This girl makes me lose my fucking mind..

Aw crap. Fuck me for tryin to keep it simple eh?

Quote:

Originally posted by WhatsInAName?

Aw crap. Fuck me for tryin to keep it simple eh?

I'm thinking about rewriting your answer before this one into a lenghtier one

CK

Quote:

Originally posted by flynraider

Dude, you've been dissed and dismissed.

Yes, or at least that's the way it feels..

Quote:

Originally posted by flynraider

If I've learned one thing about women in my relatively short life thus far, its that they aviod confrontation like the plague. A woman will "break up" with you in her mind and never bother to tell you because it might hurt your feelings or you might try to talk her out of it (i.e. confrontation). As you now know, it hurts your feelings more to not have any closure that it would if just came out and told you to fuck off.

Maybe I'm way off here but I have had several chicks do the same thing to me; not taking/returning calls, giving lame excuses when asked in person, etc., and it never ended well. Actually, it never ended at all. To this day, none of these women ever "broke up" with me.

I've had that as well, so I know exactly the difference between being dumped and just being ignored, that's why I want closure. She's not getting off without an explanation PERIOD.

Quote:

Originally posted by WhatsInAName?

I partially agree with flyin raider but in this case she DID write back. So what you need to do is sit back and reflect on your relationship for the past few months, she didn't decide to dissmiss you overnight so if you examine her behavior and how it may have changed you may catch a glimpse of why this is happening the way it is. She wrote you back dude and not to say "Don't talk to me" the lines of communication are still open so you may get the truth yet.

Yes, that's what I'm hoping. I know this girl very well, I think i said that earlier in this thread, but sometimes when we're together, we just need to glance at eachother and we know what the other is thinking. That's also a reason why I need closure even more with this girl. I've been in this situation before, having a girl just ignore me, but it's different with this one. I've never had a girlfriend that I've also considered to be my best friend.

Quote:

Originally posted by WhatsInAName?

I do think your E-mail was a bit harsh. Yes your feelings are a bit hurt but you need to let that go for now and make sure shes ok before you let hewr have it. I'm not sayin she don't deserve it but if you put her on the defensive so early it's gonna make smoothing this over a little more rough.

I know, I just got a bit mad, not really mad at her but rather mad at myself. I was thinking "well, if I can't get an honest answer, I might as well provoke her into saying something" even if that something is "We're finished". Hearing something is better than not hearing anything at all.

I will wait and see if she answers and then maybe, MAYBE, I'll be a bit more apologetic.

Thank you guys, I honestly didn't expect to get a good discussion out of you lot.

Seven pages and still going strong!

Quote:

Originally posted by CamelKnight

[reply=WhatsInAName?]
Aw crap. Fuck me for tryin to keep it simple eh?

I'm thinking about rewriting your answer before this one into a lenghtier one

CK
[/reply]

Fuck you CK (jk of course) that was some funny shit. Don't make me rewrite all the nice shit I said about you in yer other posts! I was tryin to help you out!

Quote:

I know, I just got a bit mad, not really mad at her but rather mad at myself. I was thinking "well, if I can't get an honest answer, I might as well provoke her into saying something" even if that something is "We're finished". Hearing something is better than not hearing anything at all.

I will wait and see if she answers and then maybe, MAYBE, I'll be a bit more apologetic.

Thank you guys, I honestly didn't expect to get a good discussion out of you lot.

Glad I can help in any small way, even more glad you appreciate it really. I hope things work out for the best and yes please keep us posted.

Quote:

Originally posted by WhatsInAName?

[reply=2112pooh]Thank you guys, I honestly didn't expect to get a good discussion out of you lot.

Glad I can help in any small way, even more glad you appreciate it really. I hope things work out for the best and yes please keep us posted.
[/reply]

Yup, I'll keep ya posted..

Does anyone else want to call absolute BULLSHIT on the fact that she has Gastritis. I mean she only fucking misspelled her own disease. Moreover the recovery time isn't a month long. I think you're getting taken for a ride dude. Honestly, not to sound dick, but did you make up your whole "relationship" with her and follow her to the other work location? Maybe she's avoiding you and doesn't feel she owes you an explanation because she thinks you're creepy and there's nothing to explain.

Quote:

Originally posted by BadderThanEver

Does anyone else want to call absolute BULLSHIT on the fact that she has Gastritis. I mean she only fucking misspelled her own disease. Moreover the recovery time isn't a month long. I think you're getting taken for a ride dude. Honestly, not to sound dick, but did you make up your whole "relationship" with her and follow her to the other work location? Maybe she's avoiding you and doesn't feel she owes you an explanation because she thinks you're creepy and there's nothing to explain.

why not create a thread about it and then not leave?

BadderThanEver has a bit of an attitude problem. The attitude itself isn't the problem, the problem is he thinks he's right at the exclusion of all other possibilities. My own father died of hepititus and if I can acctually spell it, its because I sounded it out, I didn't have reading material. Most importantly though, your forgetting she hasn't mispelled anything as far as we can tell. 2112pooh is relaying her message to us second hand stupid. He is the guy with the frikkin spelling error and mispelled HIS OWN DISEASE.

so remeber 2 things
1: "Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups" -Samuel L. Jackson
and 2: "If yer smellin' bullshit, maybe you should clean your top lip off" -WhatsInAName

Quote:

Originally posted by WhatsInAName?

2112pooh is relaying her message to us second hand stupid. He is the guy with the frikkin spelling error and mispelled HIS OWN DISEASE.

Very true..

Quote:

Originally posted by WhatsInAName?

so remeber 2 things
1: "Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups" -Samuel L. Jackson
and 2: "If yer smellin' bullshit, maybe you should clean your top lip off" -WhatsInAName

Sounds just about true to me..

Quote:

Originally posted by BadderThanEver

Honestly, not to sound dick, but did you make up your whole "relationship" with her and follow her to the other work location? Maybe she's avoiding you and doesn't feel she owes you an explanation because she thinks you're creepy and there's nothing to explain.

I like that he started that off with "not to sound (-like a-?) dick" Cmon guys you gotta agree, he sounded WAY less like a dick after he said that right? (note* extreame sarcasm warning)
Seriously though... You're a dick... I'll stop pickin on him now. Unless he speaks again...

Quote:

Originally posted by TickLer

[reply=BadderThanEver]
Does anyone else want to call absolute BULLSHIT on the fact that she has Gastritis. I mean she only fucking misspelled her own disease. Moreover the recovery time isn't a month long. I think you're getting taken for a ride dude. Honestly, not to sound dick, but did you make up your whole "relationship" with her and follow her to the other work location? Maybe she's avoiding you and doesn't feel she owes you an explanation because she thinks you're creepy and there's nothing to explain.

why not create a thread about it and then not leave?
[/reply]

Why don't you obsess over me just a little bit more. Okay? Try it.

Quote:

Originally posted by WhatsInAName?

BadderThanEver has a bit of an attitude problem. The attitude itself isn't the problem, the problem is he thinks he's right at the exclusion of all other possibilities. My own father died of hepititus and if I can acctually spell it, its because I sounded it out, I didn't have reading material. Most importantly though, your forgetting she hasn't mispelled anything as far as we can tell. 2112pooh is relaying her message to us second hand stupid. He is the guy with the frikkin spelling error and mispelled HIS OWN DISEASE.

so remeber 2 things
1: "Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups" -Samuel L. Jackson
and 2: "If yer smellin' bullshit, maybe you should clean your top lip off" -WhatsInAName

No, I do not think I am right at the exclusion of all other possibilities. I have thrown out a few other ideas of what to do. I don't see why the fact that he made up the relationship in his head is out of the realm of possibility. Although I would respect it if you disagreed (even though it would be weak given you have NO CLUE of the actually situation outside of our friend's side of the story) with my new theory, I am disheartened by the fact that you completely dismiss it. In a clearly blinded dislike towards me, no less. While I do believe that a few of the other theories could be true, I don't know what exactly IS true. I would say the leading theory, in my opinion, would be that she's just being a word we can't say here. She just lost interest and doesn't feel like she owes other people's feelings and emotions a her time of day.

There are a lot of opinions. Some have said her phone was lost, turned out not to be the case apparently, but it was possible. Some said she's just confused and needs time, also could be true, but if she had any shred of respect for our friend then she would let him know that without stringing him along for over a month. And while I agree with you, he is owed an explanation, I don't believe that he should go to extreme lengths to get it. It would only prolong the grieving process of moving onto a new love, if infact she is as heartless as she has been protrayed thus far.

I hope this brings some clarity to your assumptions and misguided notions that I am merely an stubborn asshole.

Quote:

Originally posted by BadderThanEver

There are a lot of opinions. Some have said her phone was lost, turned out not to be the case apparently, but it was possible. Some said she's just confused and needs time, also could be true, but if she had any shred of respect for our friend then she would let him know that without stringing him along for over a month. And while I agree with you, he is owed an explanation, I don't believe that he should go to extreme lengths to get it. It would only prolong the grieving process of moving onto a new love, if infact she is as heartless as she has been protrayed thus far.

I hope this brings some clarity to your assumptions and misguided notions that I am merely an stubborn asshole.

So far I haven't gone to extreme lengths to get an explanation, I never would.
Has she been portrayed as being heartless?
I just have no clue except that I NEED an explanation to be able to move on with or without her. Being in the dark like this is just killing me.

I've been thinking a lot about this whole thing since I got her email and as someone said, she didn't flip me off or tell me to go fuck myself. Today I'm feeling a lot more confident that we might be able to work this out. It's still just me and I still don't know anything for sure, but it feels a bit better.

I'm still waiting for her to answer the email I sent (she hasn't read it yet). When she does, I'll get back to you guys.

Quote:

Originally posted by BadderThanEver

No, I do not think I am right at the exclusion of all other possibilities. I have thrown out a few other ideas of what to do. I don't see why the fact that he made up the relationship in his head is out of the realm of possibility. Although I would respect it if you disagreed (even though it would be weak given you have NO CLUE of the actually situation outside of our friend's side of the story) with my new theory, I am disheartened by the fact that you completely dismiss it. In a clearly blinded dislike towards me, no less. While I do believe that a few of the other theories could be true, I don't know what exactly IS true. I would say the leading theory, in my opinion, would be that she's just being a word we can't say here. She just lost interest and doesn't feel like she owes other people's feelings and emotions a her time of day.

There are a lot of opinions. Some have said her phone was lost, turned out not to be the case apparently, but it was possible. Some said she's just confused and needs time, also could be true, but if she had any shred of respect for our friend then she would let him know that without stringing him along for over a month. And while I agree with you, he is owed an explanation, I don't believe that he should go to extreme lengths to get it. It would only prolong the grieving process of moving onto a new love, if infact she is as heartless as she has been protrayed thus far.

I hope this brings some clarity to your assumptions and misguided notions that I am merely an stubborn asshole.

No it brings no clarity. I am glad you took more time in thinking before you wrote this response though Badder you kept yer cool even tho I bashed the hell outta you. As for your clarity 2002pooh said this is important and he wanted no crap posts but your first response was to not go see her cuz hed get arrested. Nonsense. Hes not a stalker, she'd have to put a restraining order up for that to be fesible so you ASSUMED that if she wasn't gonna talk to him he'd get into legal trouble tryin to reach her.

2 you said "maybe hes makin it up" if you belive that than you should stop wasting his time and post elsewhere. When you do not know someone it's better to give them the benifit of the doubt rather than "calling his bullshit" on what might or might not be true. I dismiss your opinions because you have provided no viable information, and to call him on bullshit would require one of us to assume he was lying to us.

Your first two posts were not well thought or sypathetic to a man who's (or if in the case he's bullshiting us then/ might be) hurting. Assholes do that. Assholes speak without forthought or forsight. so instead of trying to prove your being slighted without reson you might want to appologize to pooh for doubting him when hes never givin you a reason, and being disrespectful of his wishes (in the case of crap posts) and your disrespect twoard his feelings.

On that note I appologize for using this thread once again to chide BadderThanEver. This is not the intention of the thread and I'm sorry.

Pooh, my man, I've been there - that emotional rollercoaster you're on. I learned a few things on that ride. This is what I learned and I hope everyone here can understand what I am about to say:

No Woman is worth your self respect.

My friend, stop running yourself ragid. Stop going around in circles trying to figure things out without having all of the facts and no clue about her emotional state. You will only end up exhausted, beaten, spiteful, hurt, and faithless. If you continue this way you will end up not believing in yourself and not believing in others. You have to love yourself before you can love others. Don't let this madness take this away from you.

So, my suggestion to your current situation?

When I was where you are now, I had to cut myself off completely. I deleted all of her e-mail, removed her from the address book, deleted her numbers on the phone, threw away all of the letters and poems. Essentially I severed 5 years of my life that revolved around her. I even went so far as to stop listening to music we both enjoyed as well as stop going to places I knew she would enjoy and where she might be.

I know my method is hard to do. It was not easy and I will not lie, I still think of her from time to time. But my life is so much better without her. I now know myself and I know those who are around me. I know happiness. I see the world better now and I believe I truly understand what Life and Love really are.

I sincerely hope you find the balance you need in your life. Right now you are shifted and this woman has control over your life. Take your life back. She is not worthy of you and your love. You are a good human being and it is time you start having better.

I hope I have been helpful. Please remeber: No Woman is worth your self respect.

Good luck my friend.

That sounds like you broke your arm to help ignore a headache . Its an interesting aproach, just going cold turkey, but most men need goals in order to make it work, and some of us substitue one thing for another wich is never healthy. What did you do to help you? This information might be useful for our friend if you can go into more detail about your trials.

I would also be remiss if I didn't say that I agree with you and BadderThanEver in that our girl has been disrespectful to 2002pooh but this seems to me to be the only incident (at least the only that he found worthy of mention) and as it's not a reacurring incident I'd be more inclined to forgive than try to Ignore 2 years of memories out of spite for a misguided woman.

Also Id like to point out that your method does not sound like balance (at least not to me). It reminds me more of surrender. You gave up your favorite places and music and anything that reminded you of her rather than fight back. Those 5 years were an important part of your life but you gave them all up just so you could better deal with the pain, and in the end you still think of her. I'm glad you're happy and that you feel better about yourself but that might not work in this case.

On top of that most relationships that are considered failures are considered so because both people leave feeling hurt and empty. Whereas (rare as this is) a successful relationship is measured by the couples remaining friendship even after the breakup. They still enjoy the music places and things they used to do together, that sounds more like balance to me. If I'm not mistaken this is more twoards the goals that pooh has for himself. Not that he wants to remain friends with her but that he feels he needs closure, contact or even an ending befitting the story of his life, or at least this chapter of it.

(I just can't shut up can I )

Holy shit!

Quote:

Originally posted by Jack

Holy shit!

Well, in a way I agree with ya there Jack, but then again no..

Quote:

Originally posted by BadderThanEver

Although I would respect it if you disagreed (even though it would be weak given you have NO CLUE of the actually situation outside of our friend's side of the story) with my new theory, I am disheartened by the fact that you completely dismiss it.

I would say the leading theory, in my opinion, would be that she's just being a word we can't say here.

She just lost interest and doesn't feel like she owes other people's feelings and emotions a her time of day.

I totally agree on the note that none of you know her story. Not even I know her story, so I guess that me making the relationship up in my mind can't be entirely dismissed. But the fact that I consider it to have been a relationship is based on this:

1. She's had several opportunities to go to bed with other men during last autumn (yes, she did sleep with another guy in the summer, but that's before I consider it to have been a relationship) but she never did. She's even told me that she had a few offers at some time, but she always ended up in my bed at the end of the day.

2. We've been really close friends. So close that we sometimes didn't even have to say a word to understand precisely what the other was thinking.

3. Even though it's never really been an "official" relationship, everybody in our vicinity has considered us to be a couple.

4. She's told me at some point that she really likes me and likes spending time with me (remember she's got problems talking about her feelings).

5. She has told me that she loves me. Once, but still.

As for your leading theory, that has crossed my mind once or twice, but I don't honestly think that's the case. One of the reasons I feel the way I feel about her is that we're very similar in several ways. I've been doing things like she's doing to me when I was younger, not to a partner, but rather towards relatives. When you're not feeling well, you don't want to talk to people, not even relatives or friends. This eventually makes you feel guilty about the fact that you haven't spoken to them, which in turn makes it even harder to contact them. I think she's feeling really bad about this whole thing as well and that's why she isn't talking to me. It's a shitty thing to do, but it's not unheard of.

Quote:

Originally posted by WhatsInAName?

When you do not know someone it's better to give them the benifit of the doubt rather than "calling his bullshit" on what might or might not be true.

On that note I appologize for using this thread once again to chide BadderThanEver. This is not the intention of the thread and I'm sorry.

Well, it is nice to get the benefit of the doubt.

To be honest, I really didn't expect to get ANY good feedback from you guys. Rather I expected to just get shitty posts and I was prepared to let the topic drown in all the regular porn "post mu tits"-topics and get on with it, so it's very much appreciated.

As you might have guessed, I don't consider BTE's posts to be bullshit, that's one of the good things with posting serious topics on a forum, you get all kinds of opinions. I think I'm strong enough to handle it. With that said, you might wanna check this thread out: BTE vs WIAN http://www.whatboyswant.com/forum_read/2089947/1//

Quote:

Originally posted by rockined

I know my method is hard to do. It was not easy and I will not lie, I still think of her from time to time. But my life is so much better without her. I now know myself and I know those who are around me. I know happiness. I see the world better now and I believe I truly understand what Life and Love really are.

I sincerely hope you find the balance you need in your life. Right now you are shifted and this woman has control over your life. Take your life back. She is not worthy of you and your love. You are a good human being and it is time you start having better.

I hope I have been helpful. Please remeber: No Woman is worth your self respect.

I know, I've tried doing what you're suggesting with other relations gone bad before. Maybe not in the extent you're suggesting, but still. That's why I've come to the conclusion that I NEED to understand WTF has gone wrong.
Yes, it feels like my life is in her hands, but to get my life back, I need to finish this relationship in a good way. To take my life back I need to talk this over with her first.
No, noone is worth anybodys selfrespect. Be that a man or a woman, noone is worth that.

I'm not giving up, I'm just a bit beaten ATM. Been there before and I know I'll get up eventualy.

Quote:

Originally posted by WhatsInAName?

That sounds like you broke your arm to help ignore a headache.

What did you do to help you? This information might be useful for our friend if you can go into more detail about your trials.

I would also be remiss if I didn't say that I agree with you and BadderThanEver in that our girl has been disrespectful to 2002pooh but this seems to me to be the only incident (at least the only that he found worthy of mention) and as it's not a reacurring incident I'd be more inclined to forgive than try to Ignore 2 years of memories out of spite for a misguided woman.

Also Id like to point out that your method does not sound like balance (at least not to me).

On top of that most relationships that are considered failures are considered so because both people leave feeling hurt and empty. Whereas (rare as this is) a successful relationship is measured by the couples remaining friendship even after the breakup.

I agree, it seems a bit too drastiv for me. If I can't find another solution, then maybe.

Well, it's the only incident I consider to be a problem. She's changed a lot since she started the education where we met, hell, she's changed A LOT since we became friends.

I'm inclined to agree with you again, to me, that doesn't seem like balance and I would consider it a failure to end this relationship in that way.



I don't know if this really is what boys want, I'd say there's way too many letters in this post.

Final update on the matter:
She's read the e-mail I sent her (at 10am this morning). No reply of course, but I didn't expect one that soon.
I've also sent her a postcard. Conveniently enough, that postcard should've reached her today (for those of you that don't know what e-mail I'm talking about it's the one where I was rather harsh and mad at her). I was rather humble in the postcard so she's probably not getting a very clear message.

Anyways, this has got to be the longest single post in wbw history..

EDIT: Spelling check

Ok, this topic is starting to near its end.

I got a reply to my mail this morning.

She wrote:

Quote:

The reason why I haven't answered your text messages is that I've had the phone turned off and I haven't had any money on it. I haven't bothered to refill it.

There's nothing wrong with you, I'm not mad at you and you haven't done anything.

I'm sorry that I haven't been in touch, but I haven't been feeling well and I've wanted to be by myself. I've turned off the phone.

I think it was too much with everything, resigning from work, catarsis (however it's spelled) laying off the smoking. I don't want to be unemployed and useless.

I'm going away for a few days so I won't be able to answer your mail or texts, so please don't get mad at me because I'm not answering..

Hugs XXX

OMFG!

I was so relieved when I read it I almost started to cry! (Yes, you may quote me on that)

No more sleepless nights, thx guys, you've been a big help. I'll keep you up to date about how it comes along, but as of today, I don't consider it to be a problem.

I'm off to bed to get a good nights/days sleep, I'll sleep like a baby!

All women will make you lose you fucking mind.

It's just a matter of degree.

The tricky part is knowing when to get the hell out without getting harmed.

Remember, there's no pussy worth going crazy.

Every female you meet has that crack, a clit, tits and indecisiveness.