I'm Better Than You Because I have an iPhone.

Hello, former friends...



We can't be friends anymore because I'm better than you. I now own an iPhone...do you?

I didn't think so, faggot.


Don't even act like you found that attractive

From the moment it slid into my hands, and I was told what an "app" was...I'm pretty sure it's a sandwich topping...I loves me some app, anyway, from the moment it slid into my hands, I was overwhelmed by all this crazy touch button shenanigans....is this the future?

I had to call my good friend (name drop) Kanzen...after a brief, and panicked conversation (international long distance will rape your face off) he told me to "get it as long as it wasn't an iPhone 3"...so, boom, I got it.

Now, as an iPhone owner...I can always kinda taste Steve Jobs dick in my mouth. It kinda tastes like money. Is it possible Steve Jobs cums money? I'll look into that...winkyface.

I realized instantly that this is going to change my life, deep down to my core. I hate all of you now obviously, how could I possibly want to talk to you peasants...I mean, your phones make calls, take pictures....but my phone makes calls, takes pictures..AND is an iPhone.

I just feel so bad for you guys.

Now, you're probably wondering, "hey, apple fanboy..where is all the little apple logos in this thread?" well, up until this point I wasn't a gigantic faggot..(lol jk..I totally was) so I don't have any...but I'm going to take the ones that came with my iPhone and slap them on my smart car I'm getting tomorrow, after I trade in my goodlooking racecar. It'll just go better with my skinny jeans and ironic goatee.

Stay lame, losers......if I had to choose between saving your life, or scratching the screen of my iPhone...I wouldn't even hesitate to let you die.

Go back to however it is you pricks make long distance calls. Probably screaming into a fat girls vagina.

YOU HAVE FAILED.



Also, SP has an iPhone...she is also better than you.

Stupid ass!! I'v had an iPhone since they first came out!! SO IM WAY BETTER THEN YOU!!! ... WBW instantly at my fingertips 24/7!!

You seriously are fucking hilatious Honda.
I can pretty much do what you can on my phone. I can have my itunes on it too. Face time, awesome apps from reading boring shit, to all the other good shit.. So that's cool that you think I'm a faggot. Thanks Sir
You fucking rock.. Like HARD!!!

Another thing I can do (wbw at my fingertips)

I still think my 2 tin cans and the string is the shit, plus, it has no monthly bill to go along with it

And it has apps also, say I come upon a lynching that wasn't planned well, bam, I have the tools with me to do that, or my shoe string breaks, I can fix that also

So I assume you're going to live off of granola bars and chai tea now?

Fucker.


Just wait, I'll get my first Apple product in a bit, and then I'll join the pretentious club too. YOU CAN'T KEEP ME OUT!

Quote:

Originally posted by Demodad68

I still think my 2 tin cans and the string is the shit, plus, it has no monthly bill to go along with it

And it has apps also, say I come upon a lynching that wasn't planned well, bam, I have the tools with me to do that, or my shoe string breaks, I can fix that also

We already have a sad hillbilly..His name is Notech. Leave his phone alone. Also, you can use your stupid can phone to hide your petite boner after seeing my sexy phone.

Quote:

Originally posted by Deucie

Another thing I can do (wbw at my fingertips)

Yeah..a lot of people can do that too...it's call any phone. Not an iPhone...come back when you stop being awful at iPhone ownership.

Quote:

Originally posted by Deucie

You seriously are fucking hilatious Honda.
I can pretty much do what you can on my phone. I can have my itunes on it too. Face time, awesome apps from reading boring shit, to all the other good shit.. So that's cool that you think I'm a faggot. Thanks Sir
You fucking rock.. Like HARD!!!

Trying to butter me up with kind words will do nothing but fill me with contempt. If I could ban everyone that doesn't have an iPhone from this site I would....I hate you all so much I just rage fart-burped.

Owning your phone (any non-iPhone) is like clothes shopping at Wal-Mart...sure, think of the savings. Sure, look at the amazing selection..and at the end of the day, clothes are pretty much all the same.

Then turn around and look at all the freaks also shopping at Wal-Mart. These are your people....If it were up to me, 911 would only answer to iPhones.

Quote:

Originally posted by Road.Runner

Stupid ass!! I'v had an iPhone since they first came out!! SO IM WAY BETTER THEN YOU!!! ... WBW instantly at my fingertips 24/7!!

Oh..so you have one of the old ones...



That's cool I guess....

Damn that Mac guy is sexy.




Also...I've failed to notice any credit to me for your thread. Jerk.

Quote:

Originally posted by EricLindros

So I assume you're going to live off of granola bars and chai tea now?

Fucker.


Just wait, I'll get my first Apple product in a bit, and then I'll join the pretentious club too. YOU CAN'T KEEP ME OUT!

A macho, Neil Patric Harris looking mother fucker like you? The nerds at the apple store shouldn't even let you in there. I had to threaten to murder a little kid before they would open the door. I murdered the little kid anyway, because I was fucking serious. Nerds.

Once inside they stripped me down naked, all the girls in the store took a few steps back to avoid my mega boner....they we stunned. "He...he has..these things on his bones, what..what is this?" the one girl cried...while trying to hide her look of shocked bewilderment at my serious business dong.

"they're muscles..." the thin gay boy replied....you see, everyone that goes in the apple store is a faggot.

In the distance another girl said "but, he's not wearing an ironic tee shirt"...I was clearly blowing their fucking minds. But, much like the emperor built Darth Vader...they built me.

They suggested I stop eating and working out. They tri folded my penis and taped it up, so I could fit into skinny jeans without causing traffic accidents. Then they slid on gay leather boots, a hemp hat and belt...and a solar powered watch.

They called me...Fagatron. I am better than you...I am BETTER THAN EVERYONE.

Long story short, bring a hostage Dros.

Quote:

Originally posted by Sugarpie

Damn that Mac guy is sexy.

[ Image ]


Also...I've failed to notice any credit to me for your thread. Jerk.

Hrm. So it seems you have to be a gay homosexual in order to not hate the mac guy.

That I-tried-for-3-weeks-to-grow-this-barely-visible-facial-hair look coupled with the thin-floppy hairdo and effeminate face is just nauseating.

Is he even still alive? I assumed Kanzen would have raped him to death by now.

If I ever wanna have babies...I want Mac Guys sperm. I think we'd make very pretty children.


Yeah...I kinda have a crush ok.

whatevs

Prick...

Quote:

Originally posted by Deucie

whatevs

Prick...

I take it you like sandwiches....

If I had to assume, your favorite kind is jelly.

Because U JELLY

Quote:

Originally posted by Sugarpie

If I ever wanna have babies...I want Mac Guys sperm. I think we'd make very pretty children.


Yeah...I kinda have a crush ok.

Why did that crack me up so hard? Man..probably just the idea of that dude having sex.

Also, I edited my first post to give you a shout out about being awesome.

Quote:

Originally posted by Sugarpie

If I ever wanna have babies...I want Mac Guys sperm. I think we'd make very pretty children.


Yeah...I kinda have a crush ok.

What is this, I don't even...

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

Why did that crack me up so hard? Man..probably just the idea of that dude having sex.

Also, I edited my first post to give you a shout out about being awesome.

I didn't say I wanted to fuck him...I just want his swimmers in a test-tube.

And lol....thanks.

Quote:

Originally posted by EricLindros

...

What is this, I don't even... [ Image ]

iPhones turn chicks straight.

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

...

iPhones turn chicks straight.

[ Link ]

Only wannabe hipster chicks, I think.

Wannabe rockers, like Taylor Momsen or Avril wouldn't be caught dead with that douchegasm.