This is a Serious Question..

Im sorry man, ive never personally expierenced that, im better at giving advice than living it

@ J: Easier said than done! She definately doesn't want to be with someone else, or be somewhere else. She just wants to know who she is and be happy with herself, without relying on me to make her happy..

I can only add this my friend: You already know in your heart what is right. If you are both being totally sincere....then all will be good. Unconditional love is just that. I've been through a few breakups that seemed life threatening, at the time (not saying this is that...just that the pain is similar). Let her be free....keep in touch (but not overbearing!!) and keep busy yourself. Time will FINALLY pass and resolution WILL occur. All the best to you!!! Sorry it's such bad timing for you and uni

Quote:

Originally posted by Síkon.

@ J: Easier said than done! She definately doesn't want to be with someone else, or be somewhere else. She just wants to know who she is and be happy with herself, without relying on me to make her happy..

Ummm yeah... people never end relationships because they have someone else in mind...

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Originally posted by [J

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[reply=Síkon.]
@ J: Easier said than done! She definately doesn't want to be with someone else, or be somewhere else. She just wants to know who she is and be happy with herself, without relying on me to make her happy..

Ummm yeah... people never end relationships because they have someone else in mind...

[/reply]


Sure they do....but sometimes...people tell the truth too. Since you don't KNOW what's in her head.....what's the point in getting in his face and being argumentative. Obviously this is a difficult situation without extra help!!

Quote:

Originally posted by caribonz

Sure they do....but sometimes...people tell the truth too. Since you don't KNOW what's in her head.....what's the point in getting in his face and being argumentative. Obviously this is a difficult situation without extra help!!

Sorry I don't sugar coat crap down people's throat.

i dont know sikon, it may have to do with the fact that im not a very sentimental or fuzzy kind of girl... but it just seems to me that i cant understand when people say things like that.

oh i want to be with you but i want my distance because i dont know who i am? its like im sorry am i cluttering your mind or something? wtf. i dont get it.

they are who they are whether they are with you or not, if you want to be someone else because you dont like your current self then the only person that can change that is you... and leaving the relationship isnt going to affect it either way unless youre ALLOWING it to. so to me its like ok youre too weak of a person to even see who you even are when youre with me? yeah... nothing says i love you like that statement.

people arent going to break up with someone and have some profound realization about who they are and why, itll just be the same shit as before. if there is some massive change in personality or what the person wants in life.. its because they just up and decided to act differently or want different things. it doesnt have anything to do with their signifigant other... sounds like a cheap cop out to me.

its kind of like "i cant be who i am when im with you"..... uh no... you wont LET yourself be who you are when youre with me.




to be completely honest it sounds like she doesnt know what she wants, and that includes not knowing if she wants to be with you.









but hey, i could be wrong :P hopefully for your sake i am

I think Naughty Gypsy and Vinnymac have the best advice, let her have her space, but be there if she needs you.

Given that you are going to be finishing Uni while she still has longer to go, maybe she is scared of the change that's coming soon, and wants to be sure she can cope with you being a (long?) distance away.

I know where you are coming from - you feel like the rug has been pulled from under you and can't see where the situation is going to go. Don't be disheartened, if like you say it's mean't to be, then this potential time apart can only serve to make your relationship stronger.

You have my best wishes and I hope it works out for you.

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Originally posted by FeFeHumHum

people arent going to break up with someone and have some profound realization about who they are and why, itll just be the same shit as before. if there is some massive change in personality or what the person wants in life.. its because they just up and decided to act differently or want different things. it doesnt have anything to do with their signifigant other... sounds like a cheap cop out to me.

Great use of common sense FeFe

Do not tie yourself down to her while she is off learning about herself. You have to use that time to learn about yourself also. She has made the decision that she has to know herself. You have to take this time to decide whether you want to deal with the possibility that she may do this again later. If you meet someone else while she is finding herself, do not hold out for her, follow your own path and don't feel bad about it.

Personal opinion here so take it for what it is worth. I have heard similar stories from guys about their girls before. Almost all of them wound up never getting back together at all and the few who did were short-lived. "I need to find out who I am" is usually only part of a sentence. The whole sentence is "I need to find out who I am interested in besides you."

sikon you need to be happy first and then if there is someone there to share your happiness with so much the better for you.

I've been there, done that with what you are going thru. In my days of youth I found myself messed up about what would happen to me, her and the whole situation. After a good sit down with myself I realized that if she wanted to go in another direction and that made her happy than go. I would go in my direction and develop my own happiness. Damn if it didn't work out just fine. Sure it hurts but you'll survive.

Now for the "If you love something let go free and if it loves you it will come back" cliche is so much horseshit I could use a dumptruck to haul it around town. In almost every instance of breaking up that I have ever heard that line being used I have seen ONLY ONE TIME that it became true. My friend and his wife are still married and happy after 20+ yrs, good for them. Every other one and myself found somebody else to be happy with.

Sikon you and your gf have come to the proverbial "fork in the road". Pick one and go, together or not, just walk forward.

sorry to say but it sounds to me like she wants to try something different while keeping her safe haven there just in case

I met the woman i married in college. we spent 2 1/2 years pretty much living together. i'm older and graduated prior to her and moved back home (which wasn't too far from school, but not at school). She stayed the year, graduated and then moved home (home for her was about 2 1/2 hours from me). We lived like that for almost 3 years. seeing each when we could, both of us working. she was working and in grad school, but becoming incredibly independent. we both became incredibly independent. thankfully, she graduated and told me she wanted to move back out to me. we lived together outside of school for 1 1/2 and then got married.

if you both try and keeping the relationship going and you trust each other, then it could work. unfortuntley, there is a big trust factor with fidelity that if you can't get over the possibility that she is going to move and may meet someone else, then don't try. you will crush yourself if you think that .

good luck...its not easy, but it can work.

Quote:

Originally posted by steelnail

Sikon you and your gf have come to the proverbial "fork in the road". Pick one and go, together or not, just walk forward.

see again... i just dont understand talk like this.


you have no choice but to walk forward, time goes on and you walk no matter what, there is no choice.

its like youre telling him not to choose to walk backwards.




i guess i just cant see the point of the whole thing. to me it sounds like shes complicating things that dont need to be complicated. relationships ARE complicated, im not denying that. but you work on them and compromise and deal with things together to make them work..... sounds like shed rather deal with herself on her own.

If you don't trust her enough to break up with her for a while, your relationship sucks.
If she doesn't prove worth the trust, your relationship sucks.
So, if you are going to lose something, it was never worth keeping.

Figured I'd add my little slice of life in here.

Anyway after a 15 year relationship that turned into 9 years of marriage my wife decided that our marriage an son where no longer important to her. People change man. What she wanted when she first met you an dated you have now more then likely changed. Take a break from her date othe people live your life. If you two are truely right for each other you'll both meet again. If not consider it all experiance an move along. I was 21 at the time I met her I am now 36 it's all just experiance now that I will use next time I decide I want a relationship.

Well that's my so called life as I now it.

MY two cents, if in fact your Love for each other is true, then distance between you will make your Love stronger than ever. I've been married 25 years and had some very rocky times, Love is Love wether your married or living together. It's in the heart and that's where you both have to look for the answer. If you truley can't be without her, then fight with all you have to keep her.

In my experience, I agree with what Fefe and Rockinthefreeworld said. I know it sucks, but that's life.

Quote:

Originally posted by HDNUT

if in fact your Love for each other is true, then distance between you will make your Love stronger than ever.

no... see this is complete shite in my opinion


you know what distance between you will do? put more distance between you.


all that it means is that it will take longer to get to each other to fuck and there will be a lot less fucking. thats what it means.



because you cant hold someones hand, or wake up next to them, or fuck them after dinner DOES NOT MEAN that your love will grow stronger... itll just mean that youre lonlier and hornier and therefore you will have the ILLUSION that your love is stronger.

the reality of the shit is that you will just want someone to cook you a real breakfast because youre tired of eating fruitloops, youll want someone to watch your shitty soaps with you because you look stupid laughing in your apartment alone, and youll want someone to fuck with because your hand is really getting boring.





lets stop fooling ourselves here. :P

.....or maybe its just me. :P