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Inter Office Memo on Swearing in the work place

Starter: [Deleted] Posted: 17 years ago Views: 210
#3604760
Cursing at Work



Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to
complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this
type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the
critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when
communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative
'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and
information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2 TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.I
NSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3 TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4 TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5 TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6 TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7 TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8 TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9 TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10 TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11 TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12 TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13 TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14 TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15 TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16 TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17 TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18 TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You





Human Resources
#3604761
Lvl 9
This is hysterical.
#3604762
Lvl 59
I'm certain this isn't feasible.
#3604763
Lvl 21
thats not what this says http://www.whatboyswant.com/newsitem/4004
#3604764
Lvl 24
my office is so ridiculous with swearing

i think ill totally be fucked for any kind of REAL professional working office space. in fact whenever someone new comes to work here, its obvious theyre pretty weirded out with the amount of swearing in open discussions in the hallways and everything.




also, that memo couldnt be for my office.... they didnt even use the word cunt once :P
#3604765
Lvl 15
This wouldn't work at my office. If every other word isn't a curse word, everybody thinks your gay. Those fucking motherfuckers.
#3604766
Lvl 27
This should be in the joke thread, but its so funny and so true I think it deserves its own thread
#3604767
I put a real letter head on it at work and sent it around the office anonymously , people were asking me if i got one amd telling it was the funny, so i figured i would post it in its own thread


#3604768
Lvl 13
don't everybody do this in the fucking work place