This girl makes me lose my fucking mind..

Time heals all wounds. You don't have to get over it, but you got to get on with it!!!
Live YOUR life!!!!!

first of all: forget about it.
then: its ok that you wanna know what went wrong. maybe it will help if you contact her (not by sms, dude! talk to her) and tell her the truth. tell her that you´re not expecting anything from her (even if you are.) but you want to talk about what happened just to know whats up. if you´re lucky, she will say yes, if not --> forget about it...

Dude, It's obvious. She just is not into you. You are over thinking this because you are in love(you think) Take it from experience, when a guy and girl are hot for each other the communication happens very easily and quite natural.
Move on... if she shows back up, explore the reasons. Otherwise stop wasting energy. Finding the right girl happens, it's not work.
Good luck mate, I'm hoping I'm wrong for you.

Your question is: how long should you wait for her to decide? It is tough to put a length of time on it, but I would suggest 6 months. Now being from a cock strong country and having been raised a cock strong male, I must insist that during this six month wait you take full advantage of other females. I suggest also that if during this "cooling off period" that if you feel inclined to enter into a formal relationship with a woman other then her you do. If during this said relationship she came back, then there would be a power shift, from her to you. A power shift is always a good thing as long as it is in your favor.
Take the six month break, don't call her, text her, IM her, or contact her by mail. If during that period she contacts you, then take it where it will go.
Good luck, God's speed, and remember to always keep the chin up.

This is an odd request I'm sure. But I just shared this post with my wife Susa, and the first thing she wanted to see was a picture of the author. She would also like to see a picture of the girl. I am only posting this because she is sitting right behind me. If I offend, I do apologize.

Quote:

Originally posted by 2112Pooh

How long should I wait for her to decide?

man that's tough!

been there myself.

i think you shouldn't wait for her to decide on anything at this point. make a decision yourself.

good luck.

Quote:

Originally posted by 2112Pooh

At first I considered her a spoiled brat, the kind of girl that'll get everything she points to (including men).

I hate to say it pal, but your first reaction might have been your best one. She is probably exactly that. As humans we have the inate ability to start to ignore people's flaws once we start to like them. It's only at first that we see what people really are with a blind eye.

Clearly, if you two have had very limited contact in 4 weeks she doesn't want to have contact with you. Send 1 last e-mail being like, listen I realize things went for shit for some reason, I am completely in the dark as to why, I want nothing else than an explanation, whenever you feel like it. And then just wait. How long? Until she responds. I can't see how you can genuinely care about someone who clearly is showing NO feelings towards you.

You may write me off as being a dick, but I'm being truthful, and again it's your blinded judgement that thinks I am being an asshole right now.

Also...after you e-mail her this last time. Delete her number from your cell, from your buddy list, everything. Don't allow yourself the temptation. Out of sight out of mind. It's tough at first, no doubt, but it's really the only road to heart break recovery.

I studied in my psychology class that when you've been with someone a while; you feel "warm" and comfortable when you're around them because your brain release certain amounts of dopamine while your in the presence of certain individuals. You become used to your "daily dose" of "dope"amine. So when that person leaves for whatever reason you don't get your dose and you go through natural physical withdraws. That's why you feel like shit when someone breaks up with you or leaves you.

Quote:

Originally posted by pigeontamertoo

This is an odd request I'm sure. But I just shared this post with my wife Susa, and the first thing she wanted to see was a picture of the author. She would also like to see a picture of the girl. I am only posting this because she is sitting right behind me. If I offend, I do apologize.

Is she a psychic..?
I'm not offended at all, just curious as to why.

Quote:

Originally posted by FaShizzle

Also...after you e-mail her this last time. Delete her number from your cell, from your buddy list, everything. Don't allow yourself the temptation. Out of sight out of mind. It's tough at first, no doubt, but it's really the only road to heart break recovery.

I'm already half-way doing that, but I know her number by heart.

Quote:

Originally posted by bosstatus

I studied in my psychology class that when you've been with someone a while; you feel "warm" and comfortable when you're around them because your brain release certain amounts of dopamine while your in the presence of certain individuals. You become used to your "daily dose" of "dope"amine. So when that person leaves for whatever reason you don't get your dose and you go through natural physical withdraws. That's why you feel like shit when someone breaks up with you or leaves you.

I know that there's a lot of physical reactions going on in the mind of people in love, as a matter of fact, it's the same reactions as when you're mentally ill. That doesn't really matter, because I can't really control my physical reactions. But thanks anyway.

Quote:

Originally posted by alphan2

1. Just out of curiosity, do you have telephone system in your country?

2. At risk of sounding stupid, I have come to the conclusion that she does not believe she has a relationship with you. Please analyze the facts carefully. She was doing someone else. She did not immediately reply to your sms. When she was sick, she did not share that with you, she did not seek your help and comfort. Lastly, she wants to dump you, except, she would not know what to say to you.

3. Move on please.

this dude has hit the nail on the head!!! read what he has put becuase he has got it right. (especially about the phone system)

sorry dude, but un less she calls you and tells you she loves you then you should move on....

Too many words jeff, what we need to know is, do you have any naked pix of her?

I'm only gonna say it once. If you feel you need to go see her before you move on than do it. I'm not into playin womens games but its better to have closure than to feel bitter no mater what anyone else thinks. Take a weekend find where she is sit her down and tell her the hell you been through. If anything you'll learn what to do and what not to do the next time a girl does this too you.

Quote:

Originally posted by WhatsInAName?

I'm only gonna say it once. If you feel you need to go see her before you move on than do it. I'm not into playin womens games but its better to have closure than to feel bitter no mater what anyone else thinks. Take a weekend find where she is sit her down and tell her the hell you been through. If anything you'll learn what to do and what not to do the next time a girl does this too you.

Don't listen to this guy unless you want to get arrested and have the girl get restraining orders against you. If she doesn't want to talk to/see you, you have to accept that. She doesn't have to accept that you want to see her.

Quote:

Originally posted by 2112Pooh

If this carries on too long, it won't do our relationship any good.
If she doesn't contact me at all, she'll be an unfinished chapter in my life and I'll always wonder what went wrong. Especially if we meet at some point, then it'll be like opening up old wounds again.

I have many unfinished chapters in my life. I wonder about them and try not to dwell on them. You may hear a song or see a movie or TV show that reminds you of that unfinished chapter. You remember what you had and then move on to what you have now and where you want to go in the future. It's not easy but move forward because the world never stops and backs up.

Quote:

Originally posted by BadderThanEver

[reply=WhatsInAName?]
I'm only gonna say it once. If you feel you need to go see her before you move on than do it. I'm not into playin womens games but its better to have closure than to feel bitter no mater what anyone else thinks. Take a weekend find where she is sit her down and tell her the hell you been through. If anything you'll learn what to do and what not to do the next time a girl does this too you.

Don't listen to this guy unless you want to get arrested and have the girl get restraining orders against you. If she doesn't want to talk to/see you, you have to accept that. She doesn't have to accept that you want to see her.
[/reply]

That would be in the US maybe, it doesn't really work lke that here.

I've thought about confronting her, but that won't do any good, so I'll just not try to reach her no more and if she contacts me, I'll tell her exactly what she's done.

I probably will take her back if she can only explain why she's done this and apologize. I'm thinking this all started out as her not feeling well and not really wanting to talk to anyone, when she realized she'd hurt me, she didn't know what to say and then it's easier to not contact me at all.

Am I making any sense at al..?

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it was ment to be.

what strikes me as odd is that I don't see any attempt from you trying to contact her physically. Perhaps you live in different parts of the country?
If not, go and see her! confront her with the person that is you and see her reaction, rather then hear (phone) or read (SMS/email) it. 80% of communication happens with body language. Seeing her will tell you far better how she feels about you then reading what she's trying to say, if she sends anything at all.

Eventhough there *might* be a reasonable explanation for her not calling or texting you, it's far more obvious that she doesn't want you in her life anymore, for whatever reason.
The only way you are going to find out what reason that is, is to get in contact with her. So get on your bike/car/train/bus/shovel and go to her. Talk to her, ask her why she doesn't return your calls and stuff.
It might be tough, but it's the only way to get it clear. If you're unsure you can take the pain she might put you through when you talk to her, then postpone it a few months. Closure is important, even for us men. You can move on and always wonder, or get the answers you seek and feel really crap for a while, but move on in a better state of mind.

CK

Quote:

Originally posted by CamelKnight

what strikes me as odd is that I don't see any attempt from you trying to contact her physically. Perhaps you live in different parts of the country?
If not, go and see her! confront her with the person that is you and see her reaction, rather then hear (phone) or read (SMS/email) it. 80% of communication happens with body language. Seeing her will tell you far better how she feels about you then reading what she's trying to say, if she sends anything at all.

Eventhough there *might* be a reasonable explanation for her not calling or texting you, it's far more obvious that she doesn't want you in her life anymore, for whatever reason.
The only way you are going to find out what reason that is, is to get in contact with her. So get on your bike/car/train/bus/shovel and go to her. Talk to her, ask her why she doesn't return your calls and stuff.
It might be tough, but it's the only way to get it clear. If you're unsure you can take the pain she might put you through when you talk to her, then postpone it a few months. Closure is important, even for us men. You can move on and always wonder, or get the answers you seek and feel really crap for a while, but move on in a better state of mind.

CK

dr.phil is rasing his guard .. that was some wise shit

thnx

my own experience. got dumped by a girl aswell but never understood why. I had a MAJOR crush on her. I actually felt love for the first time...
I couldn't bare the thought of hearing/seeing why she didn't want me so I postponed it myself aswell. a year later I asked. I still got hurt but I can live with it now

CK