Dirty nursery rhymes, limmericks..ect...

Sex is evil
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it back in

Its been a while since this has been added to, can't remember if any of these next ones are already posted and I don't feel like looking right now, so here we go

Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two hunks of bread.

A lesson in common sense


SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,

'What have you got there?'

Said the Pie man unto Simon,

'Pies, you Dumb Ass'

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings' horses,

And all the kings' men.

Had scrambled eggs,

For breakfast again.

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,

All over the bedside clock.

The little dog laughed to see such fun.

Then died of electric shock.

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

And when the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too 'cause he was gay

There was a little girl who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good.

But when she was bad........

She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

Dude - First time im in this thread - Fucking awesome - you must have heard of andrew dice clay - aka ford fairlane?

Mary mary quite contrary
Shaved her pussy
cause

it was so goddamnd hairy!!!!!

Jack and Jill went up the hill
each with a buck and a quarter,

Jill came down with two fifty

Oh, the fucking whore!!!!

Little miss muffet
sat on her tuffet
eating her pudding and pie

along came a spider
and sat down beside her

and told her


FUCKOFF BITCH!!!!!!

Ya I know Andrew

Little miss muffet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and whey

along came a spider
that sat down beside her
and said HEY, whats in the bowl bitch

hickory is the best of wood
fuckin' does a woman good
it opens her eyes
spreads her thighs
and gives her ass
good exercise