16 and Pregnant is Fucking Hilarious.

Due to unfortunate circumstances in my life recently, I've found myself watching a show called "16 and Pregnant"..some of you may have heard of it, others will be furrowing their brows in confusion wondering what this show could possibly be about.



Dumb ass teenagers getting pregnant. I was going to say "preggers" but whenever anyone says "preggers" in real life, I kinda wanna push them off a building, whilst pretending I'm John McClane in the first Die Hard...the one with that guy who plays "Snape" in Harry Potter...I think his name is Alan Rickman, either way, it's a fucking sweet movie you should watch more often.

Where was I?

Dumb chicks who get pregnant...

I DO NOT FIND TEEN PREGNANCY FUNNY.

A lot of you....with vaginas will be all "teen pregnancy is a serious problem, be more serious, and cut your hair....rebel."

I agree with you, teen pregnancy isn't funny, unless it happens to someone you know that totally deserves it for being a jackass. Looking at you..people who practice the rhythm method.

Okay, for those of your who have seen this show, and lol'd at it...you're already in the know, so most of this is directed at people who are all "MTV?!...*rage eyebrows*" I know where you're coming from, MTV is quite possibly the worst channel ever, considering it plays maybe four minutes of music per week. But, what they have decided to do, rather than playing awful music a lot, is exploit stupid teenagers.

The concept isn't funny. I didn't think "oh, pregnant teens...that's gonna be HI-larious" but, in watching it I've come to realize it's about the funniest god damn show on television. I'll give you some example of the majority of episodes.

"It wont change my life..."

This phrase is spoken almost every episode, after the teen talks about how average she is, and like everyone else she is, and then is all "lol, but im pregnant..."

These kids honestly, genuinely think having a fucking child will be like owning a kitten. They talk about college, they talk about prom..and their social life, and how everything will remain the same, which actually sets it up to be MUCH funnier in end of the episode..but more on that later. Funfact: The girls ususally have this cocky little smile on their face, like they know more about life than..their parents/grand parents/friends/teachers....the world.

My boyfriend and I love each other

Oh man, yeah, if there's one thing teenage boys are excellent at, it's responsibility, they're all about sideways hats and providing for families.

The men on this show are fucking awful. I mean..you have to be either stupid, or a scumbag to knock up a 16 year old chick, and honestly, they are for the most part, the worst example of men ever. Almost every single episode ends with the couple breaking up, mainly becuase they're little kids making a MASSIVE life decision. It's always so awesome, in one of the most recent episodes I watched, the dude was cheating on her..while she was in labor...WHAT?! I know right, I had to wipe the tears from my eyes it was so hilarious. Man, the guys almost always cheat...it almost never works out, it's the bestest.

Will giving birth hurt?

These girls have no idea what they're in store for, it's cute...it's like, a rare innocence you don't see in most circumstances anymore. Because giving birth is so hyped up to hurt, when their friends and mothers are telling them how bad it is, you can kinda tell they're only half listening, "yeah yeah..pregnancy hurts..*text message*" while rolling their eyes. So, when the pregnancy comes, they're fucking overwhelmed by the intense pain. It's fucking hysterical watching life just dick slapping the shit out of someone whose biggest concern in life should have been staying fit and pretty...since that's what all girls strive to achieve.

Sidenote: Babies are fucking gross when they're born. What the fuck...the dads kiss them and the moms hold them, they look like a pug dipped in ooze. It's fucking gross. Plus they're all purple and shit...yuck.

I can do it without him! / My parents!

In some cases, it's the boyfriend, in other cases, it's the parents.....but in 90% of cases, it's hilarious.

Babies are extremely fucking expensive apparently. Also, time consuming, as most of us past 20 have realized, once you have a kid, shit is fucking over...that's all your time. So these girls, who probably recently watch some BS chick comedy where the main character probably fucking Jennifer Lopez/Aniston where they think they can do this by themselves after their boyfriend leaves, or their parents go back to work. Step one is always drop out of school, the majority don't even try to act like they're going to go back. They spend weeks/months trying to raise a baby on their own, but unfortunately Twilight doesn't teach you anything worth knowing about raising children, it does teach you a lot about how unfair the world is, where people who write stupid bullshit are rich, and my stupid bullshit goes unpaid. Anyway...

I fucked up I don't regret it, but it has been hard.

Most teen moms realize that their kids might see this one day, so they don't want to flat out say "I fucked up so bad, and I regret it with every fiber of my being"..so they just kinda look into the camera with the sad eyes of a defeated person (see: Britney Spears after 2007...no really..look into her eyes, the sadness is indescribable)...and they go on about how hard it is, and how they miss being regular teenagers, they miss friends, and school and you know, enjoying life...now that they've gone basically from being a student directly into being a fucking business time adult...missing out on college, and a lot of what comes with growing up, most notably, maturing. They're kids raising kids..they're a demographic, and now..in some cases I'm sure it works out, but in most cases, I'm sure it's a struggle...but in all cases, it's fucking hilarious to watch.

Note: They have a show after each season, it's called "Teen Mom" and it follows a select few longer than the "16 and Pregnant" does..it's kinda less funny, and more sad..since the show is mostly funny in the same sense that laughing at your friend who drunkenly fell into the fire while trying to jump over it is funny. Jackasses who ask for trouble, then find it...are hilarious. Everyone said "don't" but some people have to learn the hard way, and that shit is hilarious. In Teen Mom you kinda get into their lives and just feel bad for them overall since you get to know them a little, which is a bummer, plus you're more aware that these teens will probably end up getting paid a solid amount of money for being in an actual TV show, which makes it even less funny.

Anyway, if you haven't given this show a brief watch, you should give it a chance, it's usually a solid comedy.

I have never seen this show you speak of.

I was probably washing my hair when it came on.

I will make a note to try to watch an episode or two if I get the chance.

Thank you for this kind reminder, sir.

This is like, 44% longer than I had assumed it would be.

The Hondawg is BACK

I'd five you, but I don't do that. How about a fist bump

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

This is like, 44% longer than I had assumed it would be.

That's what she said.

Quote:

Originally posted by Notech

The Hondawg is BACK

I'd five you, but I don't do that. How about a fist bump

For chaps who didn't catch that reference...

http://whatboyswant.com/forum_read/4822465/1/10/The_Evolution_of_Stupid_Fucking_Handshakes.html

I guess if I'm going to hang with the big dogs I need more sleep....

Night All

Slacker.

There was a news article about a week back that said people who watched this ended up being more pro-choice. So maybe it does serve a purpose

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

Babies are extremely fucking expensive apparently. Also, time consuming, as most of us past 20 have realized, once you have a kid, shit is fucking over...that's all your time. So these girls, who probably recently watch some BS chick comedy where the main character probably fucking Jennifer Lopez/Aniston where they think they can do this by themselves after their boyfriend leaves, or their parents go back to work. Step one is always drop out of school, the majority don't even try to act like they're going to go back. They spend weeks/months trying to raise a baby on their own, but unfortunately Twilight doesn't teach you anything worth knowing about raising children, it does teach you a lot about how unfair the world is, where people who write stupid bullshit are rich, and my stupid bullshit goes unpaid. Anyway...

So you're saying you had a baby a few months ago?



Anyway, yeah, rereading that is kind of hilarious. Like, I've known chicks like this. That reminds me of a story...

So, a long time ago, in a city far far away from where you are, I worked in a rather large building. Being as large as it was, it had lots of employees, some of whom were hot, some ugly, some old, some young. So, being the 22-ish year old dude I was at the time, I spent a good portion of my day scoping out the premise for any hot chick who might be worth putting in a solid five minutes of trying to hook up with. I was not alone in this endeavor. One of my buddies who I had known since basically elementary school also worked there, and was of the same mindset, so in our spare time (or our working time that we would just wander off from) we would wander the campus/building checking out the scenery.

We would inevitably come across a hot chick here and there, and so in our conversations, we sort of assigned these chicks nicknames. For example, the one girl who worked in the cafeteria was known as "Chicken Tits" because, well, she had very large breasts and we first talked to her on a day they were serving chicken fingers. There were other chicks who had other varying humorous nicknames, most of which would require some explanation for you to understand the inside joke.

Anyway, that brings me to one of the girls, and the reason I brought up this story. At the time, there was a girl who worked in the housekeeping department who was extraordinarily cute. She had almost an angelic face, was quite short, was half white, half Puerto Rican, with a very nice body and a very cute, fun personality. The problem was, this girl was, at the time we first met her, 16. Problematic to say the least. So, of course she ended up with a nickname: "LeBron." You see, this was just about the same time LeBron James was drafted straight from high-school into the NBA, thus going straight to the pros upon graduation...which is why we gave this girl that nickname, because it was obvious she was so hot that she was going to go straight from high-school to the pros as well.

I know you're now asking yourself, "That's all well and good, but how does this relate to what Honda's talking about here?" Well, here's how. About a year and a half or so later, as it gets closer to draft day (her 18th bday), I'm talking to LeBron as we walk through the building to somewhere or another, and just BSing or whatever, and somehow the subject of hoochies at her school or whatever comes up, and she starts telling me all about these chicks she goes to high school with, who are fucking all these dudes and getting knocked up and how awful it is. So I'm there listening, and I"m thinking this chick has a decent head on her shoulders...that this might actually be kind of cool to pursue when she graduates. I was wrong. She continues; "See, they're dumb, they get all pregnant with no job and they're just whores. At least I have a good job, so it'd be ok if I had a baby, not like those hoochies with no jobs."

From my standpoint, we just ran into two major problems here. First, any girl who, at age 17, says, "It'd be ok if I had a baby" should throw off all kinds of warning bells to a guy in his late teens, early twenties (And older than that too, but if you're having that kind of conversation when you're much older, you're kind of being a creeper, and might want to look into that first). It means that she's at least thought about it, is ok with it, and it probably means that she's going to discourage condom use, which is just asking for the kind of baby trouble outlined above. The second problem, and this was also kind of a big deal, is that she just said that she had a "good job." I mentioned previously that she was working in housekeeping. For something like 7-8 dollars an hour. Now, no disrespect to any of you fine people who might work in the custodial arts, but that's not a good job, and that $16,000 a year is not enough to raise kids on, yo. WTFisUthinkin?!

After I relayed this story to my buddy, it was like, "Eh...wtf." To go back to the sports analogy, it was as if we had just watched our star prospect blow out a knee right before the draft. Still full of potential, but just picked up a HUGE risk. And, of course, like a few months later she gets all knocked up by some dude and shits out a kid, then another by another father about a year after that. By that time, we knew our draft pick had gone to shit. After she got knocked up that first time, as she's waddling around the halls with a huge distended preggo belly, we had watched LeBron turn into Ryan Leaf before our eyes. And so, from that moment forward, "LeBron" became "Ryan Leaf" - a top ranked pick coming out of school who became a huge bust due to dumb-ass life decisions.

Holy shit that last post got long. Read it, it's kind of funny and on topic and such. At least a little bit.

I read it, since it was awesome.

It's rough eh...I remember pregnant chicks in highshcool walking around, just absorbing all the attention, like they're rockstars and cool now because they're going to be parents.

Then a few years later they're asking "would you like fries with that"..it's just a shame that's all.

Also, hilarious.

Enjoyable story..100% worth reading.

Eh, it's ok, but it was even better being there.

We would talk to each other about "LeBron this, Lebron that" where other people were around, and every once in a while someone might be quick enough to pick up on what/who we were talking about. In fact, I think after she became Ryan Leaf we told her about the whole "LeBron" thing, just for fun. Also, because we would be like, "Yeah, that was when we thought you were hot, back before you ruined yourself."

lolz were had.

But yeah, these chicks who think they're the shit because they decided to put their dirty womb to use a solid decade before they should have are pretty hilarious in a I'm-laughing-at-you-not-with-you way.

I'll never forget a friend of mine when I was younger..."I don't regret having kids..but man, if I had a time machine I would so not have kids."

Shit cracked me up so hard.

Haha Awesome post. I absolutely despise MTV for that shit on tv. Its disgusting. It makes young girls think, "Oh if I have a kid I can end up on tv! Now come on Johnny Random and knock me up!" Its like MTV is making fun of a serious situation. All in all, I just dont watch MTV period. And I pretty much make fun of anyone who does. But I do see the hilarity of it. and yes, those dumb whor*s deserve every hardship that comes their way.

You really can't take MTV too seriously. Or, at least I try not to.

I mean, how can you?

Just look at what I mean:








Clowns. The lot of them. And they're what MTV is famous for.

MTV is awful.

If I were a chick, just watching a commercial for the Jersey Shore would have made me a lesbian.

I've started watching this show and like a watching a trainwreck I can't pull my eyes away. One episode followed by the other. OP I salute/hate you. (beer)

This was a worthy read.