Your strangest surprise

What is the strangest surprise you came across when you finally got your girl in bed? For me, it was the fact that the this particular girl had a size B left boob and a size C right boob. (yeah, I know, kinda tame. Hopefully others have a better story.)

You can also tell the worst surprise you ever got. For example, another girl I had had a huge bush. In today's age of shaving I was really surprised... I think I am STILL coughing up hairballs!

This should be a neat thread.

I dated a girl that said she was a virgin and was holding out for marriage.
She also sad that didn't mean we couldn't fool around. One thing led to another and she's suckin' my dick. Good. I mean real good. I said if she was a virgin how did she know how to suck so well. She said her brother had a huge porn collection that her and her girlfriend would watch. Then she goes back to work, hitting all the good spots and cramming as much as she can get into her throat. When I tell her I going to release she stops and takes the load right in the face! She then looks at me with my spunk on her face and asks if she did it right.

Quote:

Originally posted by monsterk

I dated a girl that said she was a virgin and was holding out for marriage.
She also sad that didn't mean we couldn't fool around. One thing led to another and she's suckin' my dick. Good. I mean real good. I said if she was a virgin how did she know how to suck so well. She said her brother had a huge porn collection that her and her girlfriend would watch. Then she goes back to work, hitting all the good spots and cramming as much as she can get into her throat. When I tell her I going to release she stops and takes the load right in the face! She then looks at me with my spunk on her face and asks if she did it right.

Was she a Clinton supporter?

Seriously, though. Sounds like a good find. She's keeps you interested in her until she can sell ya the whole farm! It's also like a preview... If she's good at the foreplay, she might be good at the whole deal.

I was once screwing around with a girl when I was really young, and she refused to get naked. She took off her underwear and kept on her skirt, and all the rest of her clothes. I couldn't figure it out. She had what looked to be a really nice body, and a really pretty face, I was confused all to hell for awhile. Later on it turned out she had a boyfriend (I didn't know this, she told me a few weeks later on MSN)...and she didn't take her clothes off becuase it didn't feel like she was really cheating if she left on her clothes.

It was quite the retard situation. I had sex more often when I was younger, and ran into lots more weirdness, I'm a monk now, and it's pretty cool beans.

I know this thread was meant to be more like, physical weirdness, like a giant afro bush or a penis...but luckily I've avoided fucking Chewbacca the tranny.

Neat thread dude, I hope you get some interesting replies.

Yeah, I've got nothing to add.

I could... probably make something up. But then it'd end up being like "And then, one time, I was sexing up this chick, and she was all like 'Oh, that's not good at all.' And then she kept saying it, and then I was sad. But it turns out, that 'not good at all' is alienese for great. By the way, she was an alien."


That's right.

I'm the mother effin' Captain Kirk of IRL.

Quote:

Originally posted by Bangledesh

I could... probably make something up. But then it'd end up being like "And then, one time, I was sexing up this chick, and she was all like 'Oh, that's not good at all.' And then she kept saying it, and then I was sad. But it turns out, that 'not good at all' is alienese for great. By the way, she was an alien."

This is pretty sexy...please go on.

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

I was once screwing around with a girl when I was really young, and she refused to get naked. She took off her underwear and kept on her skirt, and all the rest of her clothes. I couldn't figure it out. She had what looked to be a really nice body, and a really pretty face, I was confused all to hell for awhile. Later on it turned out she had a boyfriend (I didn't know this, she told me a few weeks later on MSN)...and she didn't take her clothes off becuase it didn't feel like she was really cheating if she left on her clothes.

It was quite the retard situation. I had sex more often when I was younger, and ran into lots more weirdness, I'm a monk now, and it's pretty cool beans.

I know this thread was meant to be more like, physical weirdness, like a giant afro bush or a penis...but luckily I've avoided fucking Chewbacca the tranny.

Neat thread dude, I hope you get some interesting replies.

No, I think that would definitely qualify as a surprise. I probably would have tagged her a prude.

Yeah, I've fucked Chewbacca... but at least she wasn't a tranny. After that experience, I just can't see why guys are so attracted to a bush like that.

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

I was once screwing around with a girl when I was really young, and she refused to get naked. She took off her underwear and kept on her skirt, and all the rest of her clothes. I couldn't figure it out. She had what looked to be a really nice body, and a really pretty face, I was confused all to hell for awhile. Later on it turned out she had a boyfriend (I didn't know this, she told me a few weeks later on MSN)...and she didn't take her clothes off becuase it didn't feel like she was really cheating if she left on her clothes.

I swear I thought you were going to say she was using the skirt to hide her cock and in reality you were fucking a dude. I mean, that would explain A LOT!

Quote:

Originally posted by SoCal.

...

I swear I thought you were going to say she was using the skirt to hide her cock and in reality you were fucking a dude. I mean, that would explain A LOT!

Well, some of us can tell the difference between a vagina and an asshole. You're going to have to lose that pesky virginity before you start making comments like that sir...but one day you'll understand how silly it was.

Don't worry though, I'm sure there are all sorts of older chaps like yourself who just happen to still be virgins. Maybe join a Star Wars fanclub? It could double as a support group.

kthxbai.

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

...

Well, some of us can tell the difference between a vagina and an asshole. You're going to have to lose that pesky virginity before you start making comments like that sir...but one day you'll understand how silly it was.

Don't worry though, I'm sure there are all sorts of older chaps like yourself who just happen to still be virgins. Maybe join a Star Wars fanclub? It could double as a support group.

kthxbai.

Damn it! How did you know I was in a Star Wars fanclub? Uh, errr, ummm I mean I get laid all the time

I was a volunteer at a YMCA, and this girl that worked in the office was always flirting with me, asking me out and telling me how much fun she would be on a date, but I had a girlfriend at the time so I kept her at a distance. The very day after I broke up with my girlfriend, she and I went out on a date for drinks. After 1 drink, she took me back to her apartment to, in her words "see how much fun she was on a date." The whole walk there, she get rubbing my butt, occasionally putting her hand down the back of my pants and squeezing my butt cheeks. Once inside her apartment door, she immediately peeled off all her clothes, and showed me the battery operated, remote vibrator that she had up her pussy. She said that she was always so horny, she found that the only way to satisfy herself all day was to regularly crank up the vibrator so that she could orgasm while working. Without the vibrator, she'd need to go to the bathroom a few times a day to make herself cum. But, in the end, nothing - no one - no even me or any other boyfriend, could satisfy her like the remote vibrator did. I'm sure she made the Energizer Bunny very rich.

Yes I have a true story one night i went out to the bar and met this chubby gal well one thing led to another and we ended up at her place she asked me if I like Pink Floyd thinking the music I said yes. The next thing I know she is coming out of her bedroom with this big F@#$^&* dildo yes a dildo well to say the least I split man.

Quote:

Originally posted by willtobe006

Yes I have a true story one night i went out to the bar and met this chubby gal well one thing led to another and we ended up at her place she asked me if I like Pink Floyd thinking the music I said yes. The next thing I know she is coming out of her bedroom with this big F@#$^&* dildo yes a dildo well to say the least I split man.

Quote:

Originally posted by Great_Schlep

I was a volunteer at a YMCA, and this girl that worked in the office was always flirting with me, asking me out and telling me how much fun she would be on a date, but I had a girlfriend at the time so I kept her at a distance. The very day after I broke up with my girlfriend, she and I went out on a date for drinks. After 1 drink, she took me back to her apartment to, in her words "see how much fun she was on a date." The whole walk there, she get rubbing my butt, occasionally putting her hand down the back of my pants and squeezing my butt cheeks. Once inside her apartment door, she immediately peeled off all her clothes, and showed me the battery operated, remote vibrator that she had up her pussy. She said that she was always so horny, she found that the only way to satisfy herself all day was to regularly crank up the vibrator so that she could orgasm while working. Without the vibrator, she'd need to go to the bathroom a few times a day to make herself cum. But, in the end, nothing - no one - no even me or any other boyfriend, could satisfy her like the remote vibrator did. I'm sure she made the Energizer Bunny very rich.

It's funny how if the average girl found out you watched porn she would be all "omg, really...that's gross"...meanwhile the majority of them have dildos that would put Fefe's "The-triple-coke-can" to shame.

I'm going to need Kanzen to post the pic of the triple pop can dildo shoop he made, since I can't find it.

Quote:

Originally posted by Great_Schlep

I was a volunteer at a YMCA, and this girl that worked in the office was always flirting with me, asking me out and telling me how much fun she would be on a date, but I had a girlfriend at the time so I kept her at a distance. The very day after I broke up with my girlfriend, she and I went out on a date for drinks. After 1 drink, she took me back to her apartment to, in her words "see how much fun she was on a date." The whole walk there, she get rubbing my butt, occasionally putting her hand down the back of my pants and squeezing my butt cheeks. Once inside her apartment door, she immediately peeled off all her clothes, and showed me the battery operated, remote vibrator that she had up her pussy. She said that she was always so horny, she found that the only way to satisfy herself all day was to regularly crank up the vibrator so that she could orgasm while working. Without the vibrator, she'd need to go to the bathroom a few times a day to make herself cum. But, in the end, nothing - no one - no even me or any other boyfriend, could satisfy her like the remote vibrator did. I'm sure she made the Energizer Bunny very rich.

wowsers man! That sounds straight outta Penthouse Forum! Awesome.

My first ex wife was known around her home town as somewhat of a T----mp,well I liked her looks
and after a while we got serious and then more serious and she tells me that she is a virgin(?)

She was!!

Quote:

Originally posted by notech

My first ex wife was known around her home town as somewhat of a T----mp,well I liked her looks
and after a while we got serious and then more serious and she tells me that she is a virgin(?)

She was!!

I guess that means she handed out many a BJ..

Probably up in the 37 rage.

lol

Quote:

Originally posted by RogueLeader

...

Yeah, I've fucked Chewbacca... at least she was a tranny.

I would not have let fucked that dude if you were hangin with me that nite. Sorry.