How soon to start giving head?

Short version: In Europe and the US, how soon in a new relationship does the average girl start giving a guy head?

(If you are interested) Longer version:
I recently moved to the UK. I married my first serious boyfriend in South Africa 11 years ago when I was 19. I just got divorced from him. My move to Europe is part of making a new life.

When I was a teenager S Africa was v-e-r-y conservative about sex. Since I got to London and started dating I've been surprised (shocked might be a better word!) that men expect oral so early in a relationship. It took me a while to accept that if I want to play the dating game I'll have to play it under the modern rules not those I grew up with in SA in the 80s. I'm a competitive sort of girl so I'll do what it takes to keep up with the field.

I asked on of my friends about it. She says I shouldn't make this into a big deal. She says if I like a guy then at the first opportunity I should get down on my knees and 'show him some affection'. That's OK for her because she has probably been doing that since she was at school but I'm new to it. She just married an American guy who told her that when he was dating different girls if he hadn't cum in the girl's her mouth by the end of the third date, then she was too much trouble, there are plenty more fish so he'd throw her back in the lake for some other guy to try his luck with her. A real gentleman, huh? Or is he just bullshitting?

If I like a guy I want to give him a good time. I don't want to be so quick I look desperate, or so slow he thinks I'm the ice maiden.

So what do you think is normal?

Any advice (from men or women) appreciated. Thanks.

Just after you have said hello for the first time seems a good time for a BJ.......

So, i am saying "Hello katie_r"

Quote:

Originally posted by katie_r

She says if I like a guy then at the first opportunity I should get down on my knees and 'show him some affection'.

So, is that after a handshake? Or in lieu of one?
"Hello ma'am."
"G'day to you sir."
BOW-CHIKKA-WOW-WOW...

British porn must suck. It's all exotic and stuff... like just a video of people on their sixth date. None of that every day, random sex stuff... That's just so blase.
"Oh man, that's so hawt. They're discussing the Ashes!"

I'm not going to be any help in this. So to be honest, that whole thing sounds kind of weird.

In all honesty, do what you want to do. Some guys expect it, or more, on the first date. Others expect to wait for it. If you like the guy and things get heavy, have a good time. But don't do something you don't really want to. And a guy is a jerk about it, then he'll probably be that way forever.

Just my perspective.

Most guys would want it to be around the first hello. But if you are not going to continue doing it often then you better not set expectations too high.

in the UK if i receive a blow job on the first date i know there's a good chance i might see her again very soon. So yes very keen.

All depends on what you want out of the relationship

How long would it take before you'd want him to go down on you?

Day 1.

You can't put a time limit on it. Do whatever you're comfortable with. If a guy doesn't like that, are you really willing to continue dating him anyways?

I've always looked at the chicks that have fooled around with me on the first date or sooner as being easy enough that they won't be more a good time every now and then. There's nothing wrong with waiting until the second or third date, but I'll say I'd be getting a little bored if it took a whole lot longer.

I might be a pig, but whatever. Some guys don't mind waiting longer, and if it's that important to you, you can probably find one that shares your mindset.

You have the way you were brought up. There are many people that would respect that. I had a bad relationship when I was 20 and was kinda discouraged from sex, and still am to a point. So my current gf I've been with 4 years, we waited over a month before we had sex. It was a couple weeks before we did anything.

How fast as an american male would i want it, well before she said hello would be nice. .

But with a woman I want something more from, it really depends on the feeling. If I'm really digging a chick i will try and get it the first nioght, and some chicks I'm really digging on but I can tell that, that part of it is just not to that level yet so I don't mind waiting. But even if I want it, and she doesn't then if I like her i will wait. If he doesn't as you said there are plenty of fish on the see, blowfish, and otherwise. So it's about personal taste.

Reciprocity is the key to life. If you blow him, there should be some give back. I have fucked on the first date and had great relationships as a result. At age 45 you and I are part of a different generation. Young people today have rules very different than ours were when we were young. During the crescendo of the sexual revolution sex was very casual and social. You could actually have sex with a stranger with little to no consequences. Dating is different all over and the same too. Men always want sex and will trade for it. Women always want emotional security and will sex for it.

First, be honest with yourself. Are you looking for a relationship or a fuck buddy? You can do anything with a fuck buddy anytime with no strings. This however could lead to one of the most honest and open relationships you have ever had with a man.....

A boyfriend or love interest requires more than sex. It requires communication and sharing of common and seperate interests. For boyfrends sex is the culmination of a relationship. As you grow closer it is an expression of love and passion. For that, men a willing to wait a bit, but not too long.

There is a balancing act that must be made between wants and needs. Blowjobs for men are great. Even more so when the women that does it truly enjoys giving one. If you swallow, you will find an appreciative man on the other end. Spitting us out is the equivilent of rejection for some.
Do you enjoy sucking cock? What do you like? Do you enjoy oral sex for yourself? These are the questions you will have to ask yourself to decide what course to take.

The three date rule is still real however. Men want to know wheter ot not you're interested in them. Sex is an expression of interest. Wether you're giving head or more, he has to know you want more from him than dinner and drinks to hold his attention.

Men like women that like them....remember that.

First date if you like the guy.

Quote:

Originally posted by Punnani

Just after you have said hello for the first time seems a good time for a BJ.......

So, i am saying "Hello katie_r"

Actually, a girl giving head, should be how they say hello

27 minutes

Ugh. I had an awesome reply written.

The summary is:

Some guys want it faster and won't wait.
Some guys will wait and actually prefer a girl to be more selective.

But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what any given guy wants. Ultimately, you need to do what you are comfortable with.

When what you are comfortable with is what he is comfortable with, you'll have at least one piece of evidence that indicates you're on the same page.

If you make yourself uncomfortable for a guy early in a relationship, at some stage down the road he is probably going to put too much strain on you (and vice versa). So do what you want to do and do it when you want to do it. When you find a guy who likes what you do and likes when you do it, life will be that much easier.

Do what you're comfortable with.

Each guy has their own preferences and sure, those matter. They need to be with someone who shares their preferences.

This is true for you as well.

I agree with the guys who say do it when your most comfortable. But if not head, atleast give him a hand job by the 3rd or 4th date.

your high dudette(?)

I had chicks from East Germany sucking my cock the first night i met them before the fucking wall came down.

It depends entirely on how much he looks like me. Here is a scale I just invented

Time - looks like me.

Long - short.

So you see, if he looks like me, you should have been blowing him before you even knew he existed. I've got a spare flux capacitor you can use to rectify this problem. Speaking of which, I just came back from the future, and your doctor told me you haven't been eating anywhere near enough semen.

Man, what a lucky coincidence. See you last Thursday baby.



I have no idea what I just said.