Now this is a story all about how the space time continuum got turned, flipped upside down. I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell you all about how shit got fucked up beyond repair.
Note: This is the part where everyone looking for just chicks can like, go away not disappointed, since the rest of this post is rather chick free.
Many, many people have discussed time travel, with many different theories on how to do it, be it DeLorean, using the USS Enterprise to whip around a sun, and most recently, a Hot Tub. But those were simply tall tales meant to entertain people, and get Michael J Fox madd 80s pussy. This story on the other hand is true, so if you're not securely holding onto your nuts, well, you should probably like..do that.
The day started like any other, I woke up naked and handcuffed to a supermodel. When I heard a pounding on my door, "I think that's your door." said the supermodel...but I had long since been ignoring her when she wasn't nude. Since I couldn't find the key I had her throw a sheet over herself and follow me down the stairs. I opened the door and there was a man standing there in a long leather jacket. The black leather began to change colour as it reached the sleeves, giving the arms of the jacket the appearance they were on fire. "Can I help you?" I asked politely. "You don't know me, I was sent by Diz, I'm Kayradis." the man said as he slid his jacket off, to reveal his Nickelback tour T-shirt that was at least three sizes too small. "What's the situation?" I asked, with the most serious expression I could muster, considering at this point the supermodel was rubbing my crotch. "There's be an...incident, there's nobody left but you Honda, you're our last hope...unless you die or something, then we'll probably send someone important, like Jacob." said Kayradis, as he brushed a bit of what looked to be dried semen off the back of his white acid washed jeans.
"Whos Jacob?" I asked while picking the handcuff lock.
"He's the janitor.....but he's a super nice guy." said Kayradis after a few awkward seconds.
I rolled my eyes and kissed my supermodel lover, "Goodbye Hannah." I said heading out the door.."But...my name is Mira" I cut her off, "I don't care." I said as I closed the door.
The private jet was fueled up and ready to rock as I got to the airport. I had the stewardess throw Sherlock Holmes on the big screen, as I slid on my Hannah Montana footy pajamas...It was going to be a long flight.
I arrived at about seven or eight, and there was a car waiting for me, for once. "Things must really be bad" I thought to myself as I sat down in the back of the 1998 Honda Accord. We made haste to the WBW office in the heart of Dutchieland. "So, do you know much about whats going on?" I asked the driver..to which he held up a sign that said" I am a deaf mute." despite the fact I had heard him talking to the landing crew not moments before.
We arrived at the WBW office, the parking lot was full and I recognized the license pants on most of the Ferraris and Audis, but I was stumped by one Lamborghini. "LUV ANIME" was the license plate and I concluded it was Kanzen, then it dawned on me all this time that the crew had been living at the office, which was surprising. "Something big must be going on." I said to the driver as I exited the car.."Couldn't be bigger than Bangles ass." he said while laughing and driving off, I knew that fucker wasn't deaf.
There was an eerie silence as I made my way through the building, kinda like being at school on a Saturday. I decided to skip the boardroom and head right up to the R.A.D...if you're unfamiliar with the RAD..then read my stories more often you cock. Unfortunately it had been turned into a marijuana growing operation.
I turned around and headed into the boardroom, there was a post it on the table that said "Look on the back of the door." so I walked to the back of the door, and there was another posted, that said "Meet us in the lab"..."efficient as always boys." I thought to myself while heading to the elevator. A new button protruded from the panel almost as if it had been glued on, next to it written on top of white masking tape said "LAB" so I pushed it. Suddenly a retinal scanner popped out of the control panel. "please place eye in front of scanner" a voice said, to which I complied..the elevator made its way quickly into the basement, then stopped abruptly. "Hello, Mr.X, please prepare for genital recognition." said a more human voice, from what sounded like it was coming from the other side of the door. A small door in the control panel opened and a human hand stuck through it. "Please place genitalia on scanner." the voice instructed. "Ochie, open the fucking door." I yelled, the hand slowly backed out through the panel, and the door opened.
"Hey my buddy, how are you brofriend?!" said Ochie, sliding his hands into his pockets. "Fine, what seems to be the problem, when your errand boy Kayradis showed up at my place I was playing "Law and Order....and Fellatio." with a model friend of mine." I said while heading over to where Diz and Wortel were sitting. "It's bad Honda, you see, we like to stay a few steps ahead of the authorities here at our organization..and well, there has been an incident." said Diz. "You know, you could just stop doing insanely illegal shit, and acting like an all around evil badguy." I said as Wortel began "phase two" of his erotic ab dance. "You might be right my good friend, you might be right." Diz said as he picked up a red phone next to him.."Have the witnesses drown, then grind up the corpses and mail their eyeballs to their families." said Diz into the phone. "WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?" I yelled, he payed no attention to me as he threw dollar bills at Wortel.
"Inform him of the situation Ochie." said Diz in a passing manner. "Well, Mr.Honda..it's bad you see..real bad. Kanzen was working on something big..something real big." said Ochie. "Oh really, as big as Bangles gigantic ass?" I joked. "Not quite..but, we discovered something a few weeks back, something revolutionary. We have discovered how to travel through time, using..The Device." said Ochie, as I followed him around a giant sphere...then it slowly began to open.
I stepped back as a blue light filled the area. "This sends you back in time?..Really?" I asked in disbelief. "Yes, but it has a problem, a deadly problem!" he said dramatically. "Like what, everyone is lost in time?" I laughed, then as Ochie's expression went to one of sadness, I laughed harder. "Really, really Ochie? You guys built a time machine that just randomly sends bros back in time..really?" I asked. "Well, actually Kanzen built it..it's why I called it The Device..since it's real name is "World Destroyer" which is...depressing." said Ochie. "So, where are they lost? How am I going to get them? How do I get back?..What the fuck dude?" I asked, throwing up the hood on my limited edition Hannah Montana hoddie. "We'll, I think I've corrected the problem Honda...We sent them through two at a time, and this should send you back to the time and place we sent the last team, and then jump you to the time and place the team before that was sent...and so on." said Ochie. "You have no fucking clue do you?" I asked. "Most of what I used to figure this out came from an episode of Stargate Atlantis." said Ochie. "Brilliant...it's up to me, again..as always." I said, stepping up to The Device.
"Take this." said Ochie, as he threw me pack full of supplies. "Hit it, Ochdawg" I said while sliding on my trademark Hannah Montana sunglasses. "One problem Honda..you umm, you have to be nude or you end up inside out." said Ochie with a look of concern. "The last crew to go through were Bangles and Lindros...we can't be sure, but we think we might have sent them to medieval England..so you kinda, have to hurry Honda." Ochie said, waiting to hit the simple "Go" button on the control panel. I slowly took my clothes off and piled them neatly beside me, as I slid off my boxers...Wortel and Diz were now slowly rubbing each others nipples. "Just fucking hit it Ochie." I yelled. Ochie slammed his hand down on the button, and the sphere violently closed. It started to fill with lights, shooting from side to side, bouncing around the internal mirrored surface but coming from seemingly nowhere, beam after beam until the entire sphere was a flooded in blue light. I started to hear cracks that sounded like lightning and I lost my balance and fell to a knee, suddenly, I was surrounded by nothing but open field.
(Note: Like this, only sexier)
Things started to really fuck with my head in those few seconds, mostly things like..what if they sent me to basically anywhere in the world that has a language I don't speak, or you know..back in the day when people raped bros like me. I hear a women screaming in the distance, then remember I'm still nude. "Listen miss, I'm sure you're impressed and everything, but please stop screaming." I yelled as I start throwing on clothes like a bro after he had been caught by his friends fucking a chubby. I looked her up and down while trying to dress, she had her hair in a bun and was wearing a long dress and carrying a basket.
The woman turned and I finished dressing and threw my pack on. I walked over to her, the young girl still trying to cover her eyes. I tried to make out the time period based on her appearance. "This has got to be 1800s Europe." I thought. "Sorry about the nudity, it's a long story. This may sound strange and all that, but...what YEAR is it?" I asked. She looked at me puzzled for a few minutes "What?..It's 1998" she said still trying to stare at my dong through my pants.
"Did you see two guys come through here, dressed like me. They were likely very, very awesome." I asked. She explained I was on a farm just outside of Ohio and that something similar had happened a few days prior, two young men showed up disoriented and confused and that her parents let them spend the night, but threw them out shortly after they "had gone straight Eiffel Tower on her ass". (Threesome for you virgins out there...Chosen)
We had strict instructions not to change the past, and not to effect the time line in any way, or the results could be catastrophic, so I naturally assumed Bangles and Lindros were out stopping 9/11 and rigging sporting events. I asked the chick if she had any idea where they could be headed, but handed me a note addressed to me, which was strange. I tried to think of anything interesting that happened in 1998, but came up with nothing.
"Didn't windows 98 come out recently?..and Clinton got a BJ and all that?" I asked. "Yeah, the Clinton scandal is shocking, but..what's windows?" she asked. "Computer..windows operating system, Windows 98." she just looked at me weird until I walked away while opening the letter.
So, since I'm basically bored and dog sitting..I'm going to continue this story whenever I get bored. Despite how many TL;DRs and one star ratings I get..if you don't like it we have porn, so whateves. lol
..and, while your waiting for that, check out these similar, yet very different stories:
http://whatboyswant.com/forum_read/4620461/1/10/Last_Weekend_The_WBWCREW_Had_Our_Annual_Meeting.html
http://whatboyswant.com/forum_read/4879749/1/10/Last_Weekend_The_WBWCREW_Had_Our_Annual_Meeting_Vol2.html
Note: This is the part where everyone looking for just chicks can like, go away not disappointed, since the rest of this post is rather chick free.
Many, many people have discussed time travel, with many different theories on how to do it, be it DeLorean, using the USS Enterprise to whip around a sun, and most recently, a Hot Tub. But those were simply tall tales meant to entertain people, and get Michael J Fox madd 80s pussy. This story on the other hand is true, so if you're not securely holding onto your nuts, well, you should probably like..do that.
The day started like any other, I woke up naked and handcuffed to a supermodel. When I heard a pounding on my door, "I think that's your door." said the supermodel...but I had long since been ignoring her when she wasn't nude. Since I couldn't find the key I had her throw a sheet over herself and follow me down the stairs. I opened the door and there was a man standing there in a long leather jacket. The black leather began to change colour as it reached the sleeves, giving the arms of the jacket the appearance they were on fire. "Can I help you?" I asked politely. "You don't know me, I was sent by Diz, I'm Kayradis." the man said as he slid his jacket off, to reveal his Nickelback tour T-shirt that was at least three sizes too small. "What's the situation?" I asked, with the most serious expression I could muster, considering at this point the supermodel was rubbing my crotch. "There's be an...incident, there's nobody left but you Honda, you're our last hope...unless you die or something, then we'll probably send someone important, like Jacob." said Kayradis, as he brushed a bit of what looked to be dried semen off the back of his white acid washed jeans.
"Whos Jacob?" I asked while picking the handcuff lock.
"He's the janitor.....but he's a super nice guy." said Kayradis after a few awkward seconds.
I rolled my eyes and kissed my supermodel lover, "Goodbye Hannah." I said heading out the door.."But...my name is Mira" I cut her off, "I don't care." I said as I closed the door.
The private jet was fueled up and ready to rock as I got to the airport. I had the stewardess throw Sherlock Holmes on the big screen, as I slid on my Hannah Montana footy pajamas...It was going to be a long flight.
I arrived at about seven or eight, and there was a car waiting for me, for once. "Things must really be bad" I thought to myself as I sat down in the back of the 1998 Honda Accord. We made haste to the WBW office in the heart of Dutchieland. "So, do you know much about whats going on?" I asked the driver..to which he held up a sign that said" I am a deaf mute." despite the fact I had heard him talking to the landing crew not moments before.
We arrived at the WBW office, the parking lot was full and I recognized the license pants on most of the Ferraris and Audis, but I was stumped by one Lamborghini. "LUV ANIME" was the license plate and I concluded it was Kanzen, then it dawned on me all this time that the crew had been living at the office, which was surprising. "Something big must be going on." I said to the driver as I exited the car.."Couldn't be bigger than Bangles ass." he said while laughing and driving off, I knew that fucker wasn't deaf.
There was an eerie silence as I made my way through the building, kinda like being at school on a Saturday. I decided to skip the boardroom and head right up to the R.A.D...if you're unfamiliar with the RAD..then read my stories more often you cock. Unfortunately it had been turned into a marijuana growing operation.
I turned around and headed into the boardroom, there was a post it on the table that said "Look on the back of the door." so I walked to the back of the door, and there was another posted, that said "Meet us in the lab"..."efficient as always boys." I thought to myself while heading to the elevator. A new button protruded from the panel almost as if it had been glued on, next to it written on top of white masking tape said "LAB" so I pushed it. Suddenly a retinal scanner popped out of the control panel. "please place eye in front of scanner" a voice said, to which I complied..the elevator made its way quickly into the basement, then stopped abruptly. "Hello, Mr.X, please prepare for genital recognition." said a more human voice, from what sounded like it was coming from the other side of the door. A small door in the control panel opened and a human hand stuck through it. "Please place genitalia on scanner." the voice instructed. "Ochie, open the fucking door." I yelled, the hand slowly backed out through the panel, and the door opened.
"Hey my buddy, how are you brofriend?!" said Ochie, sliding his hands into his pockets. "Fine, what seems to be the problem, when your errand boy Kayradis showed up at my place I was playing "Law and Order....and Fellatio." with a model friend of mine." I said while heading over to where Diz and Wortel were sitting. "It's bad Honda, you see, we like to stay a few steps ahead of the authorities here at our organization..and well, there has been an incident." said Diz. "You know, you could just stop doing insanely illegal shit, and acting like an all around evil badguy." I said as Wortel began "phase two" of his erotic ab dance. "You might be right my good friend, you might be right." Diz said as he picked up a red phone next to him.."Have the witnesses drown, then grind up the corpses and mail their eyeballs to their families." said Diz into the phone. "WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?" I yelled, he payed no attention to me as he threw dollar bills at Wortel.
"Inform him of the situation Ochie." said Diz in a passing manner. "Well, Mr.Honda..it's bad you see..real bad. Kanzen was working on something big..something real big." said Ochie. "Oh really, as big as Bangles gigantic ass?" I joked. "Not quite..but, we discovered something a few weeks back, something revolutionary. We have discovered how to travel through time, using..The Device." said Ochie, as I followed him around a giant sphere...then it slowly began to open.
I stepped back as a blue light filled the area. "This sends you back in time?..Really?" I asked in disbelief. "Yes, but it has a problem, a deadly problem!" he said dramatically. "Like what, everyone is lost in time?" I laughed, then as Ochie's expression went to one of sadness, I laughed harder. "Really, really Ochie? You guys built a time machine that just randomly sends bros back in time..really?" I asked. "Well, actually Kanzen built it..it's why I called it The Device..since it's real name is "World Destroyer" which is...depressing." said Ochie. "So, where are they lost? How am I going to get them? How do I get back?..What the fuck dude?" I asked, throwing up the hood on my limited edition Hannah Montana hoddie. "We'll, I think I've corrected the problem Honda...We sent them through two at a time, and this should send you back to the time and place we sent the last team, and then jump you to the time and place the team before that was sent...and so on." said Ochie. "You have no fucking clue do you?" I asked. "Most of what I used to figure this out came from an episode of Stargate Atlantis." said Ochie. "Brilliant...it's up to me, again..as always." I said, stepping up to The Device.
"Take this." said Ochie, as he threw me pack full of supplies. "Hit it, Ochdawg" I said while sliding on my trademark Hannah Montana sunglasses. "One problem Honda..you umm, you have to be nude or you end up inside out." said Ochie with a look of concern. "The last crew to go through were Bangles and Lindros...we can't be sure, but we think we might have sent them to medieval England..so you kinda, have to hurry Honda." Ochie said, waiting to hit the simple "Go" button on the control panel. I slowly took my clothes off and piled them neatly beside me, as I slid off my boxers...Wortel and Diz were now slowly rubbing each others nipples. "Just fucking hit it Ochie." I yelled. Ochie slammed his hand down on the button, and the sphere violently closed. It started to fill with lights, shooting from side to side, bouncing around the internal mirrored surface but coming from seemingly nowhere, beam after beam until the entire sphere was a flooded in blue light. I started to hear cracks that sounded like lightning and I lost my balance and fell to a knee, suddenly, I was surrounded by nothing but open field.
(Note: Like this, only sexier)
Things started to really fuck with my head in those few seconds, mostly things like..what if they sent me to basically anywhere in the world that has a language I don't speak, or you know..back in the day when people raped bros like me. I hear a women screaming in the distance, then remember I'm still nude. "Listen miss, I'm sure you're impressed and everything, but please stop screaming." I yelled as I start throwing on clothes like a bro after he had been caught by his friends fucking a chubby. I looked her up and down while trying to dress, she had her hair in a bun and was wearing a long dress and carrying a basket.
The woman turned and I finished dressing and threw my pack on. I walked over to her, the young girl still trying to cover her eyes. I tried to make out the time period based on her appearance. "This has got to be 1800s Europe." I thought. "Sorry about the nudity, it's a long story. This may sound strange and all that, but...what YEAR is it?" I asked. She looked at me puzzled for a few minutes "What?..It's 1998" she said still trying to stare at my dong through my pants.
"Did you see two guys come through here, dressed like me. They were likely very, very awesome." I asked. She explained I was on a farm just outside of Ohio and that something similar had happened a few days prior, two young men showed up disoriented and confused and that her parents let them spend the night, but threw them out shortly after they "had gone straight Eiffel Tower on her ass". (Threesome for you virgins out there...Chosen)
We had strict instructions not to change the past, and not to effect the time line in any way, or the results could be catastrophic, so I naturally assumed Bangles and Lindros were out stopping 9/11 and rigging sporting events. I asked the chick if she had any idea where they could be headed, but handed me a note addressed to me, which was strange. I tried to think of anything interesting that happened in 1998, but came up with nothing.
"Didn't windows 98 come out recently?..and Clinton got a BJ and all that?" I asked. "Yeah, the Clinton scandal is shocking, but..what's windows?" she asked. "Computer..windows operating system, Windows 98." she just looked at me weird until I walked away while opening the letter.
Quote:
"Dear Honda.
As you're aware, we cannot get back to our year and are stuck here in 1998. It sucks ass. We used a computer at that farm chicks house, one, Microsoft no longer exists, two..using dial up was fucking brutal, imagine living in this barbaric time, with dial up...lol@u.
Also, we're headed to my place (Lindros) so I can convince a younger me not to break up with some chick, so yeah..we're assuming it's you because there isn't anyone else left, we don't have some crazy time traveler insight or anything. Bangles told me to tell you were going to find your past self and murder you for lulz..we probably won't though, I don't know if we have.....the time.
lol, I'm awesome. Anyway, call my place and talk to me to see if I've been there yet.
Yours in Christ,
Lindros.
So, since I'm basically bored and dog sitting..I'm going to continue this story whenever I get bored. Despite how many TL;DRs and one star ratings I get..if you don't like it we have porn, so whateves. lol
..and, while your waiting for that, check out these similar, yet very different stories:
http://whatboyswant.com/forum_read/4620461/1/10/Last_Weekend_The_WBWCREW_Had_Our_Annual_Meeting.html
http://whatboyswant.com/forum_read/4879749/1/10/Last_Weekend_The_WBWCREW_Had_Our_Annual_Meeting_Vol2.html
