Dirty nursery rhymes, limmericks..ect...

abraham lincoln was a good old man, jumped out the window with his dick in his hand, said,"excuse me ladies, just doing my duty, now drop your drawers and give me some bootie

Quote:

Originally posted by theevilpimp

abraham lincoln was a good old man, jumped out the window with his dick in his hand, said,"excuse me ladies, just doing my duty, now drop your drawers and give me some bootie

thats funny...too bad it's from the 2Live Crew...Dirty Nursery Rhymes...can u say...BUSTED



only it's not..now drop your drawers..it's "pull down your pants and gimmie some bootie"..Brother Marquis of 2Live Crew..

Mary had a little sheep
took it to bed with her to sleep
the sheep turned out to be a ram
and Mary had a little lamb

Old mother Hubbard
Went to the cubbard
to gether poor dog some bread
When she bent over
rover took over
and she was bred instead

Jack and Jill went up the hill
Riding on an elephant
Jill got off and helped
Jack off the elephant

There was a young girl from Wick
Who said "mother what is a dick" ?
She said "my dear Annie"
It goes in your fanny
& jumps up and down till its sick

The breasts of a barmaid of Crale,
Were tattoed with the price of brown ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in braille

"It's my code," says a mailman named Drew,
"To unzip, then deliver a screw.
If virgins, when nervous,
Resist postal service,
I explain that the male must get through."

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If it wasn't for pussy
Cocks would rust

Jack and Jill went up the hill
They each had a dollar and a quarter
Jill came down with two and a half
Did they realy go for water?

There once was a vampire called Mabel
Who's menstrual cycle was stable
One weekend in four
She'd sit on the floor
And drink herself under the table.

There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said, "Look you've cum,
all over my bum,
This isn't a shag it's a mockery."

There was a young man from Mauritius,
who said his last fuck was delicious,
but the next time I come,
It'll be up your bum,
'cause that scab on your cunt looks suspicious

A promiscuous man from South France,
Got green rings surrounding his lance.
Said the doctor, "Some screw!
There's nothing to do,
Except watch it rot into your pants! "

There was an old pirate named Bates
Who was learning to rhumba on skates
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.

Bill said to young Miss Lewinsky
We must not leave clues like Kaczynski
You look such a mess,
take the hem of your dress,
and wipe all that stuff off your chinski

Said a lecherous fellow named Shea,
When his prick wouldn't rise for a lay,
"You must sieze it, and squeeze it,
And tease it, and please it,
For Rome wasn't built in a day."

Some gentlemen born under Aries
Are likely to go by contraries.
They're apt to ignore
The sweet girl next door
And feel much attracted to fairies.

There once was a man named Eugene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.

There is a young woman from Riga
With morals depressingly meager,
She's seduced twice a week
By a lecherous Greek
If "seduced" is the word when she's eager.