getting back with your ex.

so, you and your gal/boy break up for whatever reason: sick of each other, want to fuck other people, want some alone time, other priorities, the list goes on...

both getting on with respective lives you two have not talked for awhile since.

out of the blue you start some chit chat. nothing big, just seeing how each is doing. the dialogue continues and it seems the friendship rekindles.

so, a question for those on here:

have you got back with an ex?

how is it the 2nd time around? successful or not?

are there things the 1st time you learned that have better prepared you this time around?

are you setting yourself up for failure! it didn't work the 1st time so why should it be any different now? there's plenty of other woman out there why bother with her, again?

opinions/comments.

No I've never done it, It's a waste of time. And if you do hook up it'll be short lived unless the reason is good. But I suggest just being Friends with benefits with an ex. A relationship is doomed to failure.

I've done it twice (two different girls). The first time we stayed together for about another year, but the relationship pretty much ended the same way it did the first time.

The second time was with a girl I had dated for a long time, but hadn't seen in years since the break up. We kind of ran into each other and got to talking which eventually lead to a friends with benefits type of situation, but alas after a couple of months things blew apart again.

So, IMO if this is something you are thinking about doing I would advise against it. Think long and hard about getting back in a realtionship that already ended in failure once.

Quote:

Originally posted by Red-X

No I've never done it, It's a waste of time. And if you do hook up it'll be short lived unless the reason is good. But I suggest just being Friends with benefits with an ex. A relationship is doomed to failure.

agreed here friends with benefits at the most in fact im doing that now but i wouldnt have a relationship with her again

I would say it depends on the reason for the failure the first time.

That being said, in most instances, it's a waste of time and emotion.

Quote:

Originally posted by EricLindros

I would say it depends on the reason for the failure the first time.

yes. i agree with this.

iv only gotten back together with an ex once and it didn't work out again....but now theres another ex i really want to go out with again but shes got some new boyfriend who can totally kick my ass

i've done it a few times, it never works. I think you bring too much baggage from the first time in together.

That being said, some of my friends have done it, with varying degrees of success. I Don't think I'd ever do it again.

apparently once a girl gets tired of me they stay tired of me, because i have never had a girl want to get back with me, although i wouldn't anyway, because i have all i need in my current girlfriend

Almost all my exes want to get back with me after a while. I get stale, I suppose, but then they realize they have trouble doing much better.

Or at least that's what I tell myself.

i'm trying it right now...I'll let you know how it goes...


but so far, I'd say it's a very very bad idea!

Quote:

Originally posted by Síkon.

i'm trying it right now...I'll let you know how it goes...


but so far, I'd say it's a very very bad idea!

was it an amiciable break-up the 1st time or the shit-storm of the century?

can i ask why you two are together if now you say it's a bad idea?

the first time she was hanging out with this guy...didn't know if she liked him or not, so we broke it off so she could figure it out.......then we got back together cause she figured out that she wanted to be with me, loved me, etc etc...

now she feels that she's too dependent on me and she wants to do some growing up/being independent before settling down into a really serious relationship (like we were before)


so yea.....basically it's all just a huge mind-fuck

Quote:

Originally posted by Síkon.

the first time she was hanging out with this guy...didn't know if she liked him or not, so we broke it off so she could figure it out.......then we got back together cause she figured out that she wanted to be with me, loved me, etc etc...

now she feels that she's too dependent on me and she wants to do some growing up/being independent before settling down into a really serious relationship (like we were before)


so yea.....basically it's all just a huge mind-fuck

fuck, dude!

in that case get the fuck outta there.

you have to ask yourself if she is ever going to be happy. it seems she may not be and you sir are certainly not, always going to be wondering.

i had a friend who's boy did exactly that. he didn't know what he wanted so broke it off with her. she was a complete mess. he did what he said he needed to do- you know, see more of the world, date others, figure stuff out- and suprised us all by wooing her back and now they live happily ever after.

ah, this reminds me of some good ol' country lyrics:

Artist/Band: Evans Sara
Lyrics for Song: I Keep Looking
Lyrics for Album: Born To Fly

----
Back when I was young
Couldn't wait to grow up
Get away and get out on my own
And looking back now
Ain't it funny how
I've been trying to get back home, yeah

When my low self esteem
Needs a man loving me
And I find me a perfect catch
Then I see my friends
Having wild weekends
Then I don't wanna get quite so attached
Just as soon as I get what I want
I get unsatisfied
Good is good but could be better

I keep looking, I keep looking for
I keep looking for something more
I always wonder what's on the other side
Of the number two door
I keep looking
Looking for something more

Well, the straight haired girls
They all want curls
And the brunettes wanna be blonde
It's your typical thing
You got ying you want yang
It just goes on and on
They say, hey, it's only human
To never be satisfied
Well I guess that I'm as human as the next one

Oh, I keep looking
I keep looking for
I keep looking for something more
I always wonder what's on the other side
Of the number two door
Yeah, I keep looking
Looking for something more

Just as soon as I get what I want
I get unsatisfied
Hey, good is good but could be better

I keep looking
I keep looking for
I keep looking for something more
I always wonder what's on the other side
Of the number two door
I keep looking
Looking for something more
Oh, looking for something more
----

damn, yea that song is pretty much her....


So any advice on how to make a clean break and get away? cause I can't seem to do that at all........

Quote:

Originally posted by Síkon.

now she feels that she's too dependent on me and she wants to do some growing up/being independent before settling down into a really serious relationship (like we were before)

damn dude...maybe try and step back abit....and rethink it all
sounds to me like she is trying real hard to stop shit whenever she 'feels' like things
need sorting out




me...ive only tried once, didnt work...after that never again
didnt see the point in it or the drama...so when broken off, i ended all ties
and contact with the girl.

Quote:

Originally posted by Síkon.

damn, yea that song is pretty much her....


So any advice on how to make a clean break and get away? cause I can't seem to do that at all........

explain to her...that she obviously has alot more growing up to do
and you cant put your life/happiness on hold while she catches up..

honesty is the only way, might hurt like a bitch....but youll be happier in the long run.






edit: my opinion only..

Quote:

Originally posted by Síkon.

damn, yea that song is pretty much her....


So any advice on how to make a clean break and get away? cause I can't seem to do that at all........

nah, sorry, mate. i can't.

if she's just "mind fucking" you, just end it and move on. easier said then done, though.

is she good in the sack?

Quote:

Originally posted by Latino

[reply=Síkon.]
damn, yea that song is pretty much her....


So any advice on how to make a clean break and get away? cause I can't seem to do that at all........

explain to her...that she obviously has alot more growing up to do
and you cant put your life/happiness on hold while she catches up..

honesty is the only way, might hurt like a bitch....but youll be happier in the long run.






edit: my opinion only..
[/reply]

that's the main problem, i always feel like i can put my life on hold for her...and then when i stop to think about it, that seems really, really stupid of me

but then, I can't shake that...

So, i need a way to tell myself that I need to move on, and i need a way to tell her that i move on

that's a lot of work!

Quote:

Originally posted by Síkon.

[reply=Latino]
[reply=Síkon.]
damn, yea that song is pretty much her....


So any advice on how to make a clean break and get away? cause I can't seem to do that at all........

explain to her...that she obviously has alot more growing up to do
and you cant put your life/happiness on hold while she catches up..

honesty is the only way, might hurt like a bitch....but youll be happier in the long run.






edit: my opinion only..
[/reply]

that's the main problem, i always feel like i can put my life on hold for her...and then when i stop to think about it, that seems really, really stupid of me

but then, I can't shake that...

So, i need a way to tell myself that I need to move on, and i need a way to tell her that i move on

that's a lot of work!
[/reply]

it's not stupid at all. especially somebody you love. however she's playing with your emotions by doing what she is doing and that's not fair to you.

it's good that you realise this.

that's the 1st step.