Well, I take that back. There is no moral dilemma about any of this. I am going to share with you a secret method that the real players, the guys who are always getting laid-use. This info will now be yours. Yeah I know this is long, but I promise you an entertaining read if you just stick with it. Intelligent commentary is welcome, and I welcome it from those who are players, those who have done what I am contemplating doing and those who have seen it work. I am going to tell you what I found out is a VERY easy way for a guy who at least has some game and isn't a burn victim to get laid almost every, single time, and to be able to pick out the girl to do it to like they were at a fucking smorgasbord. If you are just beginning your serious vocation at attempting to pick up chicks at bars and get laid, this is for you. Got your attention now? Read on.
Okay, so I am 40 and decent looking, mommy taught me how to dress, and my social skills are good enough for me to hold my own when I go out, though I am not an expert at getting women to fall at my feet, at least I can on occasion have them eating out of my hand. Usually I can get some positive response and flirting from girls anywhere between 32 and forty. Not too bad, really. They're still quite hot in that range. Plus I'm okay with kids, which helps. One would think that getting just plain laid, let alone being able to snag a date, wouldn't be impossible for me. ,This bar I hang at is where I normally go trolling or just drop in to have a beer and do some mingling. Yes, I am wide open to a relationship but for whatever reason, I'm not prone to being in them. I would love to meet that kind of women, and since this place is mostly populated by regulars and a generally clean and decent crowd, there are many relationship-worthy women who hang there. This is a bar/pub, not a club filled with drunken college kids. A sort of calm, neighborhood-y type of joint with some class. I wouldn't rule out meeting someone there who was datable. But II also admit there are far better places to go looking for relationships: cooking classes, libraries, volunteerism, etc. Yeah, I know that. On the other hand, especially with the weekend crowd, getting laid there should be in no way out of the question.
But getting picked up and just plain fucked is pretty nice too. "But Jeff, why would you want to be in a relationship with a girl like that?". Um, I didn't say the word "relationship" did I? Okay. I often get flirted with plenty...the arm grabbed, engaging conversation with reasonably hot women, and sometimes VERY hot women. So I think the question of physical attractiveness being the problem is ruleable-outable. As is lack of social skill, otherwise they wouldn't be talking to me at all and I'd develop a reputation pretty fast as someone who is better not talked to. Yet every single time I would swear I'm doing okay with a girl at a bar, and I mean every single time over the years.......they always take off with someone else in the end. Let me clarify: they take off with someone else who didn't put in the work finessing the subject or buying the drinks for the last two hours. By now it's a theme in my life. I just have that little problem closing the deal, and I have tried every....fucking.....thing under the sun. Maybe my problem is that I'm regarded as a "nice guy". But as we all know, the words "nice guy" translate to "not getting laid during this presidential administration". And really I just wouldn't even know where to begin with being an asshole. I have felt for years that I am absolutely helpless in, well, getting laid. And we do all need to get laid. Especially at least once every 7 years, and that is a current and rather kind estimate. I have finally faced the fact that there is nothing I can do-at least at the bars and other places where one can reasonably expect to get picked up and laid at least now and then-to get laid now and then. Everyone unless they are butt ugly or lack all game, deserves to get laid at such a place now and then. I just don't have anything else I can pull out of my ass. But I think I finally found what that thing-that superweapon- is, and I am going to discuss it in a minute. I am going to reveal The Monumental Secret. For real. And what guy hasn't wanted to just skip all the BULLSHIT with the buying the drinks with no guarantee she'll put out, the phone calls that go unturned, the time invested-sometimes weeks- and all the usual BS that comes from getting one simple screw.
But for now the (short version) of what went on last night needs to be told. I'm at the bar and walk up to the actual bar and find a group of people which looked somewhat together, and a couple of the women were holding Pomeranians. Yes, as in the dogs. So I walk up and pet the dog and before you know it we're discussing the dog and out own pets and so on. The girl I am mainly talking to is married, but that's cool. You see, she's the one who is going to refer you to her friends. So I make nice with her. Then I ask her about her cute little unmarried friend. She says the friend is single. I ask what the friend is into, what she does, the other essential details. She more than happily tells me. Then I move in, asking to hold the Pomeranian she was holding. Pretty soon it's going great. We're discussing our love of Thai food, her kid (always be sure to gawk at the pictures they'll show you. In fact, be preemptive and ask to see them). And in fact, I like her. We're genuinely hitting it off. Had I left with just her number and maybe a date to look forward to I woulda been happy with that. She said "Okay, so what would we do on a date?". I said "Thai restaurant, then drive around and take in some Christmas lights. That seemed to go over well. Right there I should have formalized the plans for the date and left. But the married friend said I was doing okay-and I was-so I hung out a bit. Excuse the fuck outta me for being human and getting my hopes up. Again. Which is stupid since every single last time, they will leave with someone else.
I go to get her a beer, and by the time I come back she's being flirty with a guy who just got there. I hadn't seen this guy before. Then she just takes off. Then the guy takes off about 30 seconds later. I don't know why they even bothered to stagger it. May as well have just said "We're going out to the parking lot to fuck" which is exactly what they did. The married friend said "I am all but sure he offered her coke and she's going to have sex with him for it now". Now for all of you who are about to say "But what would you want with a girl like that anyhow?", just shut the fuck up, okay? I wouldn't want anything to do with a girl like that, but up until I saw her walk out with some guy she met five minutes earlier, I can't say I had a lot of idea she was that kind of girl. And if she was, then I was the guy who deserved to get laid. I bought the drinks, I got flirted with, we all but fucking planned a g-damned date already!". Just imagine how I felt. Now imagine year and years of this bullshit, sometimes on a weekly basis. It leaves one feeling kinda hopeless, dejected and helpless. I mean five minutes! Tell me you wouldn't kill to have that going on. And when you feel like shitty, you are going to look for a solution.
Then it hit me. That loss of the potential of getting laid by that chick was a real kick in the ass. A real hard one. But I owe that guy a thanks. Because I realized something; when I need to know how to do something, I look at others who have done it to find out how I should do it. [b]This guy used coke or crystal to get laid. And it worked like a charm. On top of that, he could have probably fucked just about any girl in the place who gave any indication she was a player.[/b] It was a smorgasbord for him. It also hit me that this explains just about every last time this has happened to me over the years, at least at bars. Yeah there are women out there who have passed on me. It's going to happen, we all get that. But this....this shit.......happened all too often.
And this was why, this was one of the greatest, most illuminating a-ha! moments in my life. Most of us only have one or two of these that are worth a crap in our whole lives. This one, for me, is going to do down in history. Years of searching for an explanation are now over. ow it's all so very clear. Now I get that these guys do not, in fact,have Svengali-like powers of seduction. I always knew they couldn't be that good. No one is that good. It had to be something else. That something else is, well, either coke or crystal. So there, whether you like it or not, you have it.
To these guys who are using this secret, this equalizer, they don't need the fancy threads, the buying drinks, the hours spent finessing some chick just to get dick-stomped later that night. I've been doing that for ages. It doesn't work. Or at least it doesn't work enough. If this is what you're doing, stop it. You are wasting your time.
One reason I didn't notice this before is that this kind of thing is on the DL. This is not weed. It ain't a community thing. This is a hard drug. You don't advertise that you have it. Coke and crystal are not something you either advertise yourself as having or being so loose of a woman as to fuck some guy for it. But I can see how it's employed....you get in close with the girl, then you say something like "Do you party?" or "You look like you could use a pick-me-up". It's all code. You do not have to say "Wanna fuck for some blow out in my car?". Don't be indelicate. Being so could kill even a moment like this. No woman wants to be called a whore, so the least you can do is keep up the illusion she's not. Then when you get to the car or her place, you say like you're joking "This is where you convince me you're not a cop". The girl, I assure you, knows she's going to have to fuck for this. It is also no wonder that this has all been going on under my nose-no pun intended-for years and I didn't even know it. In fact when you think about it, I'd say that nowadays, any girl who gets picked up from a bar is doing it for some nose candy. I'd also venture to say that at the average singles bar, there are probably hundreds of guys who are holding some. Oh it is all so clear now.
So anyone who doesn't believe me or want to take advantage of this can go right on with this fantasy that being the nice guy, the charming guy, that that new Polo shirt you blew fucking $100 on, that fancy car you drive, that $50 in drinks you bought her are going to get you laid. They rarely will, but chances are you are throwing good money after bad. Nothing triumphs over some nose candy. Nothing. Five minutes from the meet to getting something done to his dick out in his car. Seriously, think about that. This chick could have had any guy in the bar, she wasn't short on looks, but she took off with the guy who had the party favors, and I went home to fuck my fist again. Those days are over. I've tired with the nice guy stuff, now I am going to do what works. Life is too short to waste on anything else. So I think you know without saying it what I am going to do. I'll be screwing the hottest single player girl in the bar and you can be one of the simpering clueless losers who goes home to blow his load into a hanky which can probably stand up on it's own by now.
Since this Epiphany, I have come to believe in something that is not true; that to get some action, you have to use substances. That seems to be the only explanation as to why or how any reasonably attractive woman will have sex with anyone these days. I am going by deduction here, I use deductive reasoning a lot and it serves me well. I have tried everything else. Everything, for the last twenty years. I have had sex with 21 women but none in the last 10 years. I have tried everything but this. So here it is. There couldn't be any other answer. The other thing that leads me to think this is that guys, women don't need us anymore for anything. They have their own money and cars, they know they can raise the kids without our help. You're obsolete. If you have any illusions that romance is alive, drop them and get back into the real world. Who says the women are even looking for it? All they need is something battery powered and as a species, you're officially useless. Man up. It's cold out there and we need an edge. They aren't playing fair with us, why shouldn't we have some advantage? This is the only reliable way you are ever going to get any on a regular basis. You are not starring in a movie, you are not Matt Damon and you are not going to ride off with Scarlett Johannson in the end. You need some help, and here it is.
Yeah I'll probably take a cooking class, keep my eyes open when I go to where I go to hang out when I'm not at the bars, keep asking married female friends if they "know anyone". There may be a relationship in my future. I'd jump at that and be true to that woman who I hope turns out to be the love of my life. That's for the very lucky few. In the mean time, I have other plans.
Has anyone here employed such methods, thought of it, feel I have given good advice and piqued your curiosity? Throw down, brothers.
And if you're married and going to say something smart about how you didn't have to do any of that, can it. Married/unsingle people think they're like these bearded wizened gurus sitting on some mountaintop dispensing advice to us, the single, enlightenment seeking villagers below. You lucked out and could have been out there in the cold for years like many of us. Had you not met that person, which was pure luck, you'd still be out there. And don't think that she didn't marry you because most people are fucking terrified of being alone. You can bet that factored into it.
Okay, so I am 40 and decent looking, mommy taught me how to dress, and my social skills are good enough for me to hold my own when I go out, though I am not an expert at getting women to fall at my feet, at least I can on occasion have them eating out of my hand. Usually I can get some positive response and flirting from girls anywhere between 32 and forty. Not too bad, really. They're still quite hot in that range. Plus I'm okay with kids, which helps. One would think that getting just plain laid, let alone being able to snag a date, wouldn't be impossible for me. ,This bar I hang at is where I normally go trolling or just drop in to have a beer and do some mingling. Yes, I am wide open to a relationship but for whatever reason, I'm not prone to being in them. I would love to meet that kind of women, and since this place is mostly populated by regulars and a generally clean and decent crowd, there are many relationship-worthy women who hang there. This is a bar/pub, not a club filled with drunken college kids. A sort of calm, neighborhood-y type of joint with some class. I wouldn't rule out meeting someone there who was datable. But II also admit there are far better places to go looking for relationships: cooking classes, libraries, volunteerism, etc. Yeah, I know that. On the other hand, especially with the weekend crowd, getting laid there should be in no way out of the question.
But getting picked up and just plain fucked is pretty nice too. "But Jeff, why would you want to be in a relationship with a girl like that?". Um, I didn't say the word "relationship" did I? Okay. I often get flirted with plenty...the arm grabbed, engaging conversation with reasonably hot women, and sometimes VERY hot women. So I think the question of physical attractiveness being the problem is ruleable-outable. As is lack of social skill, otherwise they wouldn't be talking to me at all and I'd develop a reputation pretty fast as someone who is better not talked to. Yet every single time I would swear I'm doing okay with a girl at a bar, and I mean every single time over the years.......they always take off with someone else in the end. Let me clarify: they take off with someone else who didn't put in the work finessing the subject or buying the drinks for the last two hours. By now it's a theme in my life. I just have that little problem closing the deal, and I have tried every....fucking.....thing under the sun. Maybe my problem is that I'm regarded as a "nice guy". But as we all know, the words "nice guy" translate to "not getting laid during this presidential administration". And really I just wouldn't even know where to begin with being an asshole. I have felt for years that I am absolutely helpless in, well, getting laid. And we do all need to get laid. Especially at least once every 7 years, and that is a current and rather kind estimate. I have finally faced the fact that there is nothing I can do-at least at the bars and other places where one can reasonably expect to get picked up and laid at least now and then-to get laid now and then. Everyone unless they are butt ugly or lack all game, deserves to get laid at such a place now and then. I just don't have anything else I can pull out of my ass. But I think I finally found what that thing-that superweapon- is, and I am going to discuss it in a minute. I am going to reveal The Monumental Secret. For real. And what guy hasn't wanted to just skip all the BULLSHIT with the buying the drinks with no guarantee she'll put out, the phone calls that go unturned, the time invested-sometimes weeks- and all the usual BS that comes from getting one simple screw.
But for now the (short version) of what went on last night needs to be told. I'm at the bar and walk up to the actual bar and find a group of people which looked somewhat together, and a couple of the women were holding Pomeranians. Yes, as in the dogs. So I walk up and pet the dog and before you know it we're discussing the dog and out own pets and so on. The girl I am mainly talking to is married, but that's cool. You see, she's the one who is going to refer you to her friends. So I make nice with her. Then I ask her about her cute little unmarried friend. She says the friend is single. I ask what the friend is into, what she does, the other essential details. She more than happily tells me. Then I move in, asking to hold the Pomeranian she was holding. Pretty soon it's going great. We're discussing our love of Thai food, her kid (always be sure to gawk at the pictures they'll show you. In fact, be preemptive and ask to see them). And in fact, I like her. We're genuinely hitting it off. Had I left with just her number and maybe a date to look forward to I woulda been happy with that. She said "Okay, so what would we do on a date?". I said "Thai restaurant, then drive around and take in some Christmas lights. That seemed to go over well. Right there I should have formalized the plans for the date and left. But the married friend said I was doing okay-and I was-so I hung out a bit. Excuse the fuck outta me for being human and getting my hopes up. Again. Which is stupid since every single last time, they will leave with someone else.
I go to get her a beer, and by the time I come back she's being flirty with a guy who just got there. I hadn't seen this guy before. Then she just takes off. Then the guy takes off about 30 seconds later. I don't know why they even bothered to stagger it. May as well have just said "We're going out to the parking lot to fuck" which is exactly what they did. The married friend said "I am all but sure he offered her coke and she's going to have sex with him for it now". Now for all of you who are about to say "But what would you want with a girl like that anyhow?", just shut the fuck up, okay? I wouldn't want anything to do with a girl like that, but up until I saw her walk out with some guy she met five minutes earlier, I can't say I had a lot of idea she was that kind of girl. And if she was, then I was the guy who deserved to get laid. I bought the drinks, I got flirted with, we all but fucking planned a g-damned date already!". Just imagine how I felt. Now imagine year and years of this bullshit, sometimes on a weekly basis. It leaves one feeling kinda hopeless, dejected and helpless. I mean five minutes! Tell me you wouldn't kill to have that going on. And when you feel like shitty, you are going to look for a solution.
Then it hit me. That loss of the potential of getting laid by that chick was a real kick in the ass. A real hard one. But I owe that guy a thanks. Because I realized something; when I need to know how to do something, I look at others who have done it to find out how I should do it. [b]This guy used coke or crystal to get laid. And it worked like a charm. On top of that, he could have probably fucked just about any girl in the place who gave any indication she was a player.[/b] It was a smorgasbord for him. It also hit me that this explains just about every last time this has happened to me over the years, at least at bars. Yeah there are women out there who have passed on me. It's going to happen, we all get that. But this....this shit.......happened all too often.
And this was why, this was one of the greatest, most illuminating a-ha! moments in my life. Most of us only have one or two of these that are worth a crap in our whole lives. This one, for me, is going to do down in history. Years of searching for an explanation are now over. ow it's all so very clear. Now I get that these guys do not, in fact,have Svengali-like powers of seduction. I always knew they couldn't be that good. No one is that good. It had to be something else. That something else is, well, either coke or crystal. So there, whether you like it or not, you have it.
To these guys who are using this secret, this equalizer, they don't need the fancy threads, the buying drinks, the hours spent finessing some chick just to get dick-stomped later that night. I've been doing that for ages. It doesn't work. Or at least it doesn't work enough. If this is what you're doing, stop it. You are wasting your time.
One reason I didn't notice this before is that this kind of thing is on the DL. This is not weed. It ain't a community thing. This is a hard drug. You don't advertise that you have it. Coke and crystal are not something you either advertise yourself as having or being so loose of a woman as to fuck some guy for it. But I can see how it's employed....you get in close with the girl, then you say something like "Do you party?" or "You look like you could use a pick-me-up". It's all code. You do not have to say "Wanna fuck for some blow out in my car?". Don't be indelicate. Being so could kill even a moment like this. No woman wants to be called a whore, so the least you can do is keep up the illusion she's not. Then when you get to the car or her place, you say like you're joking "This is where you convince me you're not a cop". The girl, I assure you, knows she's going to have to fuck for this. It is also no wonder that this has all been going on under my nose-no pun intended-for years and I didn't even know it. In fact when you think about it, I'd say that nowadays, any girl who gets picked up from a bar is doing it for some nose candy. I'd also venture to say that at the average singles bar, there are probably hundreds of guys who are holding some. Oh it is all so clear now.
So anyone who doesn't believe me or want to take advantage of this can go right on with this fantasy that being the nice guy, the charming guy, that that new Polo shirt you blew fucking $100 on, that fancy car you drive, that $50 in drinks you bought her are going to get you laid. They rarely will, but chances are you are throwing good money after bad. Nothing triumphs over some nose candy. Nothing. Five minutes from the meet to getting something done to his dick out in his car. Seriously, think about that. This chick could have had any guy in the bar, she wasn't short on looks, but she took off with the guy who had the party favors, and I went home to fuck my fist again. Those days are over. I've tired with the nice guy stuff, now I am going to do what works. Life is too short to waste on anything else. So I think you know without saying it what I am going to do. I'll be screwing the hottest single player girl in the bar and you can be one of the simpering clueless losers who goes home to blow his load into a hanky which can probably stand up on it's own by now.
Since this Epiphany, I have come to believe in something that is not true; that to get some action, you have to use substances. That seems to be the only explanation as to why or how any reasonably attractive woman will have sex with anyone these days. I am going by deduction here, I use deductive reasoning a lot and it serves me well. I have tried everything else. Everything, for the last twenty years. I have had sex with 21 women but none in the last 10 years. I have tried everything but this. So here it is. There couldn't be any other answer. The other thing that leads me to think this is that guys, women don't need us anymore for anything. They have their own money and cars, they know they can raise the kids without our help. You're obsolete. If you have any illusions that romance is alive, drop them and get back into the real world. Who says the women are even looking for it? All they need is something battery powered and as a species, you're officially useless. Man up. It's cold out there and we need an edge. They aren't playing fair with us, why shouldn't we have some advantage? This is the only reliable way you are ever going to get any on a regular basis. You are not starring in a movie, you are not Matt Damon and you are not going to ride off with Scarlett Johannson in the end. You need some help, and here it is.
Yeah I'll probably take a cooking class, keep my eyes open when I go to where I go to hang out when I'm not at the bars, keep asking married female friends if they "know anyone". There may be a relationship in my future. I'd jump at that and be true to that woman who I hope turns out to be the love of my life. That's for the very lucky few. In the mean time, I have other plans.
Has anyone here employed such methods, thought of it, feel I have given good advice and piqued your curiosity? Throw down, brothers.
And if you're married and going to say something smart about how you didn't have to do any of that, can it. Married/unsingle people think they're like these bearded wizened gurus sitting on some mountaintop dispensing advice to us, the single, enlightenment seeking villagers below. You lucked out and could have been out there in the cold for years like many of us. Had you not met that person, which was pure luck, you'd still be out there. And don't think that she didn't marry you because most people are fucking terrified of being alone. You can bet that factored into it.
* This post has been modified
: 12 years ago
