This girl makes me lose my fucking mind..

Ok, first off I'd like to say that I'm serious about this and I don't need crap posts please.



I'm in a very complicated relationship with a girl. We've been seeing eachother for almost a year now. We met while studying tourism, where we went to the same class.
At first I considered her a spoiled brat, the kind of girl that'll get everything she points to (including men). So in the beginning we didn't hang out at all. Six months later we ended up in bed together, nothing sexual, just out of necessity (imagine that). That night we talked a lot and I realized that she wasn't the brat I first thought. We started hanging out and one thing led to another.

During summer we didn't meet because we live far from eachother. I know now that she had sex with another guy during summer, but that doesn't bother me because we weren't really a couple at that point.

As autumn came, we started hanging out again. We had a project in school that had us working very intimately together. As time passed we got into a sort of relationship. I've learned that she has major problems talking about feelings. We're really god friends, we even think the same way (sometimes we don't need to say anything, we just know what the other is thinking).

We finished school just before christmas, but both of us got employment in the same company (a big charter company, so we weren't necessary going to end up in the same destination). I went to see her over new years and we had a great time, just relaxing, making the most of the time. As I was leaving it felt like we were parting for a long time and I wanted to tell her exactly how I felt about her but I never got around to it.
I sent her an sms saying I loved her the day after. She didn't reply for almost two days, but when she finally replied she said she loved me too. Needless to say, that made me really happy, but it also made me kind of sad since we didn't know what was going to happen.

Eventually we both got word from the company and I requested to be placed at the same destination as her. They managed to place us in the same little village in Egypt, which was great. As it turned out, the company was crap and neither of us decided to stay. She even got gastritis from being there. I got to fly home five days before her, so I was worried about her before I left already.

As I got home, I sent her a text message saying that I was at home and that I missed her. No reply.
I waited the five days until I knew she was going to get back to Sweden, I had told her that I could pick her up at the airport to ease her trip. Not a word from her.
I sent text messages asking if she was ok, and if she'd gotten home well. No reply.
A week and a half (and several text messages and an email) later she finally got online on MSN, so I asked her what was wrong, an she said she'd been sick and was going to the hospital the day after. After that she disconnected.
A few days passed, not a word from her.
At this point I'm starting to get really worried, I had troubles sleeping, I was starting to get gastritis myself. So I'm sending her text messages asking her what's up, which she of course doesn't reply to. Finally I sent her a text message saying that she has to get in touch with me and explain what's wrong and why she's doing what she's doing.



Now I haven't heard from her in a little over a week and I haven't tried to contact her either.

I got the advice that she might need some time to think our relationship over, I can accept that, bt my question to you is this:

How long should I wait for her to decide?


If this carries on too long, it won't do our relationship any good.
If she doesn't contact me at all, she'll be an unfinished chapter in my life and I'll always wonder what went wrong. Especially if we meet at some point, then it'll be like opening up old wounds again.

What should I do!?

It's driving me nuts!



Thanks for taking the time to read all of that.
No rants please, I could use some good advice though.

I wouldnt waste anymore time on her. It sounds to me like she has already moved on and is trying to let you down easy. Dont call her or text or any of that shit, and wait and see if she calls you. I suggest you go to the bar, get drunk, and find yourself a new girl!

1. Just out of curiosity, do you have telephone system in your country?

2. At risk of sounding stupid, I have come to the conclusion that she does not believe she has a relationship with you. Please analyze the facts carefully. She was doing someone else. She did not immediately reply to your sms. When she was sick, she did not share that with you, she did not seek your help and comfort. Lastly, she wants to dump you, except, she would not know what to say to you.

3. Move on please.

as much as life is harsh this is defenately a girl u cant c urself with.. if she did care she would b tryn half as hard to contact u as much as u contactn her .. this chapter is gonna end bad u dont have to read to find out that. i say send her an sms telln her hope she feels soon and that she got u too worried that u dont give a hell anymore. u apparently care alot for her bust sadly she sounds like she doesnt.. if i was at a bar the next round would b on me.

sorry to hear it bro

Don't wait for her to decide. just live your life.
The fact that you might have to face is that she might be with someone else for the time being and when/if shes done with them she'll come back to you (assuming that she truly loves you)
so my question to you is if she does this frequently why do you want to be with her and why are you putting up with the stress? (does'nt require a answer just something to think about)

Quote:

Originally posted by alphan2

1. Just out of curiosity, do you have telephone system in your country?

2. At risk of sounding stupid, I have come to the conclusion that she does not believe she has a relationship with you. Please analyze the facts carefully. She was doing someone else. She did not immediately reply to your sms. When she was sick, she did not share that with you, she did not seek your help and comfort. Lastly, she wants to dump you, except, she would not know what to say to you.

3. Move on please.

well analyzed listen to that guy

Nice avatar bosstatus, I always thought Bert was an evil little bastard

The Bert is just a suit i was wearing in that pic!

You're telling me pretty much what I expected to hear, it's just so ficking hard to get over a thing like this.

So just get over her?
No more contact unless she calls me..?

moved on mate.

How long has she been outta contact? A week? There is always the distinct possibility that she just lost her phone bro. You said you left 5 days before her so if she lost the phone that day, flew home 5 days later, rested day 6 due to jet lag then started to wonder why you hadn't called her would that not account for the lost time? If she's in the hospital from gastritis would someone contact you? If your worried you need to do a few things:

Call her parents and ask them where she is and if shes ok
Try and remember all the good times you guys had together, and then ask yourself if she really loved you or not.
Get a few drinks and calm down

Its only been a week, and usually the answer is much more simple than her feelings. Don't assume she's not taking you seriously just cause she's outta touch bro. Just don't sit there either.

ignore her alltogether man, all youre going to do is build contact bridges again..

shes over it and has moved on, now you do the same...if she comes crawling back, dont take her back
the chances are shed probably leave again...knowing youll take her back....again

Quote:

No more contact unless she calls me..?

If it were me, maybe not even then.

Quote:

Originally posted by WhatsInAName?

How long has she been outta contact? A week? There is always the distinct possibility that she just lost her phone bro. You said you left 5 days before her so if she lost the phone that day, flew home 5 days later, rested day 6 due to jet lag then started to wonder why you hadn't called her would that not account for the lost time? If she's in the hospital from gastritis would someone contact you? If your worried you need to do a few things:

Call her parents and ask them where she is and if shes ok
Try and remember all the good times you guys had together, and then ask yourself if she really loved you or not.
Get a few drinks and calm down

Its only been a week, and usually the answer is much more simple than her feelings. Don't assume she's not taking you seriously just cause she's outta touch bro. Just don't sit there either.

It's four weeks since I left Egypt, it's three weeks since she came home and It's a little over two weeks since she went to the hospital and it's a little over one week (9 days or so) since I last heard from her..

Quote:

Originally posted by 2112Pooh

You're telling me pretty much what I expected to hear, it's just so ficking hard to get over a thing like this.

So just get over her?
No more contact unless she calls me..?

Yeah, I think you have to, meet some new girls....they arent to hard to find

a lot of harsh words from some of you, but would you really be that harsh if you were in my situation?

I really love her..

Quote:

Originally posted by 2112Pooh

a lot of harsh words from some of you, but would you really be that harsh if you were in my situation?

I really love her..

i dont think any of us intend to be harsh....but alot of us have gone through similar shit, and know the outcome. Women can be more scheming and more selfish than us men sometimes, if they dont get what they want.... they go look for it somewhere else.

in no way do i want to make it seem that thats what happened, but think about everything logically, dont always trust your emotions, emotions can be deceiving, trust your mind and logical judgement.

thats my opinion anyways.... no one can claim to know exactly what women think, most of the times they dont even know..

that's all I'm asking, for her to explain what happened. If she can do that, I won't have anyproblems letting her go. If she doesn't explain anything, then it's going to be an infection that'll be around for quite a while.

I hate unfinished relations, it's better to speak your mind and be done with it.

If she doesn't explain I'm going to go from loving her to hating her, and I don't want that..

Quote:

Originally posted by 2112Pooh

that's all I'm asking, for her to explain what happened. If she can do that, I won't have anyproblems letting her go. If she doesn't explain anything, then it's going to be an infection that'll be around for quite a while.

I hate unfinished relations, it's better to speak your mind and be done with it.

good luck with that, in my experience its always them that want explanations, but never willing to give them out unless it suits them.

Sort of like when you chase a girl for ages...finally get her, get laid....get bored then never call again. You sure the were real feelings there from both sides?