Oral Treatment

Hey guys!!! I have a question what do you prefer? When you are having oral administer to you do like travel to the base, playing with the head, no hands, or what? Need new ideas to improve skills.

Why hello there, Ashley B.

I've had a long career of getting madd hot blowjobs.

It all started about a decade ago, when a very nice young lady placed my genitals in her mouth. It was both our first time doing it (well, mine for sure, floozies tend to lie) and well...it went HORRIBLY, let me tell you. First off, she didn't move from the head, she just sucked really hard like my dick was a giant ( ) cum straw. I would not recommend that.

Then, after dating a few girls, I found one that was pretty good at it. She would move up and down until it gently bumped the back of her throat, and would occasionally pull it out of her mouth and slap herself in the face with it with jerking it off. But it turned out she was insane, probably stemming from her abuse as a child (didn't get enough hugs).

Lately, I have found a girl that gives the BEST blowjobs on earth. Curious? I know you are....well, here are the secrets to giving the WORLDS BEST gobblerjob.

Biggest misconception girls seem to have is that it's all about the blowjob itself, it's about the experience. Lets start with the outfit. I find it, INSANELY attractive when my female friend dresses as a party clown. The shoes and nose are especially important, the reason being that, one..the big floppy shoes keep me entertained while she's licking my partydong, two, I like it when they wear the nose that makes the squeaky noise when you squeeze it, it FLOATS MAH BOATS. So as her face slams into my perfectly manicured dudehedge (I trim, unlike most dirty monkey members) I get to be entertained by both, hilariously oversized shoes..and a bonking noise. It really sets the pace for the blowjob, some people use music...but, it gets a little old.

The makeup is also important, I like a fun style party clown...not like, a juggalo or like, a sad clown. Sometimes I like it when she looks sad after, but that's entirely because I didn't tell her I was going to cum, and she's covered in semen. I LIKE THE SADNESS TO BE GENUINE. Focus on that, dudes love it when chicks are legit.

Also, I like it when they beg me to finger their buttholes. I usually use a sharpie, since I like going the minimal amount of effort, also..smelly fingers are gross. A fun game I like to play during an unusually long and tedious polesmoking, is to hold up a canvas behind the sharpie lodged in their butthole and let it draw a picture..sometimes I add many colours.

I currently sell them on ebay, it's a pretty booming enterprise.

So, that's how I like it for the most part. Be careful though, we have a lot of like...weirdo members on this site that are into some pretty fucked up shit...so, be prepared for some answers to be..lol..A LITTLE UNCONVENTIONAL.!

Take care.


5*

This question has now been thoroughly answered, thanks Honda!

After Honda's answer I really can't add much of anything, although I did laugh ridiculously, partly cuz it was hilarious, and probably partly cuz I'm half lit, either way sorry I have nothing more to add.

seeing as I'm married and all(hang), I've got no recent first hand experience to share with you

so with a little help from google and xhamster, please peruse the following video links

http://xhamster.com/movies/154528/im_going_to_show_valerie_how_to_give_a_blowjob.html

http://xhamster.com/movies/1104820/how_to_give_a_world_class_blowjob.html

Quote:

Originally posted by the_kevin1

seeing as I'm married and all(hang), I've got no recent first hand experience to share with you
so with a little help from google and xhamster, please peruse the following video links

I need to forward those two links to my GF

And to add something to the question: Pretty much everything is said. I just want to emphasize that one of the most important things is that you have fun as well or at least it looks like you do
It really turns me on if it looks like my GF can't stay off my cock.

Honda pretty much hit this one out of the park but I disagree about the music. I think this would go well with floppy clown shoes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0I6mhZ5wMw

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

Also, I like it when they beg me to finger their buttholes. I usually use a sharpie, since I like going the minimal amount of effort, also..smelly fingers are gross. A fun game I like to play during an unusually long and tedious polesmoking, is to hold up a canvas behind the sharpie lodged in their butthole and let it draw a picture..sometimes I add many colours.

Quote:

Originally posted by ashleybmodeling

Hey guys!!! I have a question what do you prefer? When you are having oral administer to you do like travel to the base, playing with the head, no hands, or what? Need new ideas to improve skills.

Travel to base slow licks/sucks up and down...yes. Popsickle analogy is good.
Play with head a bit but take it easy...head of my penis is very sensitive (almost painful at times...kinda like my wife equates to her clit) and I tell the missus to go easy there sometimes. I kills me watching some gals go rough on them but to each their own.
Hands used with moderation as I want a blowjob not a hand job and again, easy at the tip. No hands...quite a turnon and she has to use lips and tongue skillfully instead.
Nibbles,sucks and licks on the underside of the head is most sensitive and my wife has brought me to orgasm just by slowly orally working this area...again, easy does it.
Hope this helps.

Quote:

Originally posted by FeFeHumHum

...

The ladies love the arts and crafts!

I don't know about all the details and such, because I'm awful at giving blowjobs I think (I would rub the underside of the head along the stubble of my beard. I think bros would appreciate that), but what I do know is that if you're pulling his dick outta your mouth and it's not making a popping sound like so:

[youtube]ZG3KB_V00FI[/youtube]

you're doing it wrong.

Just remember, EL's Rule of BJs: Make a popping noise as you pull the wanger outta your mouth. The rest should just figure itself out.

Quote:

Originally posted by EricLindros

(I would rub the underside of the head along the stubble of my beard. I think bros would appreciate that)

She should just put it in her butt instead.

Now that Honda has covered clowns...



and asshole art...

http://i.backpackgnome.com/14514996714d69178510c305.54268097.jpg

there is really only one thing left to address, techniques: including but certainly not limited to the following examples,

1. The drowning baby duck - personified by a typically shallow throated cheerleader type lass who God love her, is trying hard and shows great enthusiam but ends up making a somewhat odd half quack/half choking noise on every downward thrust. Sort of like ...gack, ...gack, ...gack, ...goo!

2. The Gaylord Perry a/k/a "the spitter" - personified by a girl who has watched a few pornos but skipped the years of actual practice needed to fullly appreciate the fine art of spitting on a dude's erect penis. So she ends up either spitting all over your stomach and then trying to drag it back into the field of play with her tongue or accidentally pulling up a big nasty loogie that should never have been pulled up whilst a hard penis is in the room needing attention. Practice makes perfect ladies!

3. The starving baby bird - the perfect blend of eager anticipation with the desire and fortitude to swallow your man's dick like it is carrying life sustaining nutrients in the base of your nut sack. If you can pull that off, you will not hear complaints...


Edited for Work-safe lounge, bro

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

...Biggest misconception girls seem to have is that it's all about the blowjob itself, it's about the experience....

Hey guys thanks for the tips …. I’ve never thought about treating it as an event I was so focus on doing different “tricks”… lmao I don’t know about the clowns (they kinda freak me out)

Quote:

Originally posted by rower41

...

Travel to base slow licks/sucks up and down...yes. Popsickle analogy is good.
Play with head a bit but take it easy...head of my penis is very sensitive (almost painful at times...kinda like my wife equates to her clit) and I tell the missus to go easy there sometimes. I kills me watching some gals go rough on them but to each their own.
Hands used with moderation as I want a blowjob not a hand job and again, easy at the tip. No hands...quite a turnon and she has to use lips and tongue skillfully instead.
Nibbles,sucks and licks on the underside of the head is most sensitive and my wife has brought me to orgasm just by slowly orally working this area...again, easy does it.
Hope this helps.

I take pride in not using hands and being able to travel to base....

I have another question…. What are you guys using for performance? I been giving my husband a certain brand for about seven months and I am not happy with the results so what are you guys using?

I use cocaine.

Jesus H. Christ is all I need.

Praise his name and *POOF* biblical boner.

If that doesn't work the dudes probably gay, and ya know Jesus does NOT like the gays.

Biblical boner.






Winning.