Girls on girls - You have questions...we may have answers

Why is it that so many young men make no attempt to look good with their jeans around their knees and with a baseball cap over a shaved head and turned backwards.....a look which automatically deducts 50 IQ points from their social image..... Why ? Must have something to do with the tribe that they belong to, where it is considered to be normal conformist behaviour. Or even sexy.....barf !

Ellen et al, look like rather normal peeps by comparison, ya know ?

Understand what I am saying ?

Quote:

Originally posted by hornithologist

Why do some lesbians try to look and act like men?

I don't understand this because ... If a chick is attracted to women, why dress and act like a man if you're trying to pick one up?

Rachel Maddow and Ellen Degeneres are two chicks that aren't that manly looking, but they aren't that feminine looking either. The short hair, the collared shirts under the vest or sport coat every damn day. Always pants and never a dress.

There are others who are even more manly ... "butch" they're referred to, who make no attempt at all to look good.

Just curious.

Quote:

Originally posted by newnicknameguy

Now that my wife is getting a little older and has put on a few pounds, the whole, "lets go to a strip club", "I wanna bring a girl home", "lets see if we can't seduce your hot co-worker" lifestyle I was used to has gone by the wayside.

Please tell me how to get it back?

How do you get sexy back?? Hmmmm. To be perfectly honest, I have no idea. How old is older? Is she still interested in sex, just not the "wild" stuff?

Weren't you the fellow ( 12/16/2010) whose wife is pregnant with an unexpected child, or am I mistaken ?

If so, your answer may lay in the facts, no ? What she needs is love and not "wild".

Quote:

Originally posted by newnicknameguy

Now that my wife is getting a little older and has put on a few pounds, the whole, "lets go to a strip club", "I wanna bring a girl home", "lets see if we can't seduce your hot co-worker" lifestyle I was used to has gone by the wayside.

Please tell me how to get it back?

Thanks for answering ladies. That helps me understand a little better.

SP - I didn't mean that they wanted to be a guy, just was wondering how they expect to pick up a hottie looking like that. But you explained it ... If they think like a guy, they're going to act like one a little bit and neglect their appearance.


888SPO - Yes, I think I understand. Kind of a "When in Rome" explanation, with a "tribe" growing accustomed to a look, and actually finding it appealing.

Quote:

Originally posted by newnicknameguy

Now that my wife is getting a little older and has put on a few pounds, the whole, "lets go to a strip club", "I wanna bring a girl home", "lets see if we can't seduce your hot co-worker" lifestyle I was used to has gone by the wayside.

Please tell me how to get it back?

Dear New,
A note of consolation. You are not alone. Same situation exactly here! And I, too, am still wondering how to get those old sexy feelings back.
Signed,
MissingTheOldFantasies

Dear Lesbians,

Which is better, a double-ended dildo session, or some scissoring-leg humping type movements?



-Curious in Kalamazoo

Dear Kalamazoo,

Haha !

Quote:

Originally posted by EricLindros

Dear Lesbians,

Which is better, a double-ended dildo session, or some scissoring-leg humping type movements?



-Curious in Kalamazoo

Girls tend to shit talk guys a lot for being untrustworthy and all that bullshit right, so like, does being in lesbian relationships make it easier to avoid that type of thing, or are girls just as fucking awful as men?

We had a girl come for the weekend that my wife used to have sex with all the time {a long term fuck friend}. When her friend started putting the moves on she backed off. The two of them have shared men on several occasions and this made me wonder why not this time. We had talked about the possibility of a threesome when she got here but the wife turned it down rather sternly. She won't tell me why,any advice?? Thanks ladies

Awful. And usually worse, frankly.

I have three brothers and work in a male intensive industry, and from this exposure I find that in general, men are far less petty than women. Men tend to be more big picture peeps and tend to not sweat the small stuff. Whereas we women....sheesh !

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

Girls tend to shit talk guys a lot for being untrustworthy and all that bullshit right, so like, does being in lesbian relationships make it easier to avoid that type of thing, or are girls just as fucking awful as men?

ok. so. I hadn't realized this was started so long ago oops. Sorry SP for leaving you to do all the answering. ha

So I'll spout out a few answers before I head out for a run fall all the way down the steps on my ass because of this damn ice storm we had overnight. Not an awesome way to start the day.

Quote:

Originally posted by Sugarpie

[ Image ]

THIS. yumm.

Quote:

Originally posted by ThreadKiller

OK, fair enough.
I'm sure lesbians exist because when I start chatting up a chick she says; "FUCK OFF Loser, I'm a lesbian!!!"

So when two or lesbians meet in a bar, do you sniff each others butts to determine pecking order?

How do you decide who does what? Feminine intuition? Secret handshake/boob grab?
[reply=Sugarpie]
...

In my case it's normally a lot of standing around wondering if she's actually gay or not. A secret handshake would make things much simpler.

[/reply]

I'm with SP, tons of wondering. Hah. I've actually never been the first one to hit on a girl b/c I'm terrified that I'm going to hit on a straight girl and she'll just be pissed off at me. I've only ever been involved with girls who I knew had identified as lesbians. That being said. I think hornithologist's question could be addressed next as it could relate to this.

Quote:

Originally posted by hornithologist

Why do some lesbians try to look and act like men?

I don't understand this because ... If a chick is attracted to women, why dress and act like a man if you're trying to pick one up?

Rachel Maddow and Ellen Degeneres are two chicks that aren't that manly looking, but they aren't that feminine looking either. The short hair, the collared shirts under the vest or sport coat every damn day. Always pants and never a dress.

There are others who are even more manly ... "butch" they're referred to, who make no attempt at all to look good.

Just curious.
[reply=Sugarpie]
...

I was going to get to it...I just didn't really know how to answer.

I guess what I can say is that everyone likes different things right? Some guys dress more casual than others, some have beards some don't, some guys have long hair, others have crew cuts. I think when a woman chooses to dress in a "butch" way, its just more noticed by society, because its not what people are accustomed to seeing. I don't believe that the majority of butch lesbians want to be a guy, thats not the case. I just think that they're more comfortable and identify more with males roles in society, and to some extent they may take that on in the way they dress.
[reply=hornithologist]
Thanks for answering ladies. That helps me understand a little better.

SP - I didn't mean that they wanted to be a guy, just was wondering how they expect to pick up a hottie looking like that. But you explained it ... If they think like a guy, they're going to act like one a little bit and neglect their appearance.


888SPO - Yes, I think I understand. Kind of a "When in Rome" explanation, with a "tribe" growing accustomed to a look, and actually finding it appealing.

[/reply]
[/reply]

So. I have a few insights for you. [You may not have intended it, but I think you actually asked a few separate questions, I don't see it as multiple ways to ask the same question.]

1. Some lesbians may dress more "butch" or tend to wear men's apparel because it makes them stand out- it's a statement- "I am a lesbian. Lesbians, feel free to hit on me-I'm into girls." If you see a girl with a short haircut, and wearing men's pants with a polo or a sweater vest suit ensemble, you're usually pretty safe to think that she's into girls (note: as you said, this does not fit all lesbians. I'm not trying to group all lesbians together.)

2. Just as one man's taste is different than another (one guy can be attracted to skater girls

while another likes such girly girls

while another likes... you get the point. Girls have the same tastes... we can like different things.

SP identifies as a lesbian. She herself is a hot sexy adorable beautiful gorgeous girl (just to list a few adjectives that describe her ) who tends to dress more feminine, and from what I know, tends to be attracted to other feminine women or as lesbians call them, "femmes."
-Correct me if I'm wrong on anything here, Sugar.

However, I identify as queer. I like girls and guys. I like girly girls and I like girls who like to wear men's styles. Some may say that I'm selfish and want it all. Haha maybe they're right. But the point is: I am attracted to many different types of people and sometimes this "butch" or masculine style of dressing is a turn-on to me.
I tend to focus on the pretty face and a good body more than what they're wearing on said body.

3. I really don't think it has anything to do with dressing manly or acting manly. I think each individual person is going to dress and act the way that they feel most comfortable. For some girls that is dresses and heels, and others that's polo shirts and Chuck Taylors.

Quote:

Originally posted by Darklight01

But anyway, in keeping with the glow of things....SP, does it ever happen that a lesbian or so-called "bi-chick" turns back into a *regular straight* girl? I do not mean to offend, if my question ends up doing so for whatever reason. I kinda need to know your thoughts on this. Yeah--it's a secret as to why I need to know.. Um, no need to break out your stick. You and I is friends, SP.

*fixed.*
I know your question was directed towards SP, but I felt left out Just as some girls date dudes and then one day realize that they're actually into girls, I think the opposite can happen too. However, there's nothing you can do to make someone turn from a lesbian or bi into a straight girl. If there's someone in your life that you're either in a relationship with or desperately wishing you could be, the best thing to do is just sit down and talk with them to see how they identify themselves or to see if they're having doubts with how they've been living. This may be the case, but either way, you're going to have to give the girl her space to think things through because I can guarantee that she is going to be confused as fuck during this period in her life.

Quote:

Originally posted by newnicknameguy

Now that my wife is getting a little older and has put on a few pounds, the whole, "lets go to a strip club", "I wanna bring a girl home", "lets see if we can't seduce your hot co-worker" lifestyle I was used to has gone by the wayside.

Please tell me how to get it back?
[reply=dobie1602]
...


Dear New,
A note of consolation. You are not alone. Same situation exactly here! And I, too, am still wondering how to get those old sexy feelings back.
Signed,
MissingTheOldFantasies

[/reply]
Talk to your wives. Tell us how it goes.

Quote:

Originally posted by kowman

Dear Sugarpie , If two women get married how do they decide which one is going to quit putting it out after the honeymoon is over?

Signed
Curious in the Sticks

I believe this is referred to as lesbian bed death: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_bed_death ...though I think this wiki is a bit of bullshit saying that in general, lesbians have less sex. I think it's just harder to classify "sex" for lesbians. Everyone has their own description of what lesbian sex really is.

Quote:

Originally posted by Sugarpie

...

Dear Curious In The Sticks,

If you had to have some sweaty grunting guy on top of you over and over again, wouldn't you quit putting out too?

Regards,

SP & LD

haha iLike.

Quote:

Originally posted by EricLindros

Dear Lesbians,

Which is better, a double-ended dildo session, or some scissoring-leg humping type movements?

-Curious in Kalamazoo

hilarity. I'll take the question seriously though I believe you were just looking to be an ass
So. Lesbian sex is many things. Often people think it's just scissoring and dildos. This isn't true. There is oral, there are strap-ons, we have fingers, lips, tongues, and thighs! and there are a bajillion different things you can do with all of these and as many positions. Hah. But. I'll speak from my own personal experiences.

I've actually never used a strap-on or dildos whilst having lesbian sex. So I can't honestly say of the two options which is better. However, I have used them by my own accord and I have and am currently, dating a guy. So obviously, I like this type of stimulation. But it's not for all lesbians. And yes, scissoring is something that can be done. It feels good but I wouldn't say it's the most amazing position. As for "leg humping type movements," this can actually feel great. It's all about who you're with, what the mood is, what their body is like, and how individual people like to have sex. Everyone is different. ...Just as hetero sex has many different positions and it feels good to change things up, same goes for lesbian sex.

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

Girls tend to shit talk guys a lot for being untrustworthy and all that bullshit right, so like, does being in lesbian relationships make it easier to avoid that type of thing, or are girls just as fucking awful as men?

Umm. I do think girls tend to say "all mean are pigs. blah blah blah..." and that's just as much pigeonholing men as saying, "all gay men have lisps and act effeminate" is pigeonholing all gay men. It's upsetting that a group of people can be classified together because they have one quality that is the same, yet all of the other thousands of varying qualities are not taken into consideration.

That being said, lesbians can be just as unfaithful or untrustworthy as any other type of person. It depends who the people are in question. I, myself, am a pretty trusting person. I'm willing to believe that I should be able to trust my partner unless they give me reasons not to. Many girls have jealousy issues and I think that carries over to lesbians too.





...I think this may be my longest post ever. Hah. I now have to get going for class. Will answer more later.

Quote:

Originally posted by Lucy_Diamond

1. Some lesbians may dress more "butch" or tend to wear men's apparel because it makes them stand out- it's a statement- "I am a lesbian. Lesbians, feel free to hit on me-I'm into girls." If you see a girl with a short haircut, and wearing men's pants with a polo or a sweater vest suit ensemble, you're usually pretty safe to think that she's into girls (note: as you said, this does not fit all lesbians. I'm not trying to group all lesbians together.)

2. Just as one man's taste is different than another (one guy can be attracted to skater girls

while another likes such girly girls

while another likes... you get the point. Girls have the same tastes... we can like different things.

You managed to sum up what I was trying to say, so much better...Yay Team!

Quote:

Originally posted by Lucy Diamond

SP identifies as a lesbian. She herself is a hot sexy adorable beautiful gorgeous girl (just to list a few adjectives that describe her ) who tends to dress more feminine, and from what I know, tends to be attracted to other feminine women or as lesbians call them, "femmes."
-Correct me if I'm wrong on anything here, Sugar.

Let me stop blushing before I answer this. lol

I do dress more feminine for the most part. I really don't like the terms, butch, femme, lipstick, etc. I simply call myself lesbian, but I do understand the need for people to classify things, so for the sake of this post I will say that I would be a lipstick lesbian. I'm not sure who came up with the terms, because I think lipstick lesbian sucks. You're now wondering what the difference between lipstick and femme is...I'll tell you. Generally its acknowledged that lipstick lesbian dress in a feminine way and are atracted to other feminine looking girls. Where as a femme lesbian dresses feminine, but is most attracted to butch looking lesbians. However, I agree with Lucy that I am more attracted to a beautiful face and nice body over what clothes they are wearing. I think both of her picture examples are quite beautiful.

Quote:

Originally posted by LD

*fixed.*
I know your question was directed towards SP, but I felt left out Just as some girls date dudes and then one day realize that they're actually into girls, I think the opposite can happen too. However, there's nothing you can do to make someone turn from a lesbian or bi into a straight girl. If there's someone in your life that you're either in a relationship with or desperately wishing you could be, the best thing to do is just sit down and talk with them to see how they identify themselves or to see if they're having doubts with how they've been living. This may be the case, but either way, you're going to have to give the girl her space to think things through because I can guarantee that she is going to be confused as fuck during this period in her life.

When I was in my teens I believed I was bi, in hindsight now I can safely say that I never really was bi. Yes, I had sex with guys, but I believe it was more just because I wasn't ready to come out as gay. I was scared how people would react, I was scared what that meant to both myself and my family, so I lied to myself and others because it was easier. Eventually I found the strength to come out, and I will never go back. So while I think its possible to change, I think its also very rare. I think if someone is still unsure of their sexuality, then its much more likely, but once you've had that inner conversation with yourself. That conversation where you finally accept who you are, and love yourself for who you are, then I think its quite un likely that you'll go back to straight. I don't pretend to speak for everyone, all I can draw on is my own experience, and coming out for me was as close to being re-born as I can imagine. So going back to being straight would be like ending my life as I know it.

Quote:

Originally posted by LD

Talk to your wives. Tell us how it goes.

Communication, communication, communication. Ask her the tough questions, or otherwise resentment sets in.

Again ... I thank you ladies very much. Lucy, your insight really topped it all off. I feel like I have a degree in lesbianism now.

And SP, since you are a "lipstick" lesbian, I am willing to bet you get more chicks than the "butch" type. I know you hate the terms, so sorry to use them.

Are there lesbian bars? Or do you gals just go to gay bars (usually I think of gay bars as more of guy thing)? My wife has dragged me to gay bars in Minneapolis before. There are always a fair amount of girls there, as well as a lot of guys hand dancing to techno and whatnot. I just figure the girls are similar to my wife, one who enjoys hanging out with gay men, but maybe I am wrong and they are lesbians.

On a side note, I have also been hit on once while there. Me and a buddy were just standing there drinking at the time, while my wife (girlfriend at the time) was dancing with friends. He just came up and stood right next to me, just giving me the eye and waited for a reaction. Lol, it was funny and I took it as a compliment.

Quote:

Originally posted by hornithologist

And SP, since you are a "lipstick" lesbian, I am willing to bet you get more chicks than the "butch" type. I know you hate the terms, so sorry to use them.

I don't know, like I mentioned in an earlier question, its really hard to know for sure if the girl I'm interested in is gay/bi. Which relates a little to your second question.

Quote:

Originally posted by hornithologist

Are there lesbian bars? Or do you gals just go to gay bars (usually I think of gay bars as more of guy thing)? My wife has dragged me to gay bars in Minneapolis before. There are always a fair amount of girls there, as well as a lot of guys hand dancing to techno and whatnot. I just figure the girls are similar to my wife, one who enjoys hanging out with gay men, but maybe I am wrong and they are lesbians.

It depends on the city. In my home town there really isn't a lesbian specific bar. There are 5 gay bars that anyone...male or female, gay or straight is welcome at. However 3 of them attract mostly an older male crowd, the other 2 are mixed, with one of them being a little younger crowd, so there isn't a whole lot of option for me. But in big cities, and more gay friendly cities, there are numberous Girl Bars When I go out, I almost always go to a gay club, not just because I'm trying to hook up, but because I just feel more comfortable there. I don't have the hastle of guys hitting on me. I know that sounds awful, but some guys just won't leave it alone when you tell them that you're not interested.

Quote:

Originally posted by hornithologist

On a side note, I have also been hit on once while there. Me and a buddy were just standing there drinking at the time, while my wife (girlfriend at the time) was dancing with friends. He just came up and stood right next to me, just giving me the eye and waited for a reaction. Lol, it was funny and I took it as a compliment.

I actually don't understand why most guys don't feel the way you felt. Take it as a compliment that someone finds you attractive, tell him thanks, but you're straight and move on. It feels good when people pay you a compliment, guys shouldn't take it as an insult that someone thought they were hot.

Quote:

Originally posted by Sugarpie

...
I actually don't understand why most guys don't feel the way you felt. Take it as a compliment that someone finds you attractive, tell him thanks, but you're straight and move on. It feels good when people pay you a compliment, guys shouldn't take it as an insult that someone thought they were hot.

Sometimes, even for an open-minded fellow like myself, it can feel uncomfortable. You know, just something you're not used to. That said, if you're in a gay bar and a dude hits on you, well, that goes with the territory. Not that I really have to worry about it much. I don't tend to hang out in gay bars and I'm not that pretty in the first place.

Also, there are numerous lesbian bars in south Florida. There's also gay/lesbian places and gay dude places too. I guess because there's a lot of gay people in the Miami/Fort Lauderdale area. I've been to a lesbian bar before and it was a pretty hip spot. It definately changed my stereotype of what a lesbian looks/acts like.

Quote:

Originally posted by 888SPO

Weren't you the fellow ( 12/16/2010) whose wife is pregnant with an unexpected child, or am I mistaken ?

If so, your answer may lay in the facts, no ? What she needs is love and not "wild".

...

Yeah, that's me. The pregnancy did turn our sex life around, first and last trimester she's been a hornball. But the wild side died a few years ago. Mid 30's now.

Revisit SP's advice on communication. And I hope I am not overreaching in saying this, but pregnancy is a hormonal cyclone, so don't take the highs or lows of it too seriously.

Now work on that communication thing. And good luck in getting a job.

Quote:

Originally posted by newnicknameguy

...
Yeah, that's me. The pregnancy did turn our sex life around, first and last trimester she's been a hornball. But the wild side died a few years ago. Mid 30's now.

Lesbians,

What is your opinion on lonely sea captains? [ http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/01/26/the-weirdest-dating-website-just-for-sea-captains/ ]

[youtube]hwRA_X7Hdq8[/youtube]

Thanks,
Fishy in Philly

Dear Fishy,

Do you happen to know if MissTaco81 is still looking for love? I'm just curious is all.

I'm lookin' for a sexual parrrrrtner!