An emergency occurs in a crowded place. There is a rush for the doors. What do you do.

Let's say you are in a crowded place such as a concert or airplane. There is an emergency such as a fire or crash. Unless you get out fast, you'll die a horrible death, but the herd is clogging the doorways. What do you do? Claw your way to the front? Help old ladies get out? Something else?

Because me, unless there is a relative of mine in there, I'm going to claw my way the FUCK over everyone in a blind race to get to...and out of....the door. Granny with the walker, fuck her. I've got way more years to live than her anyhow. The panicked, doddering moron who didn't read the escape instructions is just a speed bump on the way out, a useless eater. The fat ass who didn't do enough situps is just going to be something I push off of on my jump to safety. Survival is survival, and unless cooperation is the only thing that'll keep me alive, it's every man for himself. I'll help them with their exit after I'm safely outside.

Laugh manically as I watch my handiwork.

I ride out on the wings of an eagle, while taking a moment out to air-to-ground highfive a manically laughing Kanzen from my super badass eagle getaway bird.

Quote:

Granny with the walker, fuck her.

Classy business.

I would jerk off to the 1988 movie "Beaches".

I would headbutt someone, since I'm awesome.

BRB, whiskey.

I would try to keep everyone calm using my smooth song stylings.

I would think to myself "What would Tony Shalhoub do".

...What, he was on Wings. The man is an icon.

Vicodin.

lol wtf

I'd rub up against all the strapping young men in the crowd.

Personally, I love stressful situations, so I'd be popping up all over the place.

I would die.

Then I would wait three days.

Then I would rise from the dead.

I would help the children get off out.

i'd clobber the perpetrator... at least my death won't be meaningless -- or so i think.

Quote:

Originally posted by Kanzen

Laugh manically as I watch my handiwork.

You "guys" are terrible!

I would use my super-powers to stop the panic and save everyone.

i'd stand at the back shouting when you go through those doors you will die, move to the back of the room.

Wait till the stampede moved to the back of the room
Then walk out the doors shut them and run

I'll show up after the fun is over, make a few clever quips, and investigate the situation.


In all likelihood, I'll have mystery of whodunit wrapped up in about a half and hour, at which point, I'll turn over the results to the D.A.'s office.

Quote:

Originally posted by ppchaser

i'd clobber the perpetrator... at least my death won't be meaningless -- or so i think.

...

Bring it, I'll burn you down faster than the joint.