I'm in a delima....

your main problem, to me, seems you can't tell why your g/f is angry with you. why is she so unhappy? have you got any clue or are you guessing? you nééd to know!
I'm not saying you need to stick with her because of the child. I myself come from a broken home and eventhough I'm a sexaddict, I turned out allright I think. I think....

personally I think you should try to find the reason why she's doing the things she does, like with the phonenumbers. she's obviously trying to make you jealous. act jealous then, since you clearly are (the "WTF!!" gives you away ). get under her skin, in a good way. know what she thinks and why she acts the way she does and work with that. at least TRY to make the relationship work in sake of the child. it seems to me you still have some hope as you clearly can't decide what to do. try make it work and if all else fails, pack your bags and leave.

BUT! be the man that you're supposed to be and take care of your daughter! I literally dispise ppl who don't take care of their own kids. she's your offspring, make sure she turns out allright.

good luck buddy.
CK

The great ck has spoken

To bring up something really simple, since she just had a baby and women often feel they are no longer desirable after giving birth (their bodies have changes, they feel tired and worn out, etc.). Maybe the phone numbers are a way to tell you that other guys think she's sexy and she wants to hear it from you.

Okay I just gotta throw this in here......I am just REALLY glad I have never done anything like this (married too early, had unplanned kids, let alone ANY kids) to FUCK UP my life beyond all recognition. Just split from thsi bitch you had the kid with, it ain;t ever going to work. Start with the shild support and define the relationship with your daughter, then feel free to date. In the mean time, are you sure you should be dating before you deal with this noise? Priorities, man.

Anyone got $700 laying around for my vasectomy? Anyone......?

you need to become a man and make shit work. this is why the devorce rate in this country is insane. you have a child with a girl and think it is a burden by paying the child support. thats a kid dude she dnt need your money. she needs a father with a head on his shoulders so she dnt make the same mistake that you made

Quote:

Originally posted by Vagrant

I'm forever amazed people have sex, produce a child, and then can't work with each other for the childs benefit... something isn't right.

sounds like this woman's entire point in having a relationship with this guy was to get child support.
Man I take back what I said about being in simular situation. However I can tell you that she has no interest in you anymore.
I say fight the fucking system and take the kid yourself. your best defense is that'll she'll be to busy whoring herself out to the world to take care of the kid. pick up the numbers and keep em and then use them against her.

I see good spelling wasn't your dilemma

I think you need to do what makes you happy, i.e. getting away from that bitch, but it's also important to make sure you still spend time with your child as these formative years are the most important years in their development.

I honestly dont know what makes her so mad all the time. I understand that she just had a kid and her body changes. But her belly is starting to get so tight and she has just lost so much weight. She looks normal. I think its her hormones. I hope so. But last nite she came in, spent all day at her friends house, and then wouldn't even talk to me. Wouldn't give me a hug or nothing. Just went strait to bed and left me all alone. She didnt even want me touching her when I went to bed. Its so freakin bogus. She treats me like crap all the fuckin time. I guess she's got it in her head that I have a kid with her and am obligated to stay with her forever.

O and I do have a head on my shoulders. I have a college eduction and a damn fine job. I also pay all the bills and cook supper and wash clothes and take care of the house. But yet she still is pissed all the time and I have her spoiled.

I dont want it to come down to me leaving, but it seems like its the only way for things to be right. I dont I'll miss seeing my daughter, thats unfortunate for her. Its unfortunate for me, but nobody can force a relationship to work.

Im not gonna spend 15 years of my life married to someone that I can't get along with and be happy with just for the sake of my child. Thats not fair to me.

Tonite wasn't any better. She's in bed right now and hasn't spoke to me since I left for work this morning.

Its been like this for almost 2 weeks now. It got worse this week.

Ask a couple of her female friends out for a drink, see if they can enlighten you.

Quote:

Originally posted by BlackZ-4x4

But yet she still is pissed all the time and I have her spoiled.

There's a word for this: pussywhipped.

Quote:

Originally posted by BlackZ-4x4

I dont want it to come down to me leaving, but it seems like its the only way for things to be right. I dont I'll miss seeing my daughter, thats unfortunate for her. Its unfortunate for me, but nobody can force a relationship to work.

Im not gonna spend 15 years of my life married to someone that I can't get along with and be happy with just for the sake of my child. Thats not fair to me.

Tonite wasn't any better. She's in bed right now and hasn't spoke to me since I left for work this morning.

Its been like this for almost 2 weeks now. It got worse this week.

if your daughter doesn't pick up on this yet, she will soon, regardless of her age. Yes, you want to try to make it work, but if you've done all you can do, I'd say its time to get out. Kids know, and I think its better for them to grow up with parents that are no longer together than live in a hateful place.

just my 2 cents.

You should strive for happiness but not shirk your duty. You say you don't want to answer to anyone and have your freedom, well time to grow up. What I mean by this is time to make major decisions and stick with them irregardless of consequences. If you don't picture yourself in love with this woman then leave. Children should not grow up knowing that their parents aren't in love and make each other miserable. Make a clean break but not only pay child support, push for part custody so the child always has the natural father in its life. As far as the other girl or any other girl, don't get involved now. Don't even have sex with any other women, because you might be in this situation again. Just focus on being alone. Then when you have it worked out, date someone and fall in love, then get married, then start having kids. And your situation isn't that bad, there are some poor fools with 2 or 3 kids to different women and they still are out screwing around! Good luck. Oh and this may sound a bit odd on a website such as this, but pray for guidance.

Quote:

Originally posted by mrmisterme

You should strive for happiness but not shirk your duty. You say you don't want to answer to anyone and have your freedom, well time to grow up. What I mean by this is time to make major decisions and stick with them irregardless of consequences. If you don't picture yourself in love with this woman then leave. Children should not grow up knowing that their parents aren't in love and make each other miserable. Make a clean break but not only pay child support, push for part custody so the child always has the natural father in its life. As far as the other girl or any other girl, don't get involved now. Don't even have sex with any other women, because you might be in this situation again. Just focus on being alone. Then when you have it worked out, date someone and fall in love, then get married, then start having kids. And your situation isn't that bad, there are some poor fools with 2 or 3 kids to different women and they still are out screwing around! Good luck. Oh and this may sound a bit odd on a website such as this, but pray for guidance.

I wanna take back the comment I said. That I dont want to answer to anyone. Thats not true. I still have to, and yes I know I have to grow up. I have to. Its clear. Everything is just a wreck right now.

I dont want to date anyone. I want to be me and do nothing. I'll do nothing as long as it means not getting yelled at and being alone all the time.

Im not interested in anyone else. I know I said I was but that was just first time gitters. She is a nice girl and said some nice things, but it didnt mean anything.

I just wanted to come home to a caring girlfriend and a happy home. Here lately it aint been that way.

Quote:

Originally posted by SouthP@w

I honestly dont know what makes her so mad all the time. I understand that she just had a kid and her body changes. But her belly is starting to get so tight and she has just lost so much weight. She looks normal. I think its her hormones. I hope so. But last nite she came in, spent all day at her friends house, and then wouldn't even talk to me. Wouldn't give me a hug or nothing. Just went strait to bed and left me all alone. She didnt even want me touching her when I went to bed. Its so freakin bogus. She treats me like crap all the fuckin time. I guess she's got it in her head that I have a kid with her and am obligated to stay with her forever.

O and I do have a head on my shoulders. I have a college eduction and a damn fine job. I also pay all the bills and cook supper and wash clothes and take care of the house. But yet she still is pissed all the time and I have her spoiled.

I dont want it to come down to me leaving, but it seems like its the only way for things to be right. I dont I'll miss seeing my daughter, thats unfortunate for her. Its unfortunate for me, but nobody can force a relationship to work.

Im not gonna spend 15 years of my life married to someone that I can't get along with and be happy with just for the sake of my child. Thats not fair to me.

Tonite wasn't any better. She's in bed right now and hasn't spoke to me since I left for work this morning.

Its been like this for almost 2 weeks now. It got worse this week.

Just because you have a college education, a good job, pay the bills, cook dinner and wash clothes doesn't make you a wonderful boyfriend. I mean, yes those are all good things, but it seems that you and your girlfriend have communication issues. If you can't talk to each other, nothing will ever get better. For some reason you two were able to be intimate and produce a child so I hope to hell that it was out of love, meaning love existed at one point. A lot has changed for both of you, and you obviously didn't talk about what could happen and has happened. You both sound like you are closed off and don't understand how each other feels and the only way you can fix it is to talk, why is this so hard for people, they can fuck and produce kids but they can't talk to each other about their feelings or problems?!!! It's just sad. And the one who gets hurt is the kid, everytime, because their parents were too immature to discuss things like civil human beings. For your kids sake, suck it up and sit her down and open up a forum to talk to one another about what each of you is going through and how you feel and what you want to see changed, without yelling or being sarcastic, be civil! You need to be the man and do this, she probably feels that you don't understand her, and you don't sound like you do. Everyone seems to call her a bitch so easily without even knowing what she has done or feels. We only hear your side of it. You need to take some responsibility and bring things to her attention since she seems very closed off from you and you can't figure out why. Just saying she is mean to you and that you want to leave and pay child support is being immature, you need to really try before you just take off. Make a real attempt at communication first, stop bitching and make some changes. You two were "mature" enough to produce the child, now be mature enough to make the effort to be good parents unless you want her to end up like you! Do it for your little girl if you really love and care about her as much as you say you do.

BTW, why the fuck are you looking for advice on a site like this?!!!!!!

You're 22. I don't think you should get hitched. The hardest thing you have to be prepared for is that another guy will end up raising your daughter. Her mom is going to get married someday, and that guy will have at least as prominent a role in raising your little girl as you will.