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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
I have seen the past, present and future of music..., March 18, 2005
Reviewer: Awed (England) - See all my reviews
...and it's name is David Hosslehaff.
Containing literally 18 of the most important works of art of the last century, this is more than just another CD; It's an aural sculpture, more exciting than Elvis in 56, more influential than the Velvet Underground, with more melodies than the Beatles, more attitude than the Pistols, and a voice... Oh that voice...a voice that makes it feel like the speakers are making love to your ears. And not just any old 'making love' either. No this voice will take you to dinner, caress you, kiss you, look into your eyes and make you feel like the most special person in the world. And afterwards, well that voice is gonna take you to heaven and keep you there. I think you know what I mean...
You must own this CD. It's a simple as that. Your life will never be the same again. Don't worry about the cost, because once you've heard this opus, you will be able to sell all those second-rate CDs that are mere drinks-mats when placed next to the Hoffmeister's canon. It could cost you dollars now but your life is empty and loveless without this music. What are mere dollars compared with a lifetime of sheer bliss, knowing that The Voice is always within reach?
Go on, you deserve this. Your ears will be forever grateful to you, and this is music that appeals to the head, the heart and the hips, so the rest of your body will like it as well.
Just one complaint. Why has nobody mentioned 'Hot Shot City'? Picking highlights from this collection is like trying to find exactly which grain of sand is the smallest on a beach and pick it up (while wearing oven gloves) but surely 'City' as I like to call it, has got to be a contender for the brightest star in a galaxy of superb supernovas.
Thank you David Hosslepants for making my life complete.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
Peachy Keen!, March 14, 2005
Reviewer: Chronicles of Hernia - See all my reviews
Why do we buy iPods? Why do we listen to the radio while driving to work? The answers, my friends, lies between a customized Trans Am and a bodyguard chair. The reason we listen to music at all is because of one David Hobbittrunks.
David turned his hairy back on a brilliant acting career to pursue his true love, the music industry. Like a muscular Chilli Palmer, he dove into "the biz" a novice and became one of the big fish, squeezing out hit after hit, taking a big hit every forty five minutes. His 45 albums are a testament to how many trips he took into the booth.
He collected his 18 favorite outputs and slathered them onto disk. The resulting musical cowpie tempts the nostrils and challenges the lower intestine. Songs like "Do the Limbo Dance," "Looking For Freedom" and "Freedom For the World" swirl above your upper lip like flies at a fish market. And we all swoon.
Bouncing ditties like "Du," "I Believe," and "Crazy For You" thrust themselves at you and push your face into them. And to think, you're being smothered by a man! You're being seduced, captivated, rutted, and spent by a man with a perm! And loving it, you musical perv!
But the song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
Good good stuff, March 13, 2005
Reviewer: Captain's Log "Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk!" (NCC-1701) - See all my reviews
There's music that makes you think. There's music that makes you cry. And then there's music that makes you both vomit a little in your mouth and float a log in your shorts. David Hopperchunk is a maker of this third kind of music.
Throughout his spectacular career he has dabbled in everything from the eastern sounds of the sitar to the throat-singing of the Inuits. This is the first CD that chronicles this amazing musical journey. This album is like a global journey through horrific music.
Witness the gargling cheek farts of the pygmies in "Freedom For the Nuts." The impressive rolling 'r's in "Dance Danice D'Amourrrrrrr." The louder gargling cheek farts in "Crazy For You." All accompanied by David H's irreplaceable voice- a voice that some have compared to an eight-sea lion love train.
But I am most impressed by the glockenspiel and beatboxing on "Hot Shot City." That song is particularly good.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
Hass'll Hoff Your Pants Off!, March 12, 2005
Reviewer: Kat Cherpes "winky" (winky) - See all my reviews
At last, music's finest offerings have been collected into one compact, throwable disk. A spinnable, flingable museum of pop culture's most beauteous tunes. Thanks to the new, amazing "CD" technology, over 75 minutes of your favorite ballads, anthems and love songs have been culled and brought to you on this single flick-able album.
And not one, not two, but 18 tracks are all from the master of music himself, David Hummenchantz. But this is no coincidence- his unshaven body of work is legendary. Everyone with at least one ear has heard of "Dance Dance D'Amour" or "Believe." So many of his chart-topping hits have topped the charts.
But put together, these songs form a potent suppository of melodic umph. The effect of hearing 18 straight tracks of David's voice- a voice that many listeners have compared to an aroused donkey mounting a Volkswagen- is almost too much to bear. There are reports of some listeners ending their lives before the third track.
So listen to "Hot Shot City" before sticking your head in an oven. That song is particularly good.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
There was a time when i believed in Christ. , March 9, 2005
Reviewer: steve austin "ssfd" (australia) - See all my reviews
And now, there is Dave.
It's not everyday you stumble across brilliant talent that Senior Hasselhoh has to offer. This record is a must. In fact, i want to be buried with it so that i can take it with me to the heavens when i pass on.
After listening to the song "Hot Shot City" which might i add is a particularly good song, I had realised that i had found the most inspirational and influential music of the 40th Century.
I wanted the best, I found the best.
My world has forever been changed.
And forever I can rest.
For all this time I thought i was lost.
I found the magic of THE HOFF.
* This post has been modified
: 20 years ago
