Offensive Jokes (caution may make you piss your pants)

I've heard better...sorry

toolman where did you get yours from. BTW good work on becoming a watcher, you moved up in the ranks, and in my own personal notches. Your now notch 1.

I just did the google thing real quick...that's hilarious

and its true!

anyone else try the google thing?

Well thanks, thats quite an honor. I got those on a bunch of web sites and from friends.
Good, huh.

that smile is obnoxious rainbow

They were funny jokes!!

No.....this is an obnoxious smile:

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

i was kidding, it just makes me laugh seeing a single smiley in the middle of a post with nothing else there

Q: Why don't women need umbrellas?
A: It doesn't rain between the kitchen and the bedroom.

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, but I dont know how they got in there.

Q: How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time it gets to him.

Q: What is the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral thermometer?
A: The taste.

Q: What would happen if the world spun thirty times faster?
A: Men would get paid every day and women would bleed to death.

Q: What did Raggety Anne say to Pinnochio when she sat on his face?
A: Lie to me bitch, lie to me!

HAHAH the last one is the best osaka. Where did you get these btw?

Alright...I guess I will venture into this

Q. Whats the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?
A. On St Patrick's Day, everyone WANTS to be Irish

I have some pretty dirty friends. Ill post some more if you promise not to ban me for life. I mean, I have ones that scrape the bottom of the joke barrel and are so off color they would make Larry Flynt blush.

like the following?

Q. Why are all black people could at basket ball?
A. Cause they can all shoot, steal and run?

Q. Why do black people have white hands?
A. Cause there is a little good in all of us?

or is it like dead baby jokes...oh yeah, and please dont flame me or PM me about how you'll murder my family and rape my dog for saying those last two jokes

im gonna rape your dog and murder your family geist... wait scratch that.... reverse it

har d har har Ezupk...

WARNING: This post contains extreme racism. (Hey, I live in the south, it's only natural for me to know jokes like this.)

Q: What is pink with purple pokadots and sits on my front porch?
A: That's my ni****, I'll paint him any color I want.