So, I get a bang on my door at 3am.
I think "what's all this then" while grabbing mah decorative dagger I got when I was eleven years old at a fair, thinking if it were intruders they had just fucked with the wrong brah.
I open the door and my dad is standing there, fully dressed. He even has a pen in his shirt pocket.
Honda: Everything okay?"
Honda Dad: Come here.
We walk into his room, then into his bathroom. He turns the fan on.
Honda Dad: I have a problem..
Honda: Oh...kay.
Honda Dad: I couldn't sleep and was reading the paper...
Honda: Yeah....(he was hesitating pretty hard)
Honda Dad: I was putting the newspaper back, and I knocked over the cup your mom keeps her dentures in. (my mom was in a car accident when she was younger, and has had an upper set of dentures for quite a few years now)
Honda: They're broken?
Honda Dad: I flushed them down the toilet.
Honda: *serious faced*
Honda Dad: I need you to go out into the back yard, remove the rocks that cover the septic tank, and grab them for me.
Honda: *super fucking serious face, eyebrows and the whole bit*
Honda Dad: I'll come too, lets go.
We roll out to the backyard, and he holds a flashlight while I remove the two concrete slabs that cover the wood and sand. I then remove the wood and the sand and then, the final giant ass concrete block.
There I am, looking into a giant vat of shit.
Honda: So uhh, now what?
Honda Dad: Reach in and fish around.
Honda: *the most serious face I have ever pulled in my entire serious facing career.*
Honda Dad: I'll get you a garbage bag, Sally.
He walks away and I grab a stick and start poking around. Many of you probably know this but septic tanks are like, super fucking deep. They also come with the added bonus of being fucking rancid awful disgusting. But, my dad is a brah...and I always have a brahs back.
My dad returns with a garbage bag. So I slide my arm into this garbage bag, and pinch the end with my hand. Then I stick my arm in as far as it'll go. and start feeling around.
Acura: Anything?
Honda: If we find them, then what? Wash them off and put them back.
Acura: We'll splash a little windex on them, it'll be fine.
Honda: Whateves.
I fished around for a good, twenty minutes. Also, fun fact, when you stick your arm all the way into something, your face tends to be kinda close....yay.
Acura: We need to find them Honda...
My dad is a cool as fuck guy, but he was almost sick...he knew how fucking epic the shit storm was going to be. My mom bitches about everything, even when there is nothing to bitch about. So, after awhile his dog barks because it wants to go outside, and then the other dog starts barking and it's a whole thing.
Then my mom comes out to see what's going on, and my dad yells up.
Acura: I dropped your dentures in the toilet.
My mom: Yeah, I have like three spare sets..it's fine.
Honda: *serious face*
So that was fun. I get to clean all that up tomorrow as well...
I think "what's all this then" while grabbing mah decorative dagger I got when I was eleven years old at a fair, thinking if it were intruders they had just fucked with the wrong brah.
I open the door and my dad is standing there, fully dressed. He even has a pen in his shirt pocket.
Honda: Everything okay?"
Honda Dad: Come here.
We walk into his room, then into his bathroom. He turns the fan on.
Honda Dad: I have a problem..
Honda: Oh...kay.
Honda Dad: I couldn't sleep and was reading the paper...
Honda: Yeah....(he was hesitating pretty hard)
Honda Dad: I was putting the newspaper back, and I knocked over the cup your mom keeps her dentures in. (my mom was in a car accident when she was younger, and has had an upper set of dentures for quite a few years now)
Honda: They're broken?
Honda Dad: I flushed them down the toilet.
Honda: *serious faced*
Honda Dad: I need you to go out into the back yard, remove the rocks that cover the septic tank, and grab them for me.
Honda: *super fucking serious face, eyebrows and the whole bit*
Honda Dad: I'll come too, lets go.
We roll out to the backyard, and he holds a flashlight while I remove the two concrete slabs that cover the wood and sand. I then remove the wood and the sand and then, the final giant ass concrete block.
There I am, looking into a giant vat of shit.
Honda: So uhh, now what?
Honda Dad: Reach in and fish around.
Honda: *the most serious face I have ever pulled in my entire serious facing career.*
Honda Dad: I'll get you a garbage bag, Sally.
He walks away and I grab a stick and start poking around. Many of you probably know this but septic tanks are like, super fucking deep. They also come with the added bonus of being fucking rancid awful disgusting. But, my dad is a brah...and I always have a brahs back.
My dad returns with a garbage bag. So I slide my arm into this garbage bag, and pinch the end with my hand. Then I stick my arm in as far as it'll go. and start feeling around.
Acura: Anything?
Honda: If we find them, then what? Wash them off and put them back.
Acura: We'll splash a little windex on them, it'll be fine.
Honda: Whateves.
I fished around for a good, twenty minutes. Also, fun fact, when you stick your arm all the way into something, your face tends to be kinda close....yay.
Acura: We need to find them Honda...
My dad is a cool as fuck guy, but he was almost sick...he knew how fucking epic the shit storm was going to be. My mom bitches about everything, even when there is nothing to bitch about. So, after awhile his dog barks because it wants to go outside, and then the other dog starts barking and it's a whole thing.
Then my mom comes out to see what's going on, and my dad yells up.
Acura: I dropped your dentures in the toilet.
My mom: Yeah, I have like three spare sets..it's fine.
Honda: *serious face*
So that was fun. I get to clean all that up tomorrow as well...
