Dirty nursery rhymes, limmericks..ect...

There was a young fellow named Simon
Who tried to discover a hymen,
But he found every girl
Had relinquished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond!

There once was a woman from Blight
Her speed was much faster than light
I can now say
I fucked her today
And she came sometime last night

There was a young lady in France
Who hopped on a Bus in a Trance
Three passangers fucked her
Besides the conductor
And the Driver shot twice in his pants.

There once was a Vulcan named Spock
Who tried stroking his monstrous cock
With lust went berserk
And beseeched Captain Kirk,
"Bend over, this shuttle must dock!"

An epileptic young woman named Camp
Was seduced on her couch by a tramp
But the first time he squeezed her
She had a Grand seizure
And broke both his balls and a lamp.

There was a young Rabbi from Peru,
Who was vainly attempting to screw,
His wife said "Oi vey",
If you keep up this way,
The Messiah will come before you do.

A horny old trapper named Rex
Liked the risks of wild porcupine sex.
By incredible luck
His dick never got stuck,
But his nuts were just pitiful wrecks.

There was a young dentist Malone
who had a charming girl patient alone.
But in his depravity
he filled the wrong cavity,
God, how his practice has grown!

There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight 'un."
She replied, "Pon my soul,
You're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right 'un."

There once was a pirate named Bates
Who attempted to rhumba on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.

what the fuck???

Little jack horner sat in a corner humping his girlfriend dry,
he stuck in his pinky and pulled it out stinky and said
hhhmmmmmmm this is better than pie

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Jill, that dill
Forgot her pill
and now they have a son

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
it was split right up the front
but she didn't wear that one very often

A faggot who called himself Abel
Went cruising one day in a stable.
A stud of a horse
Fucked his ass with such force
That his bowels blew out of his navel.

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam
Caressing the tits of his madam,
And loud was his mirth
For he knew that on earth
There were only two balls - and he had 'em.

Mary had a little lamb...
she kept in her backyard..
and when she took her panties off..
his willy dick got hard..

My first sticky thread

Clinton and Lewinsky have shown
what Kaczynski must surely have known
that an intern is better than a bomb in a letter
given your choice of how to be blown

Mary had a little bike
She rode it back to front.
And whenever Mary rode
The spokes went up her cunt

there once was a girl with little red shoes
she loved to party, she loved to booze.
she lost her cherry but that's no sin,
because she has the box that the cherry came in