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Spider Sunk......

£120,000 FERRARI SPIDER GOES FOR A SWIM

A Slovenian tourist had his pride and joy sunk yesterday, when an unknown van driver reversed into his Ferrari, and accidentally knocked it into a harbour.



The Spider's owner was in a local restaurant, in the croatian holiday island of Pag, and had earlier been annoying local residents with the loud engine.

A local said "The Ferrari guy was a Slovenian tourist who had been harassing people in his car by making a lot of noise. It was like he was driving around purposely trying to wake up tourists with his fancy Ferrari."

The car was luckily towed out with minor damage.

FULL STORY
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/872714-120-000-ferrari-360-spider-sunk-by-white-van-man


Man! I'd be pissed! Such a lovely car too! Still, probably the obnoxious fuckers own fault really! Serves him right for buying it in red!

Just cause your lady moans, doesn't mean she's getting off.

Right, you heard me. Just cause the chick makes those nice moaning noises doesn't mean she's about to squirt. It could be that it's an instinctual response to make you blow your load to propogate the species.

What she's doing is manipulating your behavior. Which shouldn't be considered an unconscious reaction....women have been manipulating men's behavior for centuries.



http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/stephen-kahn/the-truth-behind-noisy-or_b_927296.html

Keep up the good work, sirs.

And judging by your output, you'd all make better news mods than I.

Wouldn't take much

And they are all doing an awesomely fine job

Glad I'm not going to have to pick a winner!

Quote:

Originally posted by Paddy!

Spider Sunk......

£120,000 FERRARI SPIDER GOES FOR A SWIM

A Slovenian tourist had his pride and joy sunk yesterday, when an unknown van driver reversed into his Ferrari, and accidentally knocked it into a harbour.

[ Image ]

The Spider's owner was in a local restaurant, in the croatian holiday island of Pag, and had earlier been annoying local residents with the loud engine.

A local said "The Ferrari guy was a Slovenian tourist who had been harassing people in his car by making a lot of noise. It was like he was driving around purposely trying to wake up tourists with his fancy Ferrari."

The car was luckily towed out with minor damage.

FULL STORY
[ Link ]


Man! I'd be pissed! Such a lovely car too! Still, probably the obnoxious fuckers own fault really! Serves him right for buying it in red!

At least it isn't yellow.

Quote:

Originally posted by dyhart

...


At least it isn't yellow.

I suppose you're right!

Only other really wanky colour could be tangerine!

I wish i had a nurse like this......

PSYCHIATRIC NURSE SENDS SEXY PICS TO PATIENT

A nurse from Preston, UK, is in hot water after it was revealed she sent saucy snaps of herself in just her underwear.





Nurse Gemma Tomlinson, 28, struck up the relationship with an unnamed patient at nearby Guild lodge metal hospital. The patient, a paranoid schizophrenic, was serving a term for 'wounding with intent'. 

It is also alleged she sent him numerous letters, some of them sexual in nature, including one about a recent trip to the red light district in Amsterdam. It was with this letter she sent the two snaps of herself in only her underwear.

In her defence, Miss Tomlinson said that sending the images was that 'they couldn't have a physical relationship, so this was the next step.'

The nurse is currently due to have a disciplinary hearing next month, where she could beg struck off the Nursing Register altogether, after already losing her job due to 'Gross Misconduct'.


FULL STORY
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/8709353/Nurse-sent-photos-of-herself-in-underwear-to-schizophrenic-prisoner.html

Now they always go on about the state of the Health service over here. Budget cuts, MRSA, nurses not giving a shit etc. However i think this story has its merits. i mean, she was only trying to make him feel better surely by sending the pics, id love it if my doctor sent me pics...

on second thought, hes a 60 year old pakistani guy...

yeah, maybe not!!

Basketball Brawl...

MASS BRAWL DURING BASKETBALL GAME

Georgetown university's entire basketball team were involved in a mass on court brawl with Chinese team Chinese Bayi Rockets.




Georgetown, known as the Hoyas, were meant to be on a 5 day goodwill tour of china. 




It is not known what caused the fight, but the video below shows blows being exchanged and chairs being thrown!

SEE THE VIDEO!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh233LeL2V0

FULL STORY
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/weirdnewsvideo/8710581/American-basketball-team-brawls-with-Chinese-hosts.html

I'm not normally a fan of basketball, I prefer Football (soccer), and the hooliganism that goes with it.

I think I'll start watching now...

Always repay your debts..

GERMAN TRAVELS 800 MILES TO BUY A PINT

German, Sebastian Steinzen, lost a golf bet while on holiday in Majorca to a british man known only as Patrick, and has spent $1,500 and travelled over 800 miles to try and find him, and buy him that pint he owes.





Sebastian, from Gladbeck, Germany, placed the pint of beer wager on a 130 yard shot, which he missed. He never got the chance to buy him the pint over the next two days, and it has been bugging him ever since.

"I want to pay my bet. That is the only reason I am here. The bet has been on my mind for five years so I decided to do something about it. I�m a man who likes to pay his debts. I have travelled 800 miles to try to find Patrick. It is worth every penny if I find him."

After losing Patricks address during a house move, Sebastian decided to travel to his home town of Portishead and look around local golf ranges and local pubs with a picture of him, to no avail.

"I just thought the people at the golf courses or the pub would know him. If anyone knows him or his wife Pam please contact me so I can come back to have my pint with him."

FULL STORY
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8708682/Germans-800-mile-trip-to-repay-golf-debt.html


If that was me owing the pint, I'd of bought it him immediately, or just forgot about it.

Seems a bit anal to travel all that way for simply that. There has to be another reason!

Maybe he fancies Patrick and wants some ass?

Quote:

Originally posted by Paddy!

Basketball Brawl...

MASS BRAWL DURING BASKETBALL GAME

Georgetown university's entire basketball team were involved in a mass on court brawl with Chinese team Chinese Bayi Rockets.

[ Image ]


Georgetown, known as the Hoyas, were meant to be on a 5 day goodwill tour of china. 

[ Image ]


It is not known what caused the fight, but the video below shows blows being exchanged and chairs being thrown!

SEE THE VIDEO!!

[ Link ]

FULL STORY
[ Link ]

I'm not normally a fan of basketball, I prefer Football (soccer), and the hooliganism that goes with it.

I think I'll start watching now...

Fucking awesome. Can't believe I missed that. I notice two styles, an american style and a british style, along with the sources, well done all(beer)

Very good so far guys.

A couple weeks to go. I have no doubts that you'll keep up the good work, making our decision very difficult.

Well, when you need a disguise...

ROBBER USES PANTIES AS MASK

A dozy Dallas robber used underpants as a disguise, and then preceded to rob a convenience store.





The masked raider attacked the Exxon Tigermart store at 5:30 am on Tuesday. He was also wearing a floral summer dress, and indicated he was carrying a gun underneath it. He demanded cash from the attendant, and further cash from an unlucky customer.


WATCH THE VIDEO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSfbHXnoXAw


It is unknown exactly how much the thief made off with, and the police have no leads. The assailant is believed to be a white male, approx 5'5".

FULL STORY
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/872873-robber-wearing-pants-on-his-head-on-the-run-from-police-in-dallas-texas


I gotta say this, cuz you guys are probably all thinkin it anyway....

How do they know that was a gun he was holdiing and not his junk?

Also, Were those boxers clean? did he forget to take his mask along and just whipped them off before he went in? WTF is with the dress?

Is this some confused cross-dressing criminal going to attack more convenience stores?

If you're in the Dallas area, watch out!!

I know I said there would be no off topic posts.

I just thought I would post since I've been gone a week..and I'm still very impressed with how this is going.

I was hoping we would have more variety of posters..since anyone can win this, but I'm not complaining. I'm going to go back and read through what I missed.

Don't look down

STUNTMAN DOES HIGHEST TIGHTROPE CLIMB EVER

A Swiss stuntman has climbed the worlds highest and longest tightrope, without a safety harness or balancing pole.

Freddy Nock, 46, climbed germanys highest cable car ride on the mountain of Zugspitze in southern Bavaria. Standing on a 2 inch thick cable, the brave stuntman walked the 1000 metre distance in 1 hour 20 minutes and gained an altitude of 348 metres.



He aims to enter his feat in the Guiness book of records as the longest and highest wire walk above sea level without a harness or net.

Freddy also aims to do the longest bicycle ride on a cable and set the record for the longest tightrope walk down a valley. 

All proceeds and sponsorship go to UNICEF.

FULL STORY
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/8713482/Stuntman-walks-up-Germanys-highest-cable-car.html

This man must have balls of steel to do this. What would he do if there was a cross wind? 

Nice to see that any money made goes to a good cause also. Fair play to the bloke.

Scientists warn that aliens may come to destroy us

WOW...but what if the aliens are like Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, or even Spock? They seemed pretty nice and normal!

Scientists are worried that technologically advanced aliens, if they exist, could want to come to earth and eat or exterminate humanity.

And who's paying for their research?


http://news.yahoo.com/scientists-warn-aliens-may-come-destroy-us-160003672.html

HP unveils new PC days after saying it exits unit

Come on guys....make up your mind!!!

So, a few days ago, Hewlett Packard decided they were out of the PC business, and was going to concentrate on other areas of technological goodness.
SO, today, Monday, HP decided to roll out its newest desktop computer. It's an all-in-one model aimed at corporate and public sector customers.
That's sweet, like a little woman who can't make up her mind. YEA...more like a guy with premature-jizzing problems....somebody jumped the gun on an announcement somewhere.


http://news.yahoo.com/hp-unveils-pc-days-saying-exits-unit-181451203.html

That's a hell of an excuse!

A Finnish ferry ran aground while its captain was stuck in the bathroom. What, there's not a first mate, or some other jackass that can steer a boat?

He claims the lock jammed and he couldn't get out.
Personally, I think he was taking matters into his own hands ... getting hold of himself ... spanking the monkey, choking the chicken, beating the bishop, warming up Willie the One Eyed Wonder Worm....you get the idea. Just my opinion. How tough was that door that somebody couldn't bust the hell out of it before the boat hit something solid?


http://news.yahoo.com/ferry-runs-aground-captain-stuck-toilet-152914917.html

Stages keep falling down

It's getting to be dangerous just going on stage to perform ... hell, even for going to the concert to see a performance.

Another stage collapsed and killed 5 people, and 70 more were injured when two stages, including equipment, sound towers, tents and trees were torn down in just a few minutes of heavy wind and hail at the 60,000 capacity Pukkelpop festival in Belgium. The rest of the event, due to feature the Foo Fighters, 30 Seconds to Mars and the Offspring, has now been cancelled.



5 people also died when a stage collapsed at the Indiana State Fair Aug. 13, and there were similar incidents in Tulsa and Ottawa this year.



Four total, and the year isn't over with yet.

http://rocknewsdesk.com/world-news/5-dead-in-new-stage-collapse/3138/

Dumb and Dumber

STUPID QUIZ ANSWERS

Found this article and thought it was funny, so I thought I'd share. All these are stupid answers given by contestants on ACTUAL tv shows. 


Question: What was Gandhi's first name?

Answer: Goosey?


Question: What is Hitler's first name?

Answer: Heil

Question: name a dangerous race?

Answer: the Arabs. 

Question:Which 's' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?

Contestant: Ummm. . .

It begins with 's' and rhymes with 'perm'.

Contestant: Shark.


Question: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?

Answer: Jesus


Question: Name the capital of France

Answer: F

There's more on the site, these are just some of the best!


FULL STORY
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/8716210/Idiotic-quiz-show-answers-the-best-of-the-worst-contestants.html

That's Florida for ya!

It used to be that Arkansas or Alabama was the US leaders in fucked-up families. Well, then there's wild and wonderful West Virginia. Ya know, there's just 3 families total in that state.

Well, now Florida puts out the best headlines and the best laughs. So here's one for ya:

"Woman encouraged husband to have sex with 12-year-old girl so that she would get pregnant and they could claim more benefits"

Damn, that's almost as funny as Dallas' dude in the dress with underwear on his head robbing a store.

The woman,Alicia Bouchard, allegedly encouraged her husband to have sex with a 12-year-old girl so that she would get pregnant and they could claim extra cash benefits.

And if the story isn't outrageous enough, you should see the lovely couple:



Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2029273/Woman-encouraged-husband-sex-12-year-old-girl-benefits.html