So uhh...I turned down some sex last night.
I think this makes me either gay, or I'm actually cracking up. I'd get into a post and express my feelings, and ask for general opinions from my friends, but you know....it might make people sad, so, I should just go back to loling.
lol.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KNpn-XGM04&feature=related[/youtube] where the chick licks the ipad i lold
Here be Honda life story...look away if you're afraid of reading something longer than two sentences, and not a funny gif.
I lied.
Soo uhh, I was talking to Ramsann...and we had like, a broversation. I was telling her about this girl I had been talking to, who I was going to have sex with.
This girl and I had hung out and done some kissy shenanigans...and it all felt very, bland.
Like, shes pretty, and a good kisser and was fully looking to hop on my cock.
So, I explained to her I no longer have feelings. She looked me puzzled briefly, like I was just being an asshole, or a "John Mayer". So I got around to explaining. Right now, in life...it feels like I'm floating in a pool of lukewarm water, getting pushed around by the breeze. I flirt every chance I get, but I have no interest in the outcome, I do it just to make myself feel better. Like, if the girl tells me to fuck off, or she wants to blow me (as an example, noblowmo) I don't care even the slightest either way.
Like, I've lost my ability to feel most things. Usually when you kiss a girl you find attractive there is a rush. You become lost in anticipation for what will happened next... The girl, subtly mentioned more than once she wore a dress sans panties.
(I cleaned my seats this morning, what an asshole)
But I had no interest in sleeping with her. I had to let her down easy...which hilariously, went fucking poorly, more on that later.
I mean, when I'm at my place, on my own or with my new acquaintances, I'm pretty happy..they're all nice, and I enjoy listing to them to try to learn what kind of people they are. It's pretty fun and I'm enjoying it, I hope over time my ability to give a fuck, even slightly comes back.
Like, I wish I were sad. Sadness is something I can understand, I'm just..floating. I though it was my ex, it's not..it's just, weird. I used to get nervous, and worried and like...feel. I don't care what happens in any situation. It's making people like me more, girls especially, since I have no interest in fucking them, or impressing them. I'm just sitting there..saying what I actually feel.
I think I'm turning a corner in life that's going to make it a lot easier, I think I'm remembering what it felt like to be me. I used to be kinda mean, and then I got all jacked up in the land of teddy bears and cheap smiles. I recently described it to someone like I was getting out of rehab, but it's more like getting out of jail.
Back to last night, in my pulp fiction series of stories within stories, I call it, failception.
So, I mention to the girl I was with I have to go, because I have plans with another girl. I told Ramsann I would chat with her at 11pm her time lol. So, girl I'm with, who I talked with the majority of the night, trying to explain to her I'm just not... I'm not going to be a boyfriend, I'm not going to care...she's not going to change me, I will be cold, distant and I will let her down, and break her heart. Which is around the time when she (as a girl, playing girl games) explained to me how were the exact same. She hasn't had a boyfriend in like a year, because she's all about unfeeling, casual...just, cool sexy hangout times. This was a lie, she had desperation in her eyes that would make Overly Attached Girlfriend go all cockeyed.
Then shit went poorlyier....(fuck spelling, what!?).
Girl: So who is this girl?
Honda: A friend.
Girl: Some skank you're going to bang?
Honda: I wish..(IRL lol'd...because of the ridiculousness of the situation)
Then her eyes kinda went all....explody, like Ron Burgands eyes when Corningstone tells him he has stupid hair.
Then she started like, apologizing for asking. Like, half laughing. So, long story short..I think Ramsann randomly helped me dodge a bullet that would have ended up keying my car and painting my dog.
So yeah, interesting little story...it's not for everyone. Also, I mentioned Ramsann because it was kinda part of the story, but Ramsann will not read this, which makes it funnier.
So yeah, other than my emotions being slightly damaged..I'm having some fun and adventures again.