Divorced with children...

I know there are more than a few of us here that have children and no longer live with their other parent, so I want to hear from you guys (and gals) on this one.

What is the hardest part of dealing with your kids' other parent? What do they do (or not do, as the case may be) that drives you bat shit? What do you do about it? What do you WISH you could do about it?

This is your sounding board.

I'll go first...

I've been having major issues with my ex canceling visitation with my son last minute lately, and the poor kid gets so heartbroken over it, I want to punch him in the face. (The ex, not the kid ) He won't even tell our son himself, so I have to break the news and deal with the fallout. Now, I know that, from time to time, emergencies happen. This has happened 4 times in 7 weeks now, though. It's over the line, IMO, but there's fuck all I can do about it.


So, voice your opinion on what I said, blow off steam about your ex or just comment on what others have said...

Where is the we are still best friends but couldn't stay married box.. I know Im going through alot of emotions with my divorce but I have no issues with how she mothers my girls. She knows those girls love there daddy more than anything other than her. I fly home as much as I can now each month, til I can move there. We have a big understanding that the kids need to always see us get along. Which isn't that hard, cause we do. I still make her laugh and she still makes me look at her. I talk to both of my lil'ones everyday in depth, with stories and songs..

We are the Cleavers of soon to be divorced people..

its better to have loved and lost, than to keep living with the psycho

Quote:

Originally posted by RumDum

Where is the we are still best friends but couldn't stay married box.. I know Im going through alot of emotions with my divorce but I have no issues with how she mothers my girls. She knows those girls love there daddy more than anything other than her. I fly home as much as I can now each month, til I can move there. We have a big understanding that the kids need to always see us get along. Which isn't that hard, cause we do. I still make her laugh and she still makes me look at her. I talk to both of my lil'ones everyday in depth, with stories and songs..

We are the Cleavers of soon to be divorced people..

That would fall under halfway decent, no real issues with an explanation in your comment.


@ farkdude - Boy do I hear that!!!

This is a good thread I hope it makes it..

Maybe it will draw some nOObs to post.. which is a good thing.

Quote:

Originally posted by RumDum

This is a good thread I hope it makes it..

Thank you. I hope so, too.

Quote:

Originally posted by RumDum

Maybe it will draw some nOObs to post.. which is a good thing.

All are welcome to chime in.

I didn't want my kids to have the life I had... It was slightly better, but living so far away from them really sucked... We suffer from the effects of that today since they are full grown...

Quote:

Originally posted by Wilson2006

I didn't want my kids to have the life I had... It was slightly better, but living so far away from them really sucked... We suffer from the effects of that today since they are full grown...

I know how that goes. My dad and I had a rough time when I moved from CT to MA to AZ.

I used to watch a show called "Married With Children"...Al Bundy was so fucking lulzy.

I loved the way he made fun of fat wimminz...more people should watch it, and get schooled on how to hurt peoples feelings.

Also, Kelly was kinda hot when I was like 9.


Great thread NG, you just need a few more members chiming in with kids, sorry I can't help.

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

I used to watch a show called "Married With Children"...Al Bundy was so fucking lulzy.

I loved the way he made fun of fat wimminz...more people should watch it, and get schooled on how to hurt peoples feelings.

[youtube]L-qRJM5750A[/youtube]

Where do you thnk I learned to slam people??

Quote:

Originally posted by NaughtyGypsy

Where do you thnk I learned to slam people??

I always assumed you were an ex-NFL linebacker....

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

...

I always assumed you were an ex-NFL linebacker....

I am a single father with 2 boys. 6 and 4. My relationship with their mother is almost non-existent. She rarely sees them and even then she can usually only handle them for a day. Both boys have some slight learning disabilities which is tied into hearing loss that they both suffered as infants due to a birth defect. Apparently it was too much for their mother to deal and I have had them since they were 3 and 1.
Respect to all you single parents out there!!!

Great thread NG. ***** ™

I might get back with my 2 cents..We'll see.

you have kids

My hero's are single mothers.. I guess I can say single parents..

NG knows my baby-momma drama all too well.

Let's start with the three oldest boy's mother:

We got divorced after her second DV Assault with a deadly weapon and attempted kidnapping of one of the boys.
In an effort to give the kids a semblance of a normal family, I agreed to joint legal and physical custody.
About a year and a half later, her mother and little brother were going to move to Kansas, and she wanted to go with them.
We both researched the educational systems in KS vs AZ (where I live), and found the Kansas Public School System to be generally superior. So, with some reservation, but in the interests of a better education for the kids, I agreed to alter the custody agreement to allow her to keep them during the school year, and they moved.
Within 18 months, KS Child Protective services took the kids from her because her new BF turned out to be a child molester (his daughter, none of my kids... he'd be dead by now if it were) and she refused to leave him or let me bring the kids back here. The state refused to let me bring the kids home because she continually lied to them and tried to convince them I was unfit to be a parent.
They remained in foster care for more than two years before she finally got rid of the BF and the kids were returned to her.
They finally came to me for summer visitation three months ago. I have since begun to file for sole custody and refused to let them return to KS. She's sent the cops out to my house and they told her to go fly a kite, there is not a damned thing they can do because we have joint custody. (Incidentally, her new BF (20) likes to threaten me in the background any time she's on the phone with me.)

Now for the eldest daughter's mom. She lives in a neighboring town. About a 45 minute drive away. Always says I can see the girl any time I want, yet has an excuse for nearly every occasion I try to set up time. (Oh, and for the last 4 years has been trying to control my life and destroy my relationships in the hopes that I will get back with her.) She is, quite literally insane. Unfortunately, I'm not on THAT birth certificate.
She has recently come to grips with the fact that she's never going to get me back and has started bouncing back and forth between seeing a guy (who is "just a friend" in yet another town and insisting that she's going to start dating women. Meanwhile, continuing to insist on telling me every problem in her life, including the shit she just makes up.
I still see my daughter on occasion, and we have a great time, but she won't let her come home with me because NG and I live together.

Then there is the other ex-wife, mother of my Youngest son and daughter. (An undisclosed member of this site.)
She decided to leave after we agreed that our relationship was decaying irrevocably. Unfortunately, she cleaned me out and left me in a really fucked up financial situation. I ended up living in a tent for half a year while I got back on my feet.
Despite that, we are still good friends. No issues about the kids between us. And even though SHE moved across the country, I still have no problems seeing those kids. We have 50/50 time and joint legal and physical custody. Only the boy is school age, and he's doing home schooling VERY successfully (He tested out from Kindergarten to 2nd Grade, but we are going to make him do 1st grade anyway. ) and our daughter is attending speech therapy at the University of Tennessee to correct a speech impediment before it becomes a real issue (she's 3).

So, my ex issues run the gamut with the exception of a lack of involvement on the ex's part, unfortunately in cases #1 and 2.


There, now I've bared my soul to the community in which I have been a member thru 2 of the 3 relationships.

Quote:

Originally posted by RumDum

We are the Cleavers of soon to be divorced people..

at first I took this to mean that you took a cleaver to divorced people.... then I actually read the post..





I'm still married.. I would think that the way in which a person handles divorce is directly related to their maturity and whether they are a selfish person or not... typically selfish people don't make very good spouses.. (hence the divorce in the first place)

I have no real issues with my ex, we share custody of our son, I have residential custody for the sole reason that the school system where I live is much better than where she lives.

We both see him as much as we can, we don't use the courts visitation schedule, we talk, and if I want him for a special reason she's cool with it and viceversa. We have ALWAYS done what is in the best interest of the child and have NEVER used him as a pawn to get what we want.

We both love him more than anything in the world, she is a good mother, and I try to be the best dad that I can. We were married for 13 years and our relationship, as we have learned is better as friends, not partners, so for our sons sake its a pretty good deal. We never argue in front of him and never say anything bad or negative about the other parent to him.


Now, as for my girlfriends son, I have raised him as my own since he was a year old. His biological father, or sperm donor, as my girlfriend calls him, is a worthless piece of shit...

He hasn't called to see his son in months, for his birthday, back in April, he didn't even make an attempt to come and see him and I really wish he would drop off the face of the earth cuz his son really doesn't even know who he is, and I feel terrible for him when he see's the relationship that me and my son have together, so I do everything I can to make sure that he knows I will always be there for him if he needs me.