I, like my idols on the show Ghost Adventures have a peculiar hobby. I hunt ghosts. *flexes*
What the fuck are we looking at?
In my literally days of being a ghost hunter, I have learned a thing or two. Since there aren't very many old timey buildings near me, my ghost hunting has been mainly dedicated to my own basement, where I sit quietly in the dark and scream at noises I hear. So a lot of the things I learned are actually from watching the show, Ghost Adventures.
5. The Cool, Other Worldly Ghost Shenanigans Always Happen Just Off Camera.
Like, right over there behind you..some serious ghost business just happened...
Like with life, all the cool shit happens when nobody is around to see it, remember that time you were going to drop something, but due to your cat (ghost cat?) like reflexes, you caught it...amazingly? Then you scanned the room to realize that super cool catch was viewed by nobody? Sure, you can tell them about it, but it's just not the same. That's what all of ghost hunting is like. It doesn't matter what show you watch, all the action always happens...just slightly off camera. Shadowy figures? Floating objects? Yeah, you might as well fire the camera guy, because the only time you're seeing that shit is just over his shoulder while he's facing the wrong way. Which leads me to believe that ghosts are in fact, assholes.
Is Demo a ghost? I should investigate that.
It seems in my own experience I haven't had any real jump scares or floating objects...but I think this entirely due to the fact I'm my own camera man. I've considered getting some mirrored glasses so I can see behind me, but I'm new to this and my budget is quite slim. As my dad used to say "Who needs mirrors when we have toilets?".
4. If You Don't Have Awesome Gadgets, Ghosts Probably Ignore You/Think You're Gay.
It was like a hissing scratchy metallic thuddy footstep? DID WE GET THAT?!
In the ghost hunting game, much like naked ping pong, you need a lot of equipment. I myself only have an old night vision camera and the ability to shit my pants at the slightest hint of danger. (everyone hates when I do laundry)...so I'm obviously lacking in the game, and that's why no ghosts have tried to contact me..that I know of!!!
In the show I was watching about hunting for ghosts, they have a machine that turns "ghostly energy" into sound.
Everyone drink that in....
Okay, so they have a machine that does that. Luckily ghosts always have something pretty spooky and on point to say. In the episode I watched, mainroid freak ghost hunter ...Zach was trying confront an angry spirit who kept messing with chicks.
Zach is like a white knight on a level most internet posters can only dream of.
Also, in their ghost hunting arsenal is some high-res cameras, a digital record that when "enhanced" always has something spooky to say. For example, whenever anyone thought they heard something, THEY TOTALLY DID!!! Which must be so cool, whenever I hear something ghost hunting it's usually just own farts. MAYBE THAT'S SOMETHING! I should investigate that.
So yeah, don't even think about getting into ghost hunting unless you've got some awesome ghost hunting equipment.
3. Ghosts Look Suspiciously Like Dust.
Probably some ghost chick blowing me..*flexes*
One thing I've come to learn in my ghost hunting adventures is that you need to develop a keen eye for anything suspicious. On many occasions during my adventures, and while watching Ghost Adventures, I was surprised by how strangely floating particles of anything looked. Things don't just float, that's science...gravity makes shit fall, so anything floating or reflecting light weirdly? THAT SHIT IS GHOSTS!
I was in my basement crawl space the other nightcrying ghost hunting and I seen in my camera two floating orbs....that's when I realized I may have been dealing with DOUBLE GHOSTS this whole time. I would have never have known that had I not put so much effort into watching television. Like, I don't half ass watch TV, I sit and glare furiously at it.
So yeah, next time you fire up your vacuum, prepare your anus for ghosts.
The anus is where most ghost portals exist.
Remember, future adventures, dust = super evidence.
2. Everything Is Ghosts, Literally Everything.
Ghosts always pick on the juicers.
This may surprise you, but we are all constantly surrounded by ghosts all the time constantly. You think that noise was your furnace turning on? Yeah, it was ghosts..
A great ghost hunting lesson is this one, because once you finally realize it....it changes your whole life, everything you think is anything..is ghosts. As I was saying before, I went into my Fortress of Saditude crawl space a few days ago to hunt for ghosts, anyway, as soon as I entered this place I got very, very cold. I was only wearing a wife beater and boxers as I hunt ghosts like a boss, so I was able to notice almost immediately.
Little did I know (until watching an episode of the best ghost hunting show ever) that every change in temperature can be anything from a ghost, to an inevitable possession. Luckily possessions are just some dude looking at things angrily. In the show I watched, one of the bros got possessed, and he said "they kept telling me to kill" which is spooky.
I have to assume that was just his inner monologue when he realized this is what he does for a living.
A lot of things happened that were ghosts. Weird, scratchy noises that sound like nothing, footsteps, literally everything is ghosts.
Be sure to remember, next time you go outside without a jacket...you're being hassled by asshole ghosts. HOLY FUCK BROS, I JUST REALIZED....WHEN YOU DIE YOUR SPIRIT PROBABLY ENDS UP IN THE ARCTIC! I should add that to my ghostdiary trapperkeeper Hannah Montana note pad journal.
1. Hunting Ghosts Makes You Look Like A Shitty Actor.
Comic sans literally gives Kanzen nightmares
I've noticed this from the moment I started hunting ghosts, when you have to deal with the level of -realness- that ghost hunting throws at you, your face doesn't know how to act, so you spend most of the time looking like a terrible actor. It must be hard for the bros on the show Ghost Adventures because no matter how hard they try to capture legitimate proof that ghosts exist, they all end up just looking like a pile of terrible actors. Imagine how disheartening that would be? Capturing what in your opinion, is rock solid proof of ghosts (a moan that kinda sounds like "die" ) and when watching the footage back, you and your posse of bros end up looking like a bunch of little kids telling each other ghost stores? That must be the worst. I don't know where my own adventures in ghost hunting will take me, but I do know that I'll never be even half the ghost hunter, of even the camera guy for Ghost Adventures, hopefully one day I'll see a ghost, but until then..I'll have to leave it to the "professionals"...
If anyone has any doubt about their abilities, In 2010, the program won two Spooktalkular Parawards. (I'm not even making that up..that's a thing that exists.)
What the fuck are we looking at?
In my literally days of being a ghost hunter, I have learned a thing or two. Since there aren't very many old timey buildings near me, my ghost hunting has been mainly dedicated to my own basement, where I sit quietly in the dark and scream at noises I hear. So a lot of the things I learned are actually from watching the show, Ghost Adventures.
5. The Cool, Other Worldly Ghost Shenanigans Always Happen Just Off Camera.
Like, right over there behind you..some serious ghost business just happened...
Like with life, all the cool shit happens when nobody is around to see it, remember that time you were going to drop something, but due to your cat (ghost cat?) like reflexes, you caught it...amazingly? Then you scanned the room to realize that super cool catch was viewed by nobody? Sure, you can tell them about it, but it's just not the same. That's what all of ghost hunting is like. It doesn't matter what show you watch, all the action always happens...just slightly off camera. Shadowy figures? Floating objects? Yeah, you might as well fire the camera guy, because the only time you're seeing that shit is just over his shoulder while he's facing the wrong way. Which leads me to believe that ghosts are in fact, assholes.
Is Demo a ghost? I should investigate that.
It seems in my own experience I haven't had any real jump scares or floating objects...but I think this entirely due to the fact I'm my own camera man. I've considered getting some mirrored glasses so I can see behind me, but I'm new to this and my budget is quite slim. As my dad used to say "Who needs mirrors when we have toilets?".
4. If You Don't Have Awesome Gadgets, Ghosts Probably Ignore You/Think You're Gay.
It was like a hissing scratchy metallic thuddy footstep? DID WE GET THAT?!
In the ghost hunting game, much like naked ping pong, you need a lot of equipment. I myself only have an old night vision camera and the ability to shit my pants at the slightest hint of danger. (everyone hates when I do laundry)...so I'm obviously lacking in the game, and that's why no ghosts have tried to contact me..that I know of!!!
In the show I was watching about hunting for ghosts, they have a machine that turns "ghostly energy" into sound.
Everyone drink that in....
Okay, so they have a machine that does that. Luckily ghosts always have something pretty spooky and on point to say. In the episode I watched, main
Zach is like a white knight on a level most internet posters can only dream of.
Also, in their ghost hunting arsenal is some high-res cameras, a digital record that when "enhanced" always has something spooky to say. For example, whenever anyone thought they heard something, THEY TOTALLY DID!!! Which must be so cool, whenever I hear something ghost hunting it's usually just own farts. MAYBE THAT'S SOMETHING! I should investigate that.
So yeah, don't even think about getting into ghost hunting unless you've got some awesome ghost hunting equipment.
3. Ghosts Look Suspiciously Like Dust.
Probably some ghost chick blowing me..*flexes*
One thing I've come to learn in my ghost hunting adventures is that you need to develop a keen eye for anything suspicious. On many occasions during my adventures, and while watching Ghost Adventures, I was surprised by how strangely floating particles of anything looked. Things don't just float, that's science...gravity makes shit fall, so anything floating or reflecting light weirdly? THAT SHIT IS GHOSTS!
I was in my basement crawl space the other night
So yeah, next time you fire up your vacuum, prepare your anus for ghosts.
The anus is where most ghost portals exist.
Remember, future adventures, dust = super evidence.
2. Everything Is Ghosts, Literally Everything.
Ghosts always pick on the juicers.
This may surprise you, but we are all constantly surrounded by ghosts all the time constantly. You think that noise was your furnace turning on? Yeah, it was ghosts..
A great ghost hunting lesson is this one, because once you finally realize it....it changes your whole life, everything you think is anything..is ghosts. As I was saying before, I went into my
Little did I know (until watching an episode of the best ghost hunting show ever) that every change in temperature can be anything from a ghost, to an inevitable possession. Luckily possessions are just some dude looking at things angrily. In the show I watched, one of the bros got possessed, and he said "they kept telling me to kill" which is spooky.
I have to assume that was just his inner monologue when he realized this is what he does for a living.
A lot of things happened that were ghosts. Weird, scratchy noises that sound like nothing, footsteps, literally everything is ghosts.
Be sure to remember, next time you go outside without a jacket...you're being hassled by asshole ghosts. HOLY FUCK BROS, I JUST REALIZED....WHEN YOU DIE YOUR SPIRIT PROBABLY ENDS UP IN THE ARCTIC! I should add that to my ghost
1. Hunting Ghosts Makes You Look Like A Shitty Actor.
Comic sans literally gives Kanzen nightmares
I've noticed this from the moment I started hunting ghosts, when you have to deal with the level of -realness- that ghost hunting throws at you, your face doesn't know how to act, so you spend most of the time looking like a terrible actor. It must be hard for the bros on the show Ghost Adventures because no matter how hard they try to capture legitimate proof that ghosts exist, they all end up just looking like a pile of terrible actors. Imagine how disheartening that would be? Capturing what in your opinion, is rock solid proof of ghosts (a moan that kinda sounds like "die" ) and when watching the footage back, you and your posse of bros end up looking like a bunch of little kids telling each other ghost stores? That must be the worst. I don't know where my own adventures in ghost hunting will take me, but I do know that I'll never be even half the ghost hunter, of even the camera guy for Ghost Adventures, hopefully one day I'll see a ghost, but until then..I'll have to leave it to the "professionals"...
If anyone has any doubt about their abilities, In 2010, the program won two Spooktalkular Parawards. (I'm not even making that up..that's a thing that exists.)
