>New Liquor Label
>
>Due to increasing product liability litigation,
>American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's
>suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
>immediately on all containers:
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you
>wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
>think you are whispering when you are not.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major
>factor in dancing like a retard.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
>tell your friends over and over again that you love
>them.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
>think you can sing.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
>believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
>telephone them at four in the morning.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
>think you can logically converse with other members of
>the opposite sex without spitting.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
>think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in
>you getting your ass kicked.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
>roll over in the morning and see something really
>scary.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading
>cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees
>and lower back.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the
>illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and
>better looking than most people.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
>believe you are invisible.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
>think people are laughing WITH you.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a
>disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps
>of time may seem to literally disappear.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause
>pregnancy.
>
>
>Due to increasing product liability litigation,
>American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's
>suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
>immediately on all containers:
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you
>wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
>think you are whispering when you are not.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major
>factor in dancing like a retard.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
>tell your friends over and over again that you love
>them.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
>think you can sing.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
>believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
>telephone them at four in the morning.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
>think you can logically converse with other members of
>the opposite sex without spitting.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
>think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in
>you getting your ass kicked.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
>roll over in the morning and see something really
>scary.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading
>cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees
>and lower back.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the
>illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and
>better looking than most people.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
>believe you are invisible.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
>think people are laughing WITH you.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a
>disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps
>of time may seem to literally disappear.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause
>pregnancy.
>
