Threadkiller is busy feeding the ducks SPAM thread

you could write about floozies, you always have quite a lot to say on that subject.

Quote:

Originally posted by FeFeHumHum

you could write about floozies, you always have quite a lot to say on that subject.

Yeah, Kanzen just hit me with a reminder..Imma write about that.

i would like for you to write about where the fuck your wbw idol submission is, sir.

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

...

I'm digging your new catch phrase...needs more sassy black woman gif.

Or...needs more short bald guy who stole some TVs and shit on a video camera, sitting in his lawyer's office, overhearing a conversation.

A few nights back, I decided "yo dawg, you should slide off your fresh kicks, and play some Diablo with Kanzen." so, that's what I did. I sat down, fired up my gaming PC and slid deep into Diablo threez.




Then, the worst happened. I got a phone call from some floozie I'm sleeping with. She wanted to hang out...it really bummed me out. I only ended up playin D3 for like, two hours. I had to politely excuse myself..



..it was all bad. I roll out to a nearby town, my pants spent some time on the ground...and I returned home, saddened by the experience. I really enjoy playing Diablo 3 with Kanzen, and when time will allow, Bangles. So I kinda ditched them a little to go get frisky. I'm going to throw this flat out...this girl is cute, she's a cutie....but like, sleeping with her is similar to like, kicking a puppy. She constantly wants me to kiss her and she whispers cute little things in my ear....how much she appreciates me. Sadly, I just got out of a long term relationship, and my fucking style is closer to the, hair pulling, ass slapping...thumb poopering style.


What? People don't thumb pooper often? I mean't slapping..twice or something.



So, it's weird....I don't want romantic sex...you can tell every time we lock eyes she has feelings for me, and I feel dead inside...but that's a whole other story. Anyway, so after we finish up, and she got all the semen off her glasses....I decided to tell her that I'm just not really feeling it so much anymore, and that I think she's becoming too attached to me, and I'm a douche and like...gonna have a bad time. She thanks me for being honest, and then painfully (due to vagina, not just feelings) walks to her car and drives off into the night. As did I.


Her


Me


I return home, it's like 4am...my diabloing night..ruined. Also, I didn't take my boxers off because it was car sex and they smelled all like vagina and grossed me out.



The following night, game plan..THE SAME. DIIIAAABBBLLLOOOOOOO333333333

I take my pants off, grab a can of Pepsi and prepare my face for epic. (epic = tedious clicking).




Kanzen and I get on Skype, and start breathing heavily...due to the thrill of DIABLO 3. As the hour grows later, the texts come in faster. The basis of the texts.... "Honda, we're horny...come fuck us." now, you're sitting there thinking ""we're" what's all this then, Honda?!" yes.....girl invited me to come out, and I politely declined:

Quote:

Originally posted by Floozie

I'm gonna get drunk, come hang?

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda

Nah.

^^^

Politeness.



So, Kanzen and I are having a gigglefest. Yelling "America" a lot..and having a gay ol time.

Then once drunk, this girl and her friend....decide that if I come, it's on. Sexy times. Crotch grooovin. Booty time. Like...sex and stuff.



It's hard to describe exactly how I was feeling, but I gotta be honest..I wasn't feeling it. I don't know if it's because of the level of fun I was having playing Diablo 3 with Kanzen..but either way, Diablo 3 was the only three I was interested in at the time. (Plus, the friend wasn't overly attractive and might have been a ginger) Long story short, they were mad bros.



So..I read each text out as they came to Kanzen as we played, and we both lol'd at how desperate they became..I'm not a girl..but if I offered a dude myself, and my friend and he declined....man, I would be pissed off. They strangely weren't though, it just made them want me more. (I'm not from Louisiana but I'm clearly hot sauce)

Then the pics started coming..


Normally at that point I would have hopped in mah car and driven at 205miles an hour over there and went to pound-town (like a town, of...vagina pounding..I assume I'd be the mayor, or possibly sheriff) but sadly this wasn't a normal situation..I had already told Kanzen everything, and we were already laughing, so I couldn't just...leave. Kanzen and I were too busy making fun of how desperate they had become. He heard every text, I read each one out word for word. We lol'd the night away.



Then the realization hit me as we played....I was turning down a threesome to play Diablo 3. Which makes me either insane, or so badassly awesome I should have my own exhibit next to jet fighters and Lindros in the Awesomeness Hall of Fame.


Pictured: HoF


It's also bumped me up to such an incredibly unattainable level of cool in these girls books that I can basically have at with this plan whenever I want.


Not a single fuck was given.

I didn't find a single legendary weapon...but, Kanzen and I lol'ing the whole night was worth it.



America..fuck yeah.

I may have over giffed.

That is like a two paragraph story..

Things did get pretty sexy over Skype, I must say.

The gif's were as funny as the story, no over gifing was done during that post

I'm glad you enjoyed it dude...

Wow, best read of the day


Pound town, the mayor!!

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

I may have over giffed.

That is like a two paragraph story..

yeahhhh... didnt read that....

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

I'm glad you enjoyed it dude...

[ Image ]

I've seen epic used a lot, but there is not other word to express that post.

Quote:

Originally posted by EricLindros

Huuuuuuurrrrd that.

Really? Maybe you heard that because you're like 2 feet away from us.

(Or whatever.)

2 feet, oh noes...

I need at least 3 feet of personal space, else I get kinda freaked out.

People usually give me five feet.

Quote:

Originally posted by Ramsann

...yeahhhh... didnt read that....

TL;DR to your comment too buddy.

Quote:

Originally posted by FeFeHumHum

...


fucking re-up your sponsorship!!!!!

This is a Euro owned site right? Dutchies in charge and all.

Right now my membership status says: sponsor (0) but I still have the star and sponsor access. I'm not sure when it will run out and I will not have the sponsor access any more.

It's like a soccer match. I am in that goofy extra time in soccer where the clock time runs out but the game is still going on and NO ONE KNOWS HOW LONG IT WILL LAST!

In American (proper) sports when the clock hits zero we all high five and chest bump and hoist another beer in celebration of victory. Or we say "that sucks". and we hoist another beer or two.

In soccer they don't have that moment cause NO ONE KNOWS WHEN THE GAME WILL BE OVER!

No wonder they throw urine bombs and riot against the police and spend the night in jail.

I'll let you know when it actually runs out. Then I will riot.

I should ban you for the rest of your time, just to be a douche..

Quote:

Originally posted by hydrahead

...

This is a Euro owned site right? Dutchies in charge and all.

Right now my membership status says: sponsor (0) but I still have the star and sponsor access. I'm not sure when it will run out and I will not have the sponsor access any more.

It's like a soccer match. I am in that goofy extra time in soccer where the clock time runs out but the game is still going on and NO ONE KNOWS HOW LONG IT WILL LAST!

In American (proper) sports when the clock hits zero we all high five and chest bump and hoist another beer in celebration of victory. Or we say "that sucks". and we hoist another beer or two.

In soccer they don't have that moment cause NO ONE KNOWS WHEN THE GAME WILL BE OVER!

No wonder they throw urine bombs and riot against the police and spend the night in jail.

I'll let you know when it actually runs out. Then I will riot.

2 hours, 28 minutes from now.