The Wordsmith Thread : General > The Lounge

#4435963

Lvl 37

ThreadKiller 13 years ago

The phrase "shoo-in" which means to be a sure winner, comes
from horse racing lingo. When corrupt jockeys conspire and
agree to hold back and to "shoo in," or urge forward, a slow
horse on which they have bet. In such a phony contest, the
shoo-in is the winner of a rigged race. In turn that seems
to have come from the verb shoo, meaning to drive a person or
an animal in a given direction by making noises or gestures,
which in turn comes from the noise people often make when
they do it.

#4435964

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

On July 12, 1942, someone shot Max Geller, the owner of Harlemâs Green Parrot Restaurant. The restaurant was locally famous for its namesake parrot, who had a useful vocabulary and could greet regular patrons by name.

No customer could identify the killer, and the agitated bird would cry only âRobber! Robber!â As the investigation foundered, someone suggested that perhaps it was saying âRobert! Robert!â

On the list of Gellerâs regular customers detectives found a Robert Butler, a cab driver who had disappeared after the shooting. They traced him to the Bethlehem Steel plant in Baltimore, and he confessed: Heâd shot Geller in a drunken rage for refusing to serve him. He was convicted in February 1944 and sentenced to 15 years.

He said, âI never did like that bird.â

#4435965

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

When Sinclair Lewis won the Nobel Prize in 1930, he began to receive fan mail. One young woman proposed becoming his secretary. âIâll do everything for you,â she wrote. âAnd when I say everything, I mean everything.â

Lewisâ wife, Dorothy, saw the letter and responded. âMy dear Miss,â she wrote. âMy husband already has a stenographer who handles his work for him. And, as for âeverything,â I take care of that myself â and when I say everything, I mean everything.â

#4435966

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

But Miss Cooper, the daughter of the novelist, tells a story which is well-nigh incredible. When in Paris, she saw a French translation of âThe Spy,â in which a man is represented as tying his horse to a locust. Not understanding that the locust-tree was meant, the intelligent Frenchman translated the word as âsauterelle,â and, feeling that some explanation was due, he gravely explained in a note that grasshoppers grew to an enormous size in America, and that one of them, dead and stuffed, was placed at the door of the mansion for the convenience of visitors on horseback.

â William Shepard Walsh, Handy-Book of Literary Curiosities, 1892

#4435967

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

Amazon reviews of A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates (1955), by the RAND Corporation:

* I had a hard time getting into this book. The profanity was jarring and stilted, not at all how people really talk.
* Once you get about halfway in, the rest of the story is pretty predictable.
* If you like this book, I highly recommend that you read it in the original binary.
* I would have given it five stars, but sadly there were too many distracting typos. For example: 46453 13987.
* I really liked the "10034 56429 234088" part.
* Frankly the sex scenes were awkward and clumsily written, adding very little of value to the plot.
* For a supposedly serious reference work the omission of an index is a major impediment. I hope this will be corrected in the next edition.

The average customer gives it four stars.

* This post has been modified : 13 years ago

#4435968

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

Court transcript quoted by Rodney Jones in Disorderly Conduct: Verbatim Excerpts From Actual Cases, 1987:

The Court: I got the Quadrophenia, but then he said somebody played in it, and I didn’t get that.

Prosecutor: The Who.

The Court: The what?

Witness: Musicians.

Prosecutor: The Who.

Witness: The Who.

The Court: Who?

Witness: The Who. That’s the name of the band.

The Court: So that’s the name of the group, the Who?

Witness: Yes, the Who.

The Court: Not the What? The Who?

Witness: No, the Who.

The Court: You got it, everybody? The Quadrophenia is a movie with the Who.

Witness: Punk rockers.

The Court: All right.

#4435969

Lvl 22

Notech_The_Abbot 13 years ago

Then Who's on second?

#4435970

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

Costello: I don't know.

Abbot: He's on third.

C: Who?

A: No, he's first base.

C: Who?

A: The man on first.

C: What's the man's name on first base?

A: No, What's on second.

C: Who's on second?

A: No, who's on first!

C: I DON'T KNOW!

A: He's on third.

#4435971

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

lalochezia
n. emotional relief gained by using indecent or vulgar language

#4435972

Lvl 27

RiffRaff 13 years ago

Some good stuff here

ambisinister - Clumsy or unskillful with both hands.

#4435973

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

After leaving a Cambridge party, H.G. Wells realized he had picked up the wrong hat. The owner’s name was inside the brim, but the hat fit well, and Wells liked it. So he sent a note instead:

“I stole your hat; I like your hat; I shall keep your hat. Whenever I look inside it I shall think of you and your excellent sherry and of the town of Cambridge. I take off your hat to you.”

#4435974

Lvl 27

DEMO 13 years ago

Quote:
Originally posted by EricLindros

After leaving a Cambridge party, H.G. Wells realized he had picked up the wrong hat. The owner’s name was inside the brim, but the hat fit well, and Wells liked it. So he sent a note instead:

“I stole your hat; I like your hat; I shall keep your hat. Whenever I look inside it I shall think of you and your excellent sherry and of the town of Cambridge. I take off your hat to you.”

I like this, but I wonder if it would work with another mans wife

#4435975

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

Teacher: “If you have seven apples and I asked for three, how many would you have left?”

Pupil: “Seven.”

– Ralph Louis Woods, Modern Handbook of Humor, 1967

#4435976

Lvl 27

911Porsche 13 years ago

The last post are FUNNY!

#4435977

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

On July 17, 1945, Suite 212 of Claridge’s Hotel in London became part of Yugoslavia.

Queen Alexandra was giving birth, and Winston Churchill made the concession so that the new prince could be born on Yugoslavian soil.

#4435978

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

Unidentified court transcript quoted by Rodney R. Jones in Disorderly Conduct: Verbatim Excerpts From Actual Cases, 1987:

Counsel: Could you briefly describe the type of construction equipment used in your business?

Witness: Four tractors.

Counsel: What kind of tractors are they?

Witness: Fords.

Counsel: Did you say “four”?

Witness: Ford. Ford. Like the Ford. It is a Ford tractor.

Counsel: You didn’t say “four,” you just said “Ford”?

Witness: Yes, Ford. That is what you asked me, what kind of tractors.

Counsel: Are there four Ford tractors? Is that what it is?

Witness: No, no. You asked me what kind of a tractor it was and I said Ford tractors.

Counsel: How many tractors are there?

Witness: Four.

#4435979

Lvl 27

DEMO 13 years ago

I like tractors

#4435980

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

Russel Simmons on Chris Brown:

Quote:
I am reminded of my brother Rev. Run’s sermon that he tells every time about his breakdown. He was sitting in the bathtub getting his hair cut, while smoking a joint, while eating pancakes and hair and ashes from the joint were falling in the pancakes and the syrup was falling in the tub and he was waiting for the phone to ring from some girl he had met on the road. He had a brand new Rolls Royce delivered to front of the hotel he was staying in, waiting for him to drive away. Had he been writing a song during that time he’d be okay, but he wasn’t. The things were there, but people were forcing him to deal with the outside when the outside was nothing but sickness. Because the outside is noise and the inside is the spirit.

So, you end up eating pancakes in the bathtub—that’s all it’s worth to you. Eat pancakes in the bathtub, get your hair cut while you smoke a joint and wait for the phone to ring for some girl, some groupie that might show up. It’s a lot.

#4435981

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

Christopher Hitchens on Helen Mirren:

Quote:

“You don’t notice that she’s acting at all, and you can forget (unlike with, say, Debra Winger or Meryl Streep) that you have ever seen her before. I even forget that I’d seen her romping naked through Caligula and had to go out and rent it all over again just to remind myself.”

#4435982

Lvl 59

EricLindros 13 years ago

nikhedonia
n. the pleasure of anticipating victory or success

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