Your strangest surprise

Quote:

Originally posted by EricLindros

"wet rabbit cage."

If you'd have set up a concession stand in between your posts, you could have paid for med school by now.

I guess I've been lucky cause I've never had any terrible surprises in bed.

I'll have to go with the weirdest sexual request I've gotten. I was dating this girl for awhile and she was into really rough sex and play rape and all that. I don't do the whole play rape thing cause I don't want to feel like a rapist even if it's just pretend. Anyway she asks me one night if I will hold my gun (that's not a substitute for the word "penis" I mean an actual firearm) to her head the whole time while she sucks my dick and we fuck. I said hell no. She practically begged so for her sake I said fuck it and I told her as long as it's not loaded I guess we can try it. She then says that it wouldn't be the same without loaded and I told her she's fuckin crazy and we broke up shortly after that. We're still friends though, and she's still crazy.

Quote:

Originally posted by J-Swiss

I guess I've been lucky cause I've never had any terrible surprises in bed.

Except for this one time..when she had a penis.

Fixed.

Also, really?..that's fucked up.

Yeah, some chicks are really fucked up. She was a lot of fun in bed until she got comfortable enough with me to share her real fantasies at which point I realized that we're on 2 different sexual planets. She's married to this crazy rock n roll pierced all over type dude now. I'm sure they have some of the freakiest sex known to man. I just hope he doesn't own a gun.

@EL: Pregnancy scares are always terrible and the relief when it's over is always an almighty feeling. I've never had a pregnancy scare off a random hook up though and I'd imagine the fear and elation are multiplied exponentially over a regular girlfriend pregnancy scare.

Well I once went to an outdoor concert at the local ampitheatre, and the typical thing to do is show up early and party(tailgate)(beer) at your car until it's time for the show...

So me and some friends were drinking and whatnot and this group of girls who were parked behind us comes over to drink with my friends and I, one girl after a while inoticed wouldn't stop checking me out like I was Johnny depp or some moviestud lol. Well as we all decide to walk in together we go our seperate ways, after an hour or so of music I noticed the one chick that was gawking at me earlier standing over My right shoulder 10ft. Away...? And well she was staring at me? So It would hAve been fine if she weren't alone without her girls,I mean I was thinking this chick was stalking me, well I kinda get into the music and forget about it, I turned around again 40 min later she's staring at me still

the show was getting close to ending and I decide to walk out to the car cause I was kinda drunk and wanted to go chill at the car, I tell my buddies that I'd see them there. I leave and start to walk out and notice this girl following me seriously!! Kinda awkward cause she was really cute but a lil thick and wasn't my type, but was sauced enough to be like

Fuck yeah I'd hit( insert EL's fuck yea stick figure here!)

so anyway this chick walks up to the car 10secs behind me and says she thinks I look like and old boyfriend who she never got over and wanted to know if she could S my D!!!! Because that was his favorite thing to do! I asked if that was why she seemed to be staring at me and she said she couldn't help it that I just reminded her so much of him, I guess by looks?

So she and I are standing there in a full parking lot and everyone is inside the show and this chick wants to slob me knob...
I tell her that it's a weird request and I had alredy forgot her name, she tells me her name AMY as she squats down between cars to do the deed, by this point my Wang was half mast I pull my shorts down a little and she instantly gobbles the whole thing until it's gone.. More and more agressive she gets into it!! And I actually was like sobering up all the while feeling very blissed from this encounter, she's full on sucking me off like I hadn't had before, I see few peeps walking from a distance and I ask if she minds if I sit in passenger seat of the car because I didn't want to be seen, she asks if we could get in the back seat, sure I said thinking to myself this chick wants to do more than suck she wants to fuck also..

Well not to long after I lay back and get comfortable she's taking my cock to the base, all the way to the back of her throat! I couldn't hold out anymore I said I was gonna cum( I'm a nice guy like that) I came so hard in her throat and I mean OMG!! The mini sweets never touched her tounge only the throat, one of the best blowjobs I ever have gotten to this day!


So after that I pull my shorts up and we hop back out of the car and people are leaving and the shows about over, I ask AMY if she wants a beer and she says sure, now to the freakiest thing ever, I ask her why her and her boyfriend didn't work out and she said that he died In a car wreck minutes after she sucked him off in her driveway when he dropped her off!!!she said he must have fell asleep at the wheel after she made him cum, she found out the next morning and never got over him, and she said she thought about him when she was S'n my D????She wanted my number but at that moment I felt like dude wouldve punished me from the otherside if I gave it to her, she got the email addy instead never heard from her again

So you're saying she gives a killer blowjob

You're damn lucky you never heard from her again, that chick's psycho. She probably killed the boyfriend and you were next.

Oh, shit EL, I haven't laughed this hard in a year, at least. You shur can write.

I suppose I could write a long winded story with plenty of background. But posting in image form is much more fun.



Long story short: turns out, she wasn’t from this planet. Good thing I had my cellphone on me right?

P.S. She did have the most amazing tits though.

When I was just about to screw her she told me to stop and explained she'd rather have ONLY anal and no viganl penetrations due to....religious reasons...What obviously totally cracked me up. She, as a catholic, did not want to have vaginal sex before marriage...but she was totally okay with an anal penetration...kenya believe it? Poor, filthy thing, she couldn't walk next day

Quote:

Originally posted by blowinmouth

When I was just about to screw her she told me to stop and explained she'd rather have ONLY anal and no viganl penetrations due to....religious reasons...What obviously totally cracked me up. She, as a catholic, did not want to have vaginal sex before marriage...but she was totally okay with an anal penetration...kenya believe it? Poor, filthy thing, she couldn't walk next day

You fucked her in the ass THEN BROKE HER LEGS?!

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

...

You fucked her in the ass THEN BROKE HER LEGS?!

EPIC

Quote:

Originally posted by Kanzen

I suppose I could write a long winded story with plenty of background. But posting in image form is much more fun.

[ Image ]

Long story short: turns out, she wasn’t from this planet. Good thing I had my cellphone on me right?

P.S. She did have the most amazing tits though.

Not sure if that belongs in the Lounge, but DAMN!


BTW... I am so glad this thread has found new life! It's a ZOMBIE THREAD!

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

...

You fucked her in the ass THEN BROKE HER LEGS?!

I just lol'd at my comment thinking Lindros had posted it for some reason.