I owe my mother...

my mother really did say most of these things and she meant them too

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"

26. My mother taught me about CHOICE.
"Do you want me to stop this car?"

Live simply,
expect little, give much.

ABD

You hit that one right. All the items listed brought back alot of memories. Sad to say, I use some of them today on my kids, lol

Good stuff!!

I owe my Mother too, as she taught me the Ten Commandments for reducing Stress:

1. Thou shalt NOT be perfect, or even try to be.
2. Thou shalt NOT try to be all things to all people, and spread thy self too thin.
3. Thou shalt leave things undone that ought to be done.
4. Thou shalt NOT criticise thyself for decisions that were made with out the benefit of hindsight.
5. Thou shalt learn to say 'No'.
6. Thou shalt schedule time for thyself, and thy supportive network.
7. Thou shalt switch off, and do nothing, regularly.
8. Thou shalt be boring, untidy, inelegant and unattractive at times.
9. Thou shalt NOT even feel guilty.
10. Especially, thou shalt NOT be thine own worst enemy, but be thy best friend.

OMG, ABD.. lol my mother says the same things