joke

what key opens all locks ? .... a pikey (watch snatch if u dont know)


whos next?

whats got four legs and a cunt on its back? ... a police horse

sry one more ....

have u heard of the new irish parachute .... it opens on impact


if u can do better post

ok I'll bite

what goes in stiff and hard and comes out limp and wet??













a stick of gum...

k i get the bite bit ...gum

Four Letters, ends in UNT and is female.

How do you keep a jackass in suspense ??






I'll tell you later....

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshy ground coffee."
I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"
She went on, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favourite biscuits and then makes love to me for half the afternoon."
I said again, "Well, why are you crying?"
She continued again, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favourite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m. "
I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"
She said, "I can't remember where I live.

A Corkman came home early one afternoon and just as he came in the door the telephone rang so he answered it.
'Who was that dear on the phone?' shouted his wife from the kitchen.
'It was a wrong number, darling', said the Corkman, 'some fellow looking for the Met. Office. He wanted to know if the coast was clear'.

oldies and moldy but, still fun !!

I'm out of the ones from the top of my head

keep it up (hope others do too!!



(and thanks sumo)

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

Quote:

Originally posted by J_A_W_Z

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

is that joke or advice


very good thx

Quote:

Originally posted by sumo999

...


is that joke or advice


very good thx

I guess a little of both

Quote:

Originally posted by J_A_W_Z

...
I guess a little of both

yes!!!

Why was Bugs Bunny caught in the Westinghouse Fridge?


-He was westing...

have u heard of the irish Abortion clinic it has a 9 month waiting list

I was standing one windy day across the street from a lady who was on the corner and obviously waiting for the light to change. A gust of wind came, blew her skirt up and everyone seen that she was wearing no panties. The oddest thing is she was only concerned with holding onto her hat.

So the light changed and eventually she was walking in my direction, before we passed I stopped her and asked, "Why on earth did you not hold your skirt down when that gust of wind blew by?"

She replied, "Well what's under my skirt is 50 years old and this hat on my head is brand new."

Quote:

Originally posted by daytona1990

I was standing one windy day across the street from a lady who was on the corner and obviously waiting for the light to change. A gust of wind came, blew her skirt up and everyone seen that she was wearing no panties. The oddest thing is she was only concerned with holding onto her hat.

So the light changed and eventually she was walking in my direction, before we passed I stopped her and asked, "Why on earth did you not hold your skirt down when that gust of wind blew by?"

She replied, "Well what's under my skirt is 50 years old and this hat on my head is brand new."

i'm moving to canada

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

Quote:

Originally posted by sumo999

...

i'm moving to canada

I don't want to get to personal or invade too much of your privacy but roughly where about? Which province?