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Starter: EricLindros Posted: 16 years ago Views: 19.0K
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#3870148
Lvl 30
Can't wait for a Prime Minister like this for Australia !
The rest of the world could take a lesson from him.
Hats off to Monsieur Fillon!!!

Prime Minister of France
For once, a French politician has the courage to say out loud what the French think and sometimes cry out about.
Interesting approach…
Learning to live in peace and harmony …
Muslims who want to live under the law of the “Islamic Sharia” have recently been told to leave France in order to guard against possible terrorist attacks,
the government has targeted radicals.
Apparently, the Prime Minister, Francois Fillon has angered some French Muslims in stating:
THOSE IMMIGRANTS, WHO ARE NOT FRENCH MUST ADAPT.
Take it or leave it, I’m tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture.
Our culture has developed with struggles and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.
Our official language is French, not Spanish, or Lebanese, or Arabic, or Chinese, or Japanese, or any other language.
Therefore, if you want to be part of our society, learn the language!
Most French people believe in God. This is not some Christian obligation, influence by the rightists or political pressure, but it is a fact, because men
and women founded this nation on Christian principles, and this is clearly documented.
It is then appropriate to display this on the walls of our schools’ …
if God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your home, because God is part of our culture.
We will accept your beliefs without question.
All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in peaceful harmony with us.
This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, AND OUR LIFESTYLE.
And we offer you the opportunity to enjoy all this.
But if you’re tired of our flag, our commitment, our Christian beliefs, or our lifestyle,
I strongly encourage you to take advantage of another great French freedom, THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.
If you are not happy here then LEAVE.
We did not force you to come here.
You asked to be here.
So accept the country YOU chose.

Well said…Mr Fillon!
#3870149
Lvl 22
Just Sayin',

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that,


"When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."


However, in government, education, and in corporate America, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:


1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.

7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse's performance.

10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.

11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of economy than do some other horses.

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.


And, of course....


13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position
#3870150
Lvl 30
Clever Catholics:
Last Saturday afternoon, in Canberra, an aide to Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd visited the Bishop of the Catholic cathedral in Canberra .
He told the Cardinal that Kevin would be attending the next day's Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point him out to the congregation and
say a few words that would include calling Kevin a saint. The Cardinal replied,
"No. I don't really like the man, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of his views." Rudd's aide then said,
"Look, I'll write a check here and now for a Donation of $100,000 to your church if you'll just tell the Congregation you see Kevin as a saint." The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the Money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."
As the aide promised, Foreign Minister Rudd appeared for the Sunday worship and seated himself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As
promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Mr Rudd was present. The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, "While Mr
Rudd's presence is probably an honor to some, the man is not numbered among my personal favourite personages. Some of his most egregious views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and he tends to Flip- flop on many other issues. Kevin Rudd is a petty, self -absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit. He is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Kevin Rudd is the worst example of a Christian I have ever personally witnessed. He married for money and is using his wealth to lie to the Australian People. He also has a reputation for shirking his Representative Obligations both in Canberra, in Queensland and Overseas.
The man is simply not to be trusted."
The Cardinal concluded,"But, when compared With Prime Minister Gillard, Foreign Minister Rudd is a saint."
#3870151
Lvl 22
Bill Clinton endorses Michelle Bachman for President
#3870152
Lvl 30
Julia Gillard never spoke truer words when she said yesterday "I'm not going anywhere"!
#3870153
Lvl 22
Man died and went to heaven. He saw a huge wall of clocks behind St. Peter. "Why all the clocks?" St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.' 'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?' .....'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, she never told a lie.' 'Where's President Obama's clock?' asked the man. Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan!
#3870154
#3870155
Lvl 59
lol
#3870156
Lvl 30

Our Money (Borrowed) Being Sent Overseas!
If you look like a goose, walk like a goose, dress like a goose and talk like a goose then the only goose is our PM.
Before you read this, just remember the $20,000,000 Penny Wong couldnt possibly find in the budget to pay back the troops to compensate for the
Government swindle on DFRDB.
Now, $20,000,000 will miraculously appear to cover the Snouts in the Trough pollies for their meager pay rise. What a joke from ALL sides of
the house!!!!
Oh, and today she has announced $11 Billion (which we will have to borrow) to prop up the Euro !! How stupid is this Government without a
mandate !
HOW TRUE !
We're "broke" & can't help our own Seniors, Troops, Orphans or Homeless etc.
In the last month we have provided aid to Haiti, Indonesia,Timor , Turkey, Greece & Pakistan. Our Aged Pensioners living on a 'fixed income'
receive no aid or get any breaks while our Government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Millions of $$$$$$'S and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!
We have thousands of adoptable children who are shoved aside to make room for the adoption of foreign orphans.
AUSTRALIA a country where we have homeless without shelter, children and adults going to bed hungry, Elderly going without 'needed' medication and Mentally ill without treatment - etc etc.
YET...................
They are requesting donations for the people of Pakistan a country currently buying fighter planes worth $1.4 billion.
TV stations, ships & planes lining up with food,water, tents,clothes, bedding,doctors and medical supplies.
Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US' the same support they give to other Countries.
Sad, Isn't It? 99% of people won't have the 'guts' to forward this.
I However Just Did !
#3870157
Lvl 59
#3870158
Lvl 30
Julia's Orgasm:

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Gillard fans?
Not really knowing what a Gillard fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Billy in the front row.
The teacher asked Billy why he has decided to be different.
'Because I'm not a Gillard fan.'
The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you a Gillard fan?'
'Because I'm a Liberal.'
The teacher asked him why he's a Liberal.
Billy proudly answered, 'Well, my Mum's a Liberal and my Dad's a Liberal, so I'm a Liberal.'
Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, 'If your mum was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'
With a big smile, Billy replied, 'That would make me a Gillard fan.'
#3870159
Lvl 22
drunk canadian man in R.C.M.P. custody fears death sentence, sings "bohemian rhapsody"

http://www.mandatory.com/2012/03/29/drunk-perp-sings-bohemian-rhapsody#page=1%3Ficid
#3870160
Lvl 30
Titanic Too:
I am just waiting for Bob Brown to be made either "acting" Deputy Prime Minister while Swan is out of the country or "acting" Prime Minister Whilst
Ju-liar is away.
Would give his superannuation a major fill up for when he retires.
#3870161
Lvl 30
THE NEXT STIMULUS PAYMENT:
Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very , and I'll explain it by
Using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money ?
From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Aust. Economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Coles, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala.
If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in Australia by:
1) Spending it at garage sales, or
2) Going to the footy , or
3) Spending it on prostitutes,or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only Australian businesses still operating in Australia )
Conclusion:
Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage-sale and drink beer all day !


No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
#3870162
Lvl 30
AUSTRALIAN POLITICIANS FLIGHT BOOKINGS (OMG!!)
Have a good laugh before you CRY.
Notes by a Canberra airport ticket agent.
This is priceless funny stuff;
But alas, is only a small indication of how much trouble our country is in.
A Canberra airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble:


1. I had a politician Julie Bishop ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Queensland politician (Katter) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town .. I started to explain the length
of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town IS in
Queensland ....''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cooktown is in Qld, Capetown is in Africa.'' His response (?)


3. Senior Labour politician Kevin Rudd called, furious about a Florida package we did.
I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando ..
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!''


4. I got a call from a politicians wife Landra Reid who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
Could anyone be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED..
I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration.
Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.


More to come (when to hand!!)
#3870163
Lvl 30

5. Aide for a cabinet member Janet Napolitano once called and asked if she could rent a car in Sydney ..
I pulled up the reservation and noticed she had only a 1-hour layover in Sydney ..
When I asked her why she wanted to rent a car, she said,
''I heard Sydney was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.''


6. Independent (Wilkie) called last week. He needed to know how it was possible that his flight from Sydney left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Perth at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Sydney was three hours ahead of Perth , but he couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told him the plane went really fast, and he bought that.


7. Federal politician, (Joe Hockey) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag
So they know whose luggage belongs to whom?''
I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing).

I came back and explained the city code for Fraser Island is (FAT - Fraser Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
* This post has been modified : 13 years ago
#3870164
Lvl 30

8. Senator (Bronwyn Bishop) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii ..
After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''



9. I just got off the phone with a Labor politician, Peter Garrett who asked,
''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
''I was told my flight number is 823,
But none of these planes have that number on them.''


10. Peter Slipper, Queensland Snoozetician called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida ..
Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if he meant fly to Pensacola , Florida on a commuter plane.
He said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''


11. Mary Landrieu, Kevin Rudd's aide called and had a question about the documents she and her boss needed in order to fly to China ..
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa.
'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said,
''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. Prime Minister Julia Gillard called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied Ms Gillard.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
Julia said, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply?
''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
#3870165
Lvl 30

THE PM’S HOLLOW VICTORY:
Malaysia is neither a signatory to the Refugee Convention nor the UNHCR... and there is good reason why.
Malaysia’s record of human abuse rivals China’s. They sell refugee children into prostitution and slavery. When they can’t find buyers in those arenas they are sold to fishermen who can do with them what they will..
More than 100,000 Burmese (latterly Myanmar) refugees, mainly women and children, have fled to Malaysia, escaping decades of military abuse, only to find themselves in an equally parlous state.
Malaysia doesn’t recognise any asylum seeker as a refugee. They classify all as “illegal immigrants” allowing them no rights. Most exist in crowded pens and are afforded no medical assistance. Little wide eyed children are treated like vermin.
This is where your Prime Minister intends to send asylum seekers. This is what brought Joe Hockey to tears. This is what the ALP, and the ALP alone, believes is a decent solution.
Nauru processing would allow Australia to monitor and care for asylum seekers. Regardless of what Gillard says are “special arrangements” in Malaysia, children will not be treated humanely there. Gillard and Chris Bowen both know that.
It was easy for Bowen to negotiate his “deal” with Malaysia because they would love to rid themselves of their “illegal immigrants” and they would love to accept our buckets of borrowed money.
To even consider sending any person, let alone a child, there for processing is nothing short of criminal. The High Court thought the same.
If Gillard was the slightest bit concerned at current drownings she would not have conspired with simpleton Wilkie offering him a Malaysia sunset clause (12-month trial) as an amendment to Oakeshott’s Bill, to ensure her numbers. A sunset clause was available for Nauru but Abbott had no chance to offer it.
Gillard worked hard to get the Oakeshott Bill through the Lower House knowing full well it would never pass the Senate.
She thought it more important to disallow Abbott a nominal win than prevent hundreds more drowning. Gillard’s treachery is nothing short of breathtaking.
The LNP and the Greens are passionately against her Malaysian Solution... and so, justifiably, are many members of Gillard’s own party. That leaves a very thin minority of Parliamentarians that actually agree with Gillard’s disastrous ploy. But we have a very pig-headed woman for a Prime Minister.
Abbott made concessions, Gillard made none.
At 1:05 pm today Abbott called Gillard’s office to inform her of his intention to introduce a private members Bill encompassing all that Gillard wanted except, understandably, Malaysia.
She did not respond, but by 2pm she was in the House craving indulgence to reintroduce Oakeshott’s Bill which required only a third reading and which was essentially the same Malaysian Solution Gillard had proposed. Sleazy Albanese followed her, madly issuing instructions.
When Abbott tried to introduce the Bill he had properly given Gillard notice of, Albanese refused leave for him to do so. Gillard then moved for a third reading of Oakeshott’s Bill. It passed.
What a farce! There is no way in the World that Oakeshott’s Bill will pass the Senate tomorrow, the last sitting day before the winter recess. There was a good chance that Abbott’s Bill would have. So, without a sitting extension, we can sit back and watch hundreds more drown in exchange for Gillard having the satisfaction of sticking it up Abbott.

That strapon is certainly getting a workout.
#3870166
Lvl 30

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#3870167
Lvl 24
This was only mildly entertaining in spots...an' confoundly bewildering in many places...
Thus, I remain confused, but anticipate enlightenment at some point...but alas, not today...

Happy Birthday, America!
May GOD grace our Mother Earth with at least another 236 years of the most exceptional nation in the history of civilization on this planet...

Of course, this was not without worth...I finally learned what COTHF stands for...but I still don't know what IS a "hairy fraction"????????
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