Honda vs Fatty...Tales from the Spam. (not the spam thread)

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

So..anyone up for a Honda story?


Okay well I'm at work today right..and I'm boxing the popsicles and shit, which is pretty sweet work..you just kinda chill and load a box with popsicles. So anyway the box thing jammed..which was fucking lame, because boxes started falling all over the place and I didn't notice becuase I was too busy imagining myself in 2 months 2 weeks when I can get my fucking wisdom teeth out and quit this job. So I'm stacking boxes and this fat bitch comes outta nowhere (oddly the building didn't shake, good foundation I suppose)..and starts yelling at me about it. Here's how the conversation broke down:

Fat bitch: BLAH BLAH BLAH...PAY FUCKING ATTENTION, WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR EXCUSE?!!?@!?@!?@1

Honda: I've been here 10 days?

Fat bitch: SO, DOES IT TAKE A WHOLE LOT OF TRAINING TO SEE SHIT ALL OVER THE FLOOR?

Honda: Dude, they're fucking popsicles...you're not my boss, nobody told me to watch the machine..calm down.

Fat bitch: COMMON SENSE, IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THIS SIMPLE?!!?

(when I got mad, mainly because it was 6 mother fucking AM)

Honda: Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house, or do you just throw on any old tarp laying around? It's hard to take you seriously when in the brake room you look like a less attractive version of Peter Griffen. Then on top of it all you go and get a job in an ice cream factory, and then you have the balls to give me a lecture on fucking common sense? Save it.

Fat bitch: RANDOM SCREAMING, MORE SCREAMING...(dies a little inside)..SCREAMS MORE

Leadhand: What did she say to you Honda?

Honda: I dunno, I heard "blah blah blah MOOOOOO"

Fat bitch: I want him fired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(angry feminist)!!!!!!

Amy: I would have said the same thing if you had came over and started giving me shit like that..

Leadhand: Exactly.

Fat bitch: *goes on break...likely cries her way through a bucket of ice cream*

Honda: *wins*


Bitch has been there 3 weeks longer than I have...and has the balls to give me shit, I'm lucky everyone likes me..and hates her..because I was sure I would be fired.

The rest of the day when she came to rotate me off fast pack, I would fuck my line up just to piss her off too...fucking people.

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

What a shitty day.

Honda VS fatty...ROUND 2.

So I'm in the lunch room, minding my own business..eating a free ice cream, and drinking an iced tea..and suddenly I hear a chair pull up...It's fatty. Conversation:

Fatty: Sitting alone I see?

Honda: I was reading..do I need an audience?

Fatty: Just proves you're a loser.

Honda: Yeah, the only other person in here is also sitting alone...he's is probably making fun of me under his breath..

Honda: Anyway, it's 12:30..shouldn't you be at seaworld amusing tourists by now?

Fatty: You're a smart ass..and I don't like disrespectful fucks like you..

Honda: Really? I thought we were becoming friends. (sarcasm)

Fatty: Far from it..(doesn't notice sarcasm, is fat)

Honda: Can I help you with something..perhaps the location of a bucket of krill?

Fatty: Kill who?

Honda:...

Honda: Can you go be fat somewhere else? (to be honest I stole that line from a picture)

Fatty: Can I ask you a question?

Honda: Yes, I am going to eat the rest of this.

Fatty: Listen asshole, I told my boyfriend all about yesterday...he said hes going to kick your ass.

Honda: In a pie eating contest?

Fatty: My boyfriend will beat the fucking shit out of you..

Honda: Luckily your boyfriend is most likely a picture of Johnny Depp and a turkey baster.

Fatty: Keep talking, I'm telling him all about this..and one day you'll be walking down the street and hes going to see you, and fuck up your shit.

Honda: Does he work here?

Fatty: No..

Honda: Then how the fuck does this fatshit even know what I look like?

Fatty: He doesn't..

Honda: I see a flaw in your plan.

Fatty: Scared?

Honda: Yeah, I don't wanna break my hand again on some fatdouche...

Fatty: He's black..and he'll kick your ass.

Honda: It's winter, I'll see him coming. *laughs at own joke*..(hopefully nobody found that offensive)

Fatty: I gotta go back to work, I'm glad that we've had this little chat...

Honda: Did you know you sweat while you sit?

Fatty: Just remember, embarrass me again..and you know what will happen.

Honda: No, please tell me?

Fatty: *storms off..*

Oh well, it seems it's "on"..I asked around the factory and everyone says she doesn't even have a boyfriend. People are so fucking lame...seriously, was that supposed to scare me or something...any decent dude wouldn't be associated with a cow of this magnitude..so either she's completely bluffing..or I'm going to have to beat up some dude for no reason. People are stupid, it is creating some minor lulz though, by the end of the conversation the other dude in the room was laughing pretty hard at our conversation...but considering how stupid this bitch is, she probably thinks I'm scared or some shit.

I'll let you guys know if anything lulzy happens tomorrow, in fact...I'll make a thread about it. Mainly because just as I was leaving work..she was walking past me when I was getting some water out of the cooler...and I started shaking around like the ground was moving..so I got some more people laughing at her. Sadly I worry if I don't cut this shit out the wrong person is going to hear this shit and get me fired..(other fat feminists, we have many it seems)

Quote:

Originally posted by Demonicmale

Anyone want to take bets on how long it takes Honda to become attracted to this girl and start dating her

Quote:

Originally posted by DaveWa

I don't know Honda, this sounds a little contrived and more like written dialog than a conversation. I'm calling bullshit.

Quote:

Originally posted by FeFeHumHum

honda and i speak on the phone on a regular basis

Quote:

Originally posted by Vesuvius

...

Why you call him and not me?

Quote:

Originally posted by DaveWa

I don't know Honda, this sounds a little contrived and more like written dialog than a conversation. I'm calling bullshit.

Quote:

Originally posted by DaveWa

I don't know Honda, this sounds a little contrived and more like written dialog than a conversation. I'm calling bullshit.

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

(fatty was absent today)

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

...

If I had any idea who you were, I might take offense to you calling me a liar..