Score: 3.50 Votes: 2
rate this

How to safely cruise for online porn in public and not get caught....a handy guide to keep you out of trouble.

Starter: nightowl613 Posted: 15 years ago Views: 1.9K
  • Goto:
#4408800
Lvl 13
Okay so first of all, I recommend you not do this. Getting caught doing this anyplace where there is free wifi will get you kicked out at least and the cops called on you at worst if someone complains. That being said, we all do it. I don't have the net at home and like most of us, I find it relaxing to come to this site or whatever site is on the menu and add some pics of hot naked flesh to my collection for the purpose of masturbaory browsing that night. Thsi activity can be done with a somewhat acceptabel margin of safety of you use common sense as I do. here is my guide to that activity

First, many places that have free wifi such as McDonalds and Borders book stores have a good enough signal to reach out in to their parking lot, so you can use your laptop from there in the comfort of your car. Be sure there is no likelihood passersby are going to walk past your car and see what you're up to.

If you're in a store or cafe or sitting where there are other people, the first thing you need to do is MUTE THE SOUND. Having a pop-up window appear uninvited in which a movie plays that features some buxom porn start moaning and she has a squirting orgasm is NOT hwat you want others hearing.

Bring up a window with some innocous subject matter in it, then shirink it a bit so you have some room at the bottom of the screen to see the desktop. Thenn open another window and make it so you can just see the top of that page with the porn on it below (but still on top of, so to speak) the one you already have open. You can't see much of that page with the porn on it, but that's a maatterof necessity. If someone walks by you, they'll have about two seconds to look at what you're up to, human nature being what it is, but they're likely to focus on the bigger window taking up most of the display rather than the spread-wide-open-like-a-thanksgivinbg-turkey nineteen year old whose image you are downloading. Also keep one large window open behind both of those, the top bar of which you can keep visible at the top of your screen so you can click on it in an emergency to cover up the other two.

When you find a picture you need to maximize to look at or download, open it ONLY in a new tab, so you can use the same smaller window to admire and download the pic. Scroll down just far enoujgh to see some of it and click on it and DL it. YOu don't need to see any more of it right now. You can look at the entire thing at home later and throw it out or keep it then. If you open it in a new page/window, it'll pop up huge and highly visible on your screen for all to admire.

If you use MS windows, when you step away from your machine, press the windows key and "L" to lock it, and set a password to unlock it. And do use a cable lock which can keep your computer from turning into someone else's computer. Lock thye handle of your laptop bag through thyat cable loop as well. All you don't need is for someone to steal that rig, get into the material on the drive and decide that that one girl getting banged by a gorilla seems a bit too young. Next thingt you know you have the cops at your door even if she wasn't underage. Not that we're into underage porn, but "underage" is a matter of opinion sometimes.

Always try to sit with yoru back to a wall so no one can see what you're up to. You may notice that in public places, laptop users consider such back-to-the-wall seats to be prime real estate and they're rarely open for you to sit in. That is because they're also cruising for porn.

If you are approached by staff and they say that they somehow detected from their connection's filter o rmonitor or whatever that you may be downloading porn, just say something about your computer having a problem with a virus that makes it look as though it's dl'ing that kind of thing even if it doesn't become visible in a window. That'll give you time to scram.

If you get a hard on when doing this in public, better to just nto cruise in publis. The country has such a fucking stick up it's as lately that such a thing could get you arrested. The country is so tightly wound now that in fact even breathing could get you arrested, but watch it about the erections.

That is all. Happy cruising!
#4408801
Lvl 28
Yeah, I'm not going to do any of that..

Neat though...bonus for some chaps.
#4408802
Lvl 59
#4408803
idk...It seems to me that the $19.95/mo (or whatever the cheapest dial up is worth) would be worth it.
#4408804
Lvl 40
Or you could just do it at home like most people
#4408805
Lvl 59
Quote:
Originally posted by BWT

Or you could just do it at home like most people


But how is he supposed to rub one out while eating some delicious chicken McNuggets watching grandma and grandpa steal little condiment packages to take home with them?
#4408806
Lvl 14
some one should make the how to on hiding all evidence on your computer, like making sure you clear out your recent files folder on your start up. or how to not have any history saved in your browser. or how to password protect certian folders. now thats what i need to know !
#4408807
Lvl 28
Mmm...condiments.
#4408808
Lvl 7
Kinda weird man. i doubt id be in a Mc D's, or outside a borders in my car checking porn





I probably wouldn't be looking at porn of any kind in public... unless i was at a titty bar
#4408809
Lvl 15
I started out in parking lots of wifi places with my laptop with my power inverter in my truck. I implement alot of the same tips you provide so its not new to me, but very useful. Also the burger kings around here have their wifi password protected..usually the password is their 10 digit phone number (in the usa). just a thought.
#4408810
Lvl 9
sounds like you've had some practice out in public dude
#4408811
Lvl 13
Hahahah I can't believe I just read that. Have you guys ever heard of Alt+Tab?
#4408812
Lvl 11
Quote:
Originally posted by fitbmx4130

some one should make the how to on hiding all evidence on your computer, like making sure you clear out your recent files folder on your start up. or how to not have any history saved in your browser. or how to password protect certian folders. now thats what i need to know !


My recommendation: create a different, password protected (windows) user account. That keeps all personal stuff like search histories, files, etc. seperated from your normal business.

Funny topic, though. I agree, it seems a cheap dial-up connection may be worth it
#4408813
Lvl 13
@Leevee: That is a very good idea. Thanks.

Everyone else: To get a dialup account, which no net provider even provides anymore, not even AT&T (go ahead and ask, I did). The age of dialup is over. You would also have to have a phone, which I don't need. Who the fuck has a landline anyhow these days as their personal line? I'm one of these gusy who uses his cell. Besides, it's not free porn, as they say, if you're paying for it. I define paying for something if, in any way, I have to take money out of my pocket of which I cannot immediately put back into said pocket.
#4408814
Lvl 59
The age of dialup is not over. Honda_X uses a dial-up as his main connection. ha
#4408815
Quote:
Originally posted by EricLindros

The age of dialup is not over. Honda_X uses a dial-up as his main connection. ha


I can't believe this still. I know he lives in some sort of industrial compound out in the sticks, but there has got to be 3G cell service out there by now. Internet stick or whatever you call them?
#4408816
Lvl 59
I've got a theory that his life is kind of like the movie Groundhog Day, and as such, technology and society never progresses. So he's stuck with a 1998 internet connection and Sonny & Cher's "I Got You Babe" comes on the radio at 6:00 every morning.
#4408817
Maybe he lives in a Amish settlement? You know...no technology and stuff.
#4408818
Lvl 59
Well, he does have a turbocharded Cadillac, so it's not liek he doesn't have a pimp life. It's just ONE DAY OVER AND OVER in a pimp dudes life.

And, he begins every morning with the 6:00am alarm going off to the sound of Sonny & Cher's "...Lift your little hand in mine...etc"
#4408819
Lvl 59
Starbucks will just turn that shit off on you: http://starbucksgossip.typepad.com/_/2010/09/this-isnt-the-right-way-to-deal-with-porn-surfing-starbucks-customers.html
  • Goto: