some help if you wouldn't mind...

i know this is not really the place for this kind of discussion, but i need some relationship... *advice*, i guess. asking strangers that aren't my stupid drunk ass friends is one tactic i've been long considering to get an objective opinion on this shit. and believe me, it is shit.

so here goes:

my gf and i have been dating for a number of years now (5+ some months). shes an awesome girl: good gf, makes me food a lot, buys me shit, is caring, funny, etc. etc., REALLY hot (super plus) and seems to love me to death for whatever reasons she finds valid. we have a pretty good relationship with few fights, we see each other about 2-3 times a week for extended time periods, and the sex is awesome.

now the problem. i'm fairly young (21), shes of the same age, and i just don't know where this is going. we've been dating (albeit on and off at one point) since young kids start to actually 'date', and i just don't know. I party alot with different groups of people so i'm exposed to lots of women. i find it really hard to focus on our relationship with not knowing what else is out there. i've never cheated on her nor will i ever, which is part of the conundrum. i'm definitely a quality over quantity type of guy and i won't just stick it anywhere. however, like i said, i don't know fully what is out there.

her and her friends can have a real 'small town' mentality of clique-type behaviour at times which makes it impossible for me and my friends that chill with them to have outside acquaintances. this drives me fucking insane sometimes because i like to experience new and interesting things and people, and they simply don't.

i don't know what else to say really. i'm young and inexperienced with all this love and relationship shit. but when she says "i love you" and i say it back, it's not always the complete truth; sometimes i'm just not sure.

sometimes i just feel like i need to get out there and leave all this shit behind, but at the same time i care very much about my gf and despite this rant, i do love her and enjoy our time together. i mean, i don't want to dump her really (she is going through some VERY terrible family problems right now and I'm pretty much all she has) but where can it go from here?

smartass comments and dickhead responses need not reply.

thanks for the help.

It's not an easy situation to be in, but if the only problem you're having in this relationship is that you want to experience more...and do more (girls)..I honestly wouldn't leave her. You might be really happy and everything, but eventually you'll wish you still had an awesome girlfriend. It's why I didn't date for a really long time...girls seem so cool and shit on the surface, or really sweet and caring...but then after a few months, they stop pretending to be good, and start letting their real personalities out...and they're usually cold, calculating, dishonest and secretly uncaring. If you've managed to find a girl, who cares about you, and you've been dating so long you know she's not pretending anymore, I don't know if it's worth it to end it unless there are more serious issues.

But I'm not you, I can only try to give you the benefit of my experience, a lot of times when you're with a girl for a longish period of time..she'll stop caring, and you'll stop caring....and then eventually you'll find your dick inside her sister or best friend, and it's always best to end it before that happens. So if she's still tolerable, and you still have fun and she cares about you..and the sex is good. Maybe stick it out, it's better than being 25 and dating a buncha vapid skanks that have been nailed more times than the floor you're standing on.

Also, the "being 25 and dating a buncha vapid skanks" thing..is just a worst case scenario. I'm not old or anything like that...

Wait 3 more years and then marry her

Well, I dont know anything about your sexual background or anything but my main suggestion is that if you get hitched and stay completely monogomous , ahem.. monogimous, fuck it, however it is spelled... you may be looking at one vagina for the rest of you life, and even chicks get tired of one dick there entire life. It sounds like you have been dating since ur 16 or so, so i am assuming that is the case. I would love to tell you that you will be able to stay with her for the rest of your life and be happy, but it is really hard when the standard for Love is being reduced all around you.

let me explain that last point. I am not getting a divorce, never wanted to EVER, and that is what i think today..kinda.

I see all these people around me getting divorced with "Trial Marriages" and bullshit. It slowly makes you think that it is cool or worse yet.. normal to get a divorce. I have almost talked my self into divorcing my wife many times, but not for poontang reasons. I come from a really really broken home, and I never wanted that for my self, family, and now son.

But that is what i am looking at, I always joke with my co workers/friends/and wife that "my next wife will be nicer"

You seem like a smart kid, I would look into your situation and really evaluate what you have, because sometimes it is what you don't have is what drives you crazy.

Say you split with her and go do your own thing, (girls, partys ect.) a few years from now its gonna get old... your gonna grow up and wish you still had her!

If it aint broke, dont fix it!



"So if she's still tolerable, and you still have fun and she cares about you..and the sex is good. Maybe stick it out, it's better than being 25 and dating a buncha vapid skanks that have been nailed more times than the floor you're standing on." -Honda_x

If you're as happy as you say, and she's as great as she sounds... what do you hope to accomplish by getting a couple more girls under your belt? Don't rush off and propose or anything, but don't mess up a good thing just because you think you might like a little more variety... the only thing you're bound to find is that you fucked up a good thing

There's a fine line between waiting for a sufficient period of time before popping the questiuon, and fucking your brains out with other women until the time arrives... Good Luck!

Quote:

Originally posted by robodick

There's a fine line between waiting for a sufficient period of time before popping the questiuon, and fucking your brains out with other women until the time arrives... Good Luck!

Listen to this guy! He has a robotic dick and chicks love those.

I had a G/F who I dated til I was 20, we dated for almost 7 years, I let her get away, had fun for a few years, but to this day, I wish I would have stayed with her. I still compare every girl I date to her, and not one has measured up.

I had the opposite experience from tonman. I Dated a girl for 3.5 years till she was 19 and I was 21, and she started cheating on me. She just hadn't finished growing up yet, wasn't finished as a person yet. I gave her a second chance and she immediately blew it (no pun intended, but I suppose it fits well). Since then every girl I've dated has been far hotter than her, and the girl I'm currently living with is just perfect for me.

So I guess the lesson is... it's a crap shoot any way you play it. So do you want to roll the dice or pass to the next shooter? Neither decision is wrong, neither decision is right.

I'll wax philosophical on this topic for days if I don't stop myself.

dont leave her alone in her difficult times....just be with her...appreciate her..love herr...if u see the thing between BOTH
(not just u!!)...r going down...THINK AND ANALYZE about leaving...its better to give pain than feel it....im sorry but thats the awful true...

if u leave her right now...ull fucking regret it, u will cannot find all the good this girl had in any other girl!!!...im not old...but im enough experienced to tell it..

I gotta agree with everyone, it aint broke dont fix it. You can always try to get her to have some fun in a threesome if its more experience you want.

Yeah, you do not face an easy choice there. My two cents is this, you're 21 and it sounds like you two have been together so long that it is unlikely that either of you has been with anyone else. As cold and calculating as this might sound, my advice to you is to break up and date others. If you don't, you'll both end up in this relationship and both of you down the line (maybe not far down the line - like it is already happening) will wonder what it would have been like had you dated other women/men. You'll take each other for granted and one of you will cheat (face it - probably you, the guy). It's a choice of pain now or protracted pain later. Face it, most relationships where the two partners have never known a relationship with anybody else are doomed nowadays. You're 21, get out there and see what relationships are really like (including the f&*#d up ones). She need to as well. Will there be ones when you will think back to this relationship as being so much better, as being your "true" love? Sure, but there will be others too, and eventually, something like this one or one much better. And THEN, with the experience of multiple relationships under your belt, you'll be able to appreciate it and be comfortable choosing it.

You don't know what ya got till its gone.

I'd say live with her first ,My wife and I lived together for two years before we got married and have been married for 20 years this year,.

Quote:

Originally posted by Fatsmagee

You don't know what ya got till its gone.

good line

some people are satisfied living small town lives, some like big city, some like me have wanderlust. you probably won't know which is you for alot more years. go with your heart & don't be afraid to fail. there will be other girls passing thru your life. who knows what the next 40 years holds for any of us.

and for the most part, dating 25-yr-old skanks is fine with me!!! all depends on your perspective.

Az

dip shit boyfriend of a good friend of mine decided he was "missing out" and wanted to explore what was out there. ordinarily there is nothing wrong with this as it is human nature. however, things were great between the two and she was devoted to him and he to her..

alas, he hit her with his secret and destroyed the purity of their relationship. he went o/s with his mates and whatnot and partied like a single guy does.

the kicker is he ended up missing what they had and eventually, this sickens me, she took him back and now it seems they are living happily ever after.

i'd still like to kick him in the nuts!


BUT... if you're not content, you're not content. do what YOU feel you need to do.

you're young and should experience as much of the world as you can before
settling down, however that doesn't necessarily mean that you should fuck
as much of the world as you can...unless that's what you decide to do.

your doing the right thing by staying with her when she's having a tough time,
but you sound like you might trade your desire to explore life a bit just to
be a stand-up guy and that could lead you to resent her down the road.

my advice is something that has always worked for me: talk to her and be respectful
of her feelings and honest about yours. then figure it out together.

last thing: it's better to regret something you did do than something you didn't do
because then at least you tried. good luck with whatever you decide to do...

thank you all for your honest opinions and helpful input. i've been contemplating this shit a lot more lately and i still think i have some soul searching ahead of me. the only thing is i agree with all of you at the same time, which is to say i think i'm still at square one but with a little more insight.

i am coming to realize that i think i am the wandering type. i find life to be horribly boring at times and i just feel like i want to shed everything and get out there. on the other hand, like some of you said, if it aint broken, don't fix it. and as for the threesome option, we have already explored this with great success and she's down to do it again (she actually brings it up somewhat frequently when we're sexin'. but this brings rise to another question: where from here? i mean threesomes are great, especially when she enjoys them so much (i think she might be bi but hasn't fully realized it), but i don't want to exhaust the majority of sexual action before we reach 30, if we get there together, know what i mean?

i don't know. i look at all the sad fucks out there just wading through life trying to find a decent person to love them and start to think about my situation. i have a sexy ass girl who i actually enjoy talking to, she loves me, etc. etc. and i want to throw it away. i don't know. thanks again for all the help, but like some of you said, i have to deal with this myself and make the final decision. man, life is a motherfucker.