Everyone has an opinion...what's yours?

Here's a hypothetical situation. Say I was married to someone 8 years younger than I and we had a baby. A couple of years go by and I've taken on a second job since the baby's birth to make ends meat. Let's say that over time working 7 days a week has run me into the ground and has put distance between the wifey and I. Now sex doesn't even cross my mind and maybe I'm not attracted to her like I was and bills and work and everything in the universe is on my mind. So lets say that the weight of the world has brought me down and totally changed the marital relationship. Lets say that now she wants a divorce because she's not happy and we never see each other and I don't do things the way I used to or I don't treat her the same way as I used to. What would the people at WBW do I asked myself one night, so here it is. What's your interesting take and opinion on this hypothetical situation? Let me have it!!!!!!!!

Look for a higher paying job, and try to work things out.

try and reduce your spendings, find a higher paying job and spend time with your wife and your child

Unfortunately Loz a lot of "adults" just simply put things in priority. Not saying our friend here is one of them, but I see people drive down campus and they have rusted out cars, none of the doors match, but they have the money to spend 20" chrome rims with spinning shit on them.

Hypothetically, I would consider that my "hard work" may be destroying what is most valuable in my world. I would feel pride for my since of responsibility to selflessly do what it takes to provide for my family, buy I would also use the situation to open my eyes and my heart to the fact that if I am withdrawn emotionally from my family I am depriving them of what is most important thus negating all of my hard work.

My father worked very hard. Lots of hours and lots of days. But he was always engaged with his family and a great father and husband emotionally. He taught me not only a great work ethic but the responsibility a father and husband has to his family as a leader.

Hypothetically, I would suggest that you strengthen your resolve and realize that you are freely admitting that your family is falling apart because you are not plugged in to their emotional needs.

Hypothetically, you heart isn't right. Get it right and you will realize all of the beauty that you have been missing. Regardless of the hours that you work.

I did the same thing myself for sometime. it did not lead to anything other than spending more and not getting along. So i got a better job and spent more time at home. Question of the day is why cant she work to help out????

Quote:

Originally posted by Kanzen

Unfortunately Loz a lot of "adults" just simply put things in priority. Not saying our friend here is one of them, but I see people drive down campus and they have rusted out cars, none of the doors match, but they have the money to spend 20" chrome rims with spinning shit on them.

thats true

My 2 pennorth....

Drop the "hypothetical" and talk WITH her (not TO or AT her), no blame games or owt - talk. See where you both can adjust or understand each other.

Best wishes to you both.

Know this: No one has ever gone to their grave thinking you know I should have spent more time at work.

Cut some spending, play with the kid more, fuck the wife more (whether you want to or not), take things
less seriously and remember taking a day off once and awhile never hurt anyone.

too many words.


especially ones all in caps

We do not tolerate that kind of references towards women JDBalls, being a sponsor does not make you exempt to our rules.

As people go through life, external forces upon them cause them to change.

If you and she had been closer you would have changed together, at the same rate, and in the same direction. But that hasn't happened.

Your separation has now diminished those things that brought you together.

Doubtful, now that you are two entirely different people, that you can find the spark that ignited your attraction and romance.

Long before the influence of media, and before the government put their hand in your pocket and forced you and your wife into an economic slavery, married couples could have the wife stay home and learn about the world from her husband when he came home from work. Couples stayed married then. Not today. Divorce is inevitable. The govenment has made it so.

You are, like millions of others, stuck! Get out the best way you can.

Actually I thought I was the voice of reason. Sorry about the caps, it was just on and I used it. There is nothing fair about divorce and the court system in the US of A. Do you know that if a married woman has a child by a man other than her husband, her husband has to pay child support? By the way, whatever happened to free exchange of ideas here?

Maybe you should quit your second job and have her find a job that balances out yours that way you both take care of the kids and both get out of the house. Cut all unneeded spending like said before. Find someone (family, friend, anyone) to watch your kid so you and wife can go out on dates (even if its fast food and a bang in the backseat). Also, you need to realize it will take time to repair your marriage. It won't change overnight.

There is free exchange, but not if you're going to be rude or obstinent about it. Regardless of your feelings on the subject, it does not allow you to call women out of name here.

Quote:

Originally posted by Seryano

You are, like millions of others, stuck! Get out the best way you can.

^^Ignore that piece of foolishness!

If you have a child together, then your life, and your spouse's, is no longer your own. There's much more at stake than your own selfish wants and desires, you need to do what it takes to provide a healthy environment for you kid. Unless you or your spouse is abusive, an addict, or incapable of acting mature enough to be a parent, this means having a household with both a mother and father figure. So the thing to do is grow the fuck up, and figure out how to live together. Maybe this means working less to spend more time at home, while sacrificing some income. Or trying to find a better job. Or may the spouse needs to work, if she doesn't now.

No one has it easy, we've all got problems, either monetary, or relationship, or psychological, or whatever. Don't make your solution become your child's, (and society's) problem.

Quote:

Originally posted by jdballs

Actually I thought I was the voice of reason. Sorry about the caps, it was just on and I used it. There is nothing fair about divorce and the court system in the US of A. Do you know that if a married woman has a child by a man other than her husband, her husband has to pay child support? By the way, whatever happened to free exchange of ideas here?

That's bullshit. All you have to do is get a dna test to disprove the child is yours. A friend of mine had to do that when his ex sued him for child support. He had secretly had his nuts cut when the marriage went bad to avoid any pregancies (he had decided long ago that he didn't want kids.). So , he knew the kid wasn't his.

Quote:

Originally posted by phredbull

[reply=Seryano]
You are, like millions of others, stuck! Get out the best way you can.

^^Ignore that piece of foolishness!

If you have a child together, then your life, and your spouse's, is no longer your own. There's much more at stake than your own selfish wants and desires, you need to do what it takes to provide a healthy environment for you kid. Unless you or your spouse is abusive, an addict, or incapable of acting mature enough to be a parent, this means having a household with both a mother and father figure. So the thing to do is grow the fuck up, and figure out how to live together. Maybe this means working less to spend more time at home, while sacrificing some income. Or trying to find a better job. Or may the spouse needs to work, if she doesn't now.

No one has it easy, we've all got problems, either monetary, or relationship, or psychological, or whatever. Don't make your solution become your child's, (and society's) problem.
[/reply]


very well put
im getting tired of hearing so many people badmouhth marriage and the thought that noones marriage lasts....its getting pretty damn old

Kanzan
As life goes on you will realize the inequities in life. As I say, "If women wanted equal rights, they would have to give some up!" And it's not their fault. It's the laws of the land. Totally inequitable. And mostly made by men! But the poor fellow who started this thread is as naive as you. Men have no power in this theatre. I love and respect all women, but the pendulum of social equity has swung far beyond fairness, as you will learn.

Dagnabbit
It is NOT bullshit. Only 17 states have the rule that DNA can absolve a father's resposibility for a child born of a married couple. The criteria is only what is best for the child. In essence, you've been fucked on and fucked over.