MegaMillions - What would you do?

You may or may not be aware that the current MegaMillions lottery jackpot in the United States is now up to a world record $540,000,000.00.



That's some real 'fuck you' money, as they say.

So, if you win that motherfucker, what would you do with it?

Would you take the lump-sum payment (~$389,000,000) or would you take the 26 annual installments of ~$20,800,000?


Would you pile that dough up and swim through it like Scrooge McDuck?



(Hint: Coins are hard. Might not want to do that)

Would you squirrel it all away and save forever or spend it all on a Bill Gates like 150 million dollar house?

Or, would you do the old standard, waste it all on hookers and blow?




What would you do, bros?

Personally, I think at this level I take the annual payments. You get more money and the annual payments are basically equal to winning a big lottery each year for 26 years. That shit is Bananas.


After that I don't know. I'd buy some crazy shit, for sure, but I'd also put some away, like under my mattress or in a box in the back yard.

I'm pretty sure I'd buy a Ferrari though. Also a house at the beach. And then put the rest in some low-risk securities. Some Treasury bonds, some commodities, some shares, etc. A nice diversified portfolio, you know? And hookers. Lots and lots of hookers.

The first thing I'd get is a good tax attorney.

I would also take the annual payments. Since it's pretty unlikely I could blow through 20 mil a year. Although the interest on the lump sum over my lifetime....I dunno.

Either way. Lindros and I have had this conversation. I do not think I could handle that much money. Where as a sane person would be all "man, buying my parents a house in the south of France sounds nice" I would be all "FERRARI CRASH UP DERBY!!!!!"

I would be just awful, like I said...we've discussed this to great lengths. Maybe Lindros went and got mature...I went and got kinda depressed, but still equally immature and retarded.

I would go into Wal Mart and pay fat people to sumo wrestle.

I would buy every house in a subdivsion, bulldoze the homes, and build a racetrack.

I would pay guys to kiss.

I would go on opening night to movies and purchase all the tickets so I could sit without teenagers all around me. I would bring hookers.

Fuck, I would take hookers everywhere. I wouldn't even fuck them, I would make them carry me around and shit.

It would just be the worst. I would go into car dealerships, buy all the cars, and then just throw keys at people. Like, I know I would..I know me. In my life I have had real life, smithers vs burns money fights. So, me with millions and millions....I don't even. I would pay nursing home employees to race the elderly in wheelchairs.

I would put up billboards with like, weird advertisements....for stuff that doesn't exist, like hoverboards....and have the URLs direct you to sites I would also make, which would then show you a time line for when I assume these things will exist. "Check back often, I have a good feeling about 2020" just to piss people off. I would pay feminists, those really hard nose super man hater feminists to get naked for me....just because their disgust would make me laugh. (everyone has a price).

Just, general stupid shenanigans until someone had me killed. I would break up marriages in Indecent Proposal style situations. Just because it would amuse me. I would buy this site, I would give away millions to the bros on here I like, so we could have a place to post said shenanigans.

I would just throw handfulls of cash at people.

I would get a suit made of $1000 bills. Then purposely spill shit all over it, infront of the person that made it for me. "Sir, you probably shouldn't be having a mustard fight with that naked girl riding a donkey while wearing that suit."

Long story short...fucking insane. I would try to talk people into doing cocaine at my parties, and then lol at them for being cokeheads once they're high. "you're not having any coke?"..."nah, I'm not a failure at life bro....ENTERTAIN ME!"

Just, yeah..I don't even. I would hire b-actors to star in movies I make myself with handycams, all of us wearing ridiculous fake mustaches...movies with retarded plots and nonsense:

"No no, in this one, Lindsay Lohan kicks open the door to the orphanage, throws in a grenade and then says "go fish""

"Why would she do that, what did the orphans do?"

"DUH..they're not orphans, they're robots pretending to be orphans in an elaborate plot to rape the president."

"I..I ....what?"

"Here's some money, say the fucking lines."

Oscar gold.

Also, I would have like, everyone around me on hardcore drugs, then stop buying it for them for lulz.....I would probably buy Lindros Lindsay Lohan, just so he could give her long speeches about how hot she used to be, and how disappointed in her he is.

I can go all day....I can never, never be hella rich, never. The would just would not have it.

I was going to end this with something like "But, in all seriousness..I would probably invest wisely."

I WOULD NOT DO THAT, I WOULD DO EVERY GOD DAMN THING ON THAT LIST.

Wow, someone finally got inspired.

Eh, I figured Lindros went though all the trouble of making a thread, the least I could do is give a solid reply.

I have purchased 2 tickets, if I were to win I probably wouldn't be able to spend a dime of it, the scenario would go like this...

Drawing is held...

Demo checks his ticket...

Demo wins 540 million dollars...

Demo's woman calls 911...

Demo's woman tells dispatcher Demo stopped breathing...

Demo is pronounced dead at the hospital...

Demo had a heart attack...

First thing I would do: Move to Switzerland. And become a resident there. You have 365 days to claim your winnings, on the 364th day, I would return to the States, and present the winning ticket, and pay NO income tax.

Would do my best to help others, set up a bigger company and give people jobs. Help homeless families.

Quote:

Originally posted by Diz-X

Would do my best to help others, set up a bigger company and give people jobs. Help homeless families.

Well done Diz-X !!

Quote:

Originally posted by ludwigking

First thing I would do: Move to Switzerland. And become a resident there. You have 365 days to claim your winnings, on the 364th day, I would return to the States, and present the winning ticket, and pay NO income tax.

Yeah, I'm not a tax attorney or anything, but I'm pretty sure that won't work.

I just saw this on twitter, and it's awesome.....You know what would be awesome just as the biggest troll in the world?

If Casey Anthony won the MegaMillions!

All excellent ideas, especially Demo having a heart attack (good one).

I'd probably buy myself new boat to park next to my private island. Then, a lot of hookers and blow. I don't think I even have the capacity to imagine spending 500 mil. I'd give a bunch of it away I guess but to people who deserve it. (hookers)

If I fill a big building with cash, would I drown if I attempted to swim in it?

I would take care of my family, buy the most expensive car in the world, buy a big ass house, take endless trips around the world, and give some of it away.

I just bought my tickets!!! wish me luck!!

Go into politics to piss every one else off.

I would wear a crown.

I'd do this... from Office Space (1999)


Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: Well, what about you now? What would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well, yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I would relax... I would sit on my ass all day... I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin: he's broke, don't do shit.

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

I would wear a crown.

scepter and cape too? or is that too much?

Breaking news: It's due to such high fucking demand the jackpot for tonight's drawing is now: $640,000,000.

Two chicks at the same time!!! i figure you can pull that off with that kind of coin!