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Drafting Guys Over 60!

Starter: SydneySinbad Posted: 15 years ago Views: 1.0K
#4089024
Lvl 30
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-of-a-b....

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!!
You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!
#4089025
Lvl 22
I'd resign-up to save a kid !
#4089026
Lvl 15
There are so many benefits to this. Less veteran benefits since you won't live as long. Old men are happy to get away from the wife, even if it means dying. You've already accepted the fact that you are going to die and you don't really care if you do. Since you are old, you already hate everybody, especially if they are younger. Terrorists would be scared to death of old people.
#4089027
Lvl 30
^^ Now that is a great comment. I really appreciate ur valid comments. Ty.
#4089028
Lvl 28
Do it guys.

That would make a cool show, it would be like mixing M*A*S*H and The Golden Girls together into one super comedy, except instead of being funny, it's really sad.



I should join the army...I just really, really don't wanna kill people.

(yes, Canada has an army....kinda)
#4089029
Lvl 28
you don't even have to give my old ass a reason to kill someone, just point me in the right direction and tell me they drive cars in chicago... you will not be aible to stop me unless you kill me..(by the way, i drive a big truck in chicago and i hate everyone...)
#4089030
Lvl 29
This guy's ready!!



#4089031
Lvl 8
a kid with a gun, some pms girls that feet hurt, sniper jesus!!!, a texan, wife who is pissed cause her hubby went off to kill ppl, angry drunk old guy, his wife the gun toten granny some guy who is pissed at you cause those arnt his kids he is to old!, and angry pms woman!


#4089032
Lvl 8
all valid reasons right there!
#4089033
Lvl 30
mmmm. Now that is different. Ty for ur constructive pics.
#4089034
Lvl 14
I think this is a great idea. The goverment could then lose their stop loss policies too....... Older men wouldnt want to go home. (Nagging wife's!)
#4089035
Lvl 7
Lol Sniper jesus....also funny post thanks....