Offensive Jokes (caution may make you piss your pants)

I must say good show all! Very funny topic

Why do Jewish women have big noses?
Because air is free
Why are all Jewish men circumsized?
Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't at least 25% off

Q: How can you tell when a midget is on the rag?
A: She keeps tripping over the string.

Q: Did you hear about the mexican who went to college?
A: Me neither.

Q: How do you keep 5 black guys from raping a white woman?
A: Throw them a basketball.

A Jewish guy, an Italian guy and a Black guy are all at a bar havin' a few drinks when a really old guy comes walking in. The Jewish guy says, "Look at that old guy...he looks so old, he could be God! Bartender, send the man a few drinks with us." A few minutes later the old guy comes walking up and says, "I'd just like to say thank you for the drinks" The Jewish guy says, "Well to tell you the truth oldtimer, we thought you were so old, you could be God." The old guy says, "I am God." And God puts his hand on the Jewish guy's forehead and says, "My son, you have a brain tumor. You have less than a year to live." And God raises his hands to the Heavens and says, "but now, you're fine." He turns to the Italian and puts his hand on his stomach and says, "My son, you have undiagnosed prostate cancer...you have less than six weeks." And God raises his hand to the Heavens and says, "but now, you're fine."
The Black guy turns to God and says, "God, keep your fuckin' hands off me I'm on disability!"

Q:How can you see a black guy in the dark?
A:Tell him a joke

A white family, an Asian family, and a black family all live on the same block. One day, a bomb goes off and everyone on the block is killed except the black family. How come?
A: Everyone else was working.

Q: Why is a black woman like a well-done steak?
A: Black on the outside, pink on the inside.

Q: What did the blind, deaf-mute, quadrapuldgeic get for his birthday?
A: Cancer.

Three mexicans are driving down the road in a Pontiac, the car swerves off the road, carreens off a cliff and explodes in a giant fireball. What is the sad part of the story?
A pontiac seats five.

Q: How do you get a one-armed Pollak out of a tree?
A: Wave.

you done it again osaka, the mexicans one is the best!

Q. Whats the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
A. Canoes tip

Q. Whats Jewish doggie-style?
A. Begging for half and then the princess rolls over and plays dead

Q. Why do the French hate HIstory Class?
A. They keep repeating it

Q. what are the six gears on an italtian tank?
A. 1 forward, 5 reverse

Q. What do you call a french man defending his country?
A. Dunno...I haven't heard of one either

Q:Whats the difference between a Terrorist and a women on PMS?
A:You can negotiate with the Terrorist.

that's all so funny...I didn't realize we'd all be bashing the blacks though...oh well no one has come out against it yet so let's keep going...It's not a black one but it's one of my fav.'s

Hitler arrives in hell and Satan all excited goes up to him and says "Hitler I've been waiting for you, I've got this great new invention." Satan then leads him to a secret part of hell and unvails this huge frying pan. Satan then proceeds to hit a little button and 10,000 jews come down and start burning to death. Hitler all excited, starts to beg for the opportunity to hit that button, but before he can Satan excitedly hits it again. After hitting it 10,000 more jews come down and start sizzling in the frying pan. Then satan says "alright Hitler give it a shot." Hitler quickly hits the button but only 2 puerto rican's come down into the frying pan. Hitler pissed off starts ranting at satan "What the fuck you get 20,000 jews and I get 2 puerto ricans!" Satan replies "Oh I forgot after every 20,000 Jews we have to re-grease the pan"

q; how do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

a: pick it up and suck its cock

q: why do paki's smell so bad?
a: for the blind can hate them too

damn maxim, as a jew i found that actually quite funny
my fav was golfjunkies one about the dog tho
so simple but funny

they like me, they really like me awwwwwwwwwwwww

thanks ezupk...

My joke of the day:

A bannana and a vibrator are next to each other and the bannana looks at the vibrator and says why are you shaking, she's gonna eat me...

I just have to show you this

My contribution
A black man walks into the employment agency and tells the clerk he needs a job. The clerk looks though his papers and tells the man he just received a request from a rich business man that he needs a body guard for his nimpho daughter. He would be paid 250,000 a year, be provided only the finest clothes, and travel all over the world only in first class. The black man says "you got to be messing with me"
and the clerk says "Well you started it!"

ellis that's just wrong

Q. How can a Kentucky Mother tell if her daughter is on her period?
A. Her son's cock tastes funny.

How do you know that there is a good party at Michael Jackson's house?
His driveway is full of tricycles.

Q: what do you say to Micheal Jackson at the beach
A: get out of my sun (son)