with me (back at the place she moved out of 5 days after I found out) and we had 24/7 time together.
She said (THIS IS WHAT I WANT YOU OPINION ON!) that she wants to be with me but it wouldn\'t work right now. I couldn\'t be with her right now due to the cheating, but people make mistakes. She also said that she could see us growing old together etc, but that we both need to go away, make the changes we both want to make, and then re-introduce ourselves when the time was right. She said a lot of Ilove yous and I\'ll miss yous at the airport, and in the days before leaving, and she is a genuine girl so I have no reason to doubt that she meant it. But I knew that when she got home, there would be a guy waiting for her and she would be straight into this new relationship, and as far as I can tell she has.
He is 3 years younger, she is 28. He met his previous girl through cheating by the way. So it\'s hard, as some of the things she said were very loving and sweet and assured me that (the way she felt right now) she did want me as her future, but that it wouldn\'t work right now. She said she is scared that I\'ll meet someone in the meantime and that her chance would be lost with me. She says she doesn\'t see this new guy as a long term thing, but how would she know. She is all that I know guys, so for good or bad, I do love her and want to be with her, but I\'m not going to sit around doing nothing. I think I have built her up in my mind over the years as the\"one\" when there must be other great girls out there (that don\'t cheat too). I haven\'t been single in 10 years (I\'m 28) and it\'s a bit scary to be honest.
So here is my question, do you think there\'s a chance that two people could go away for a time and get back together like that? Should I just bury the whole experience with her and move on to someone new? Should I tell her to fuck off? She is scared she is making a huge mistake by going back home and breaking up. She is also worried that I have a new great job and managing my money better, I might be making the changes she needed me to make, and someone else will benefit. I told her that the next person that came along would get the benefit of all the lessons I have learnt from this, and she was sad when she heard that. I told her my best was yet to come, which I truly believe, which also made her sad. She pretty much wants to be with this new guy and have fun, while keeping me on standby for when she wants to get serious about a life partner. She most likely loves the attention of 2 guys as well. I have been in touch with her since she got home to the States, and she was sad on the first chat, missing me, but she\'s been fine since, as she\'s with the new guy now. I\'ve just been friendly and normal on the phone, with no sappy \"i miss you\' except for the first chat. I think she will let her guard down on a drunken late night call and show how she is feeling about all of this.
She wants us to be close as friends, and said she wants to see the changes I said I would make, I think she wants to keep tabs on who I might be with, and if I\'m still feeling anything for mer. She knows how strongly I feel for her, and that I hope it works in the future, trust would be a big factor, and one she said she wanted to gain back as friends. Anyway, thank you so much for reading this, is a huge part of my life that has changed, and any opinion is welcome , really.
* This post has been modified
: 18 years ago
