Question to the men

Well I might as well step forward and ask the silly "what should I do in this situation" question. I haven't had too much dating/relationship experience with guys, mostly just sex so when it comes to being single and looking I'm at a loss. All my other encounters were with good friends, sexually aggressive suitors (and liquor) or foreign studs (communication through action).
So, theres a guy here in town (small ass town) who I remember from high school. Hes 4 or 5 years older and....dated my sister. years ago when they were like 13. Shes off and married now and couldn't care less if we dated. My thing is, I look a lot like her, I mean A LOT. I dont want to be the carbon copy (not exactly alike but enough to fool ya) fuck for this guy, but shit hes hot and I've gotten hints from him that he was interested (well placed flirty touches and such). he told me once to call him, so I did a week later and left a message with his sister. He never called back. I don't want to be annoying and if I get any sign that he doesn't want me I'll back off. My question is, do guys like/dislike/have any opinions at all when girls call you up? Does it reek of desperation or can I maintain my dignity and call him up? Please answer seriously if at all. I do good enough a job making fun of myself.

I don't have a problem when a girl calls. I like women that are self confident enough that they can intiate contact, even to the point of asking me out on a date.

There is nothing wrong with an assertive woman. I'd like to think that the woman I date has enough self esteem to make the first move. I find it attractive, and a sign of intellegence.

I agree with mickster. But it all really depends on the type guy he is. I don't have a problem with a woman being a little aggressive and everyone needs there own self confidence. Hell CALL ME...lol I'm in a small ass town also.

Desperation.......such a lonely road, wish I could find an exit.

I agree with MICKSTER. Nothing wrong with a woman showing she is interested. Actually, I kinda like it. Im the type of person that wouldve called you back if only I had gotten the message from my sister. Just pay attention to his actions and signs he gives you and make your own wise decision. Good luck!

I don't mind when a girl calls, just as long as it's not too often.
In your case, He may have not even received the message from his sister. If you had only called that once, then it's perfectly fine to give him a call again.
The only other issue i can think of is, you actually do have a good chance of being a "carbon copy fuck" to him. If you're the spittin image of your sis and he dated her then i'm pretty sure his intial thoughts towards you aren't going to be genuine.
For 1. You most likely remind him of your sis, so how can he afford to equally participate in the relationship building process necessary for dating. and 2. Although i am a guy, we're pigs. What guy doesn't want the "i boned a chick and her sister" notch in his belt.

If you're interested in dating him (which it kinda sounds like) it may not be a good move, until you're for sure he's interested in actually dating you and not using you for sex. But if he's someone you really want to pursue, then wait it out and see if he's for real. Continue to hang out, go out, etc. But try to see if he's only in it for the fuck. But hey if that's all you're in to him for then forget about the above and give him a call!

BTW, it's kinda different to be seeing this sort of thread on WBW! I'm actually a psych major...

Good luck.

in my personal opinion, calling him for the second time is a bad thing. smells like desperation. it would to me and prolly to him too.
if it was the first time you wanted to call then I'd say go right ahead. however, you've already called him and didn't get any responce yet. problem is you don't know if the lack of return-communication is in his area, or his sisters. perhaps she forgot or simply dislikes you. or she had a fight with her brother for some reason and decided not to give him the message. however... if she did give him the message and he decided not to respond to it for whatever possible reason, he will look at you as desperate and a easy target. and easy is the last thing you want to be.

if you would ask my expert opinion (hey.. I'm a man for 24 years now, I ought to know ) I would advise you to contact him again. yet, not by phone. perhaps you can find out where he goes out or where he goes when. then meet him there "by accident". if you can start the conversation, you can also ask him if he got your message (never ask him why he didn't respond to it. even if simply didn't want to respond he won't have a way out of the question which makes him feel like he's with his back against the wall and will most certainly defend himself, while you only want to know why he hasn't responded. if you ask him if he received the message he'll have a way out, for when he simply forgot or didn't want to respond. he'll be able to blame it on his sister if need be will make him look better ).
try to meet him somewhere, talk to him, ask him if he got your message if you really want to know, flirt with him and make him yours
ow... good tip: don't play hard to get, but don't be easy either. you want him to chase you but not get bored from chasing you and you don't want him to feel like he's never gonna get you. you also don't want him to feel like your so incredibly easy that he could get you in the sack the first night, even if that is what's gonna happen .

CK

on the other hand ... make it obivous that you're game, he may just play ... but in such a situation, you get yours, but you could lose his respect ...

Why can it be wrong that a girl calls a man? In my opinion i give him a second call maybe his sister has not give him the massage. You never know.

Good luck!!

yea call the bugger and anyhow you sound like youre interested.
If it only about sex?! Im sure you can get that in the local waterhole (pub).

But as i said you seem to like this guy... and calling a guy Twice isnt what i would call desperate... It is annoying if a girl keeps calling ALL the time but 1 time is no time 2 times is 2 times too much...

So my point, call him, it might be awsome?!

Go for it girl

*/me runs around with his hands in the air like an independant woman*

Mickster is right, most men(most men I know and myself) like women that are self confident and willing to make a move..But if I was you I would use the 3 call rule...If after 3 calls he/she doesnt call you back or get in touch with you in some way then move on...

Mickster is right, most men(most men I know and myself) like women that are self confident and willing to make a move..But if I was you I would use the 3 call rule...If after 3 calls he/she doesnt call you back or get in touch with you in some way then move on...

Be aggressive if you want to. I personally like that kinda girl, but most girls like that I be the aggressive one. Stupid world. Calling 2 times is definitely not too much.

Yep, I can say for my self and for many men i know that it's nice when a girl shows her interest. It's alwys kinda' flattering when a woman comes to you instead of the normal "girl there, you man, go and get" procedure

So the point being: GO ON AND GET HIM!

Besides, if a girl who's as good looking as you comes and makes the move, you just don't have a choice except to be very flattered and feel proud of yourself

Call and ask him for coffie or lunch, cant hurt and you get lunch and at least a new friend to get aggressivly drunk with..just a joke. My friend girls ask me out and over alot, and their friends do sometimes too. Calling isnt unigender anymore..SO CALL!!

Call him... that is if you dont feel awkward, wait till he like calls you your sisters name, thats going to ruin the moment.

unwelcome, stop being mean.

It is all about balance... you're right you don't want to seem to pushy, but hey if there have been signs then there maybe something there. My suggestion is to wait a week, then call again. You never know, maybe the sister forgot to give the message... who knows. guys, like myself, like to be the hunter (for the lack of a better pharse), but there is nothng to say the tables can't be turned.

This is how it works. YOu can call up the guy all you want as long as you don't cross the line into seeming like a psycho. However, the guy is only going to call you back if he cares for a piece (either you or your friends), if he doesn't call back it's probably because he's getting it else where. But once that runs dry he'll call you

I am convinced relationships are built with strategy. The casual meeting is much exciting than calling him by phone. It Requires a great deal of coordination, spying and inteligence work. This is always easier if you live in a small town.

Calling him by phone won´t harm any of you, and you will certainly have a hint of where is it going to.

Do whatever you think it is right. That is the best advice.