Quote:
Originally posted by brownell
Yeah, but there is more acceptance for carpet munchers than sword fighters, so that helps even things out.
Brownell very succinctly made a point that I don't feel you're acknowledging, Carrie.
We live in a "male dominated" society - but the reality is that dominance has also mandated certain roles in our culture that women do not have to deal with. Women are, in essence, more free in our society - and about important things such as sexuality and personal choice.
A woman can wear:
Pants
Skirt
Dress
A man can wear:
Pants
A woman can cry. It's normal and we pretty much all accept that. It's a "stress reliever" or a "normal reaction."
What happens to a guy that does that?
A woman can be a boss. She can be an employee. She can be the newbie. Her social status remains unchanged in each of those scenarios.
A boy has to have a career and be a good provider.
A girl can be tough - hard as nails. She's respected and admired for such traits.
A boy can be tough - hard as nails. He's respected and admired for such traits.
A girl can be sensitive, soft, tender, and sweet, and she is adored and revered for such traits.
A boy can be sensitive, soft, tender and sweet, and he'll get his ass beat for it.
A girl can sleep with a guy and it's all good.
A boy can sleep with a girl and it's all good.
A girl can sleep with a girl, and it's all good - if not encouraged.
A boy sleeping with a boy? Dude, don't tell anyone. Keep that shit private. You're not only in social danger, but you're often in actual
physical danger.
Stay at home mom: No problem.
Stay at home dad: "What's wrong with that lazy slob? How can he possibly feel like a man?"
It's an overly simplistic and immature concept of our society to simply scream "Double standard!" at things of this nature.
It's true that the rules that apply to men are different than the rules that apply to women. In some cases that enables men - but in many cases - I would argue
most cases, it actually constrains men far more than it does women.
It is not a similar circumstance to compare bisexuality among women with bisexuality among men.
Women can have many roles and forms of expression in our society, but a man had better be tough, better be a good provider, better be dominant, and better be strong. There really isn't much in the way of other options for men.
When a woman goes down on another woman it's "hot, sensual, and in some cases even romantic."
When a guy does it, he's a punk.
The same set of standards do not apply to both genders, and therefore any argument as simplistic as "misogyny!" is also overly simplistic.
It's not a double-standard.
It's a different standard. One that is very real, and that has enormous consequences in our culture. You're not comparing apples to apples when comparing sexuality among the genders, Carrie, and I feel that to portray it that way is short-sighted, naive, and unfair.
* This post has been modified
: 13 years ago
