Sugarpie's Super Sexy Stories

Ok...so I'm a moron.

Have you ever had one of those moments when an idea pops into your head and even if for just a moment, you believe that you have just given birth to a brand new idea? That you have thought of something that has never been thought of before...that you created something magical and fresh . I had one of those moments the other day, followed very quickly by one of those moments where you realize you are a moron.

I was reading about how Netflix has raised its rates for its DVD delivery service...which then got me thinking about what other items would be nice to have mailed to your house on a regular basis. Essential items where the first on my list (you know, sustenance), followed by bags of money (whatevs...in my head anything is realistic), and I also had a fleeting moment where I thought it would be neat if there was some way to have puppies delivered to my house weekly (and then swapped out for a new one the following week).

But my truly BRILLIANT idea was books...thats right, BOOKS, or more specifically a netflix for books!

I had to share my amazing idea, so I asked my mother, to run my idea by her - her response?

"Its called a library..."

Touche mother...touche indeed.

I had an idea when I was very, very young..about 7.

Buy pornographic magazines, and then have a delivery service, using discrete packaging. Since usually buying porn off the shelf is embarrassing. My brother thought the idea to be "not bad"..and I always stuck by it as a reasonably good idea for something to do when older.

Then the internet came around and fucked everything up for everyone.

sex to me is when bare skin touch's bare skin (lip's to my Vagina) etc. Most Vagina's are very beautiful to me but I will admit there are some that are not

Quote:

Originally posted by Sugarpie

The moaning...the incessant moaning. Make it stop.

It's been two days now. Still moaning ?

Yeah, needs more super sexy stories..or just, stories in general.

The Beautiful People


The other day my friend and I got into a conversation about picking-up and hitting-on girls...

friend: "Pick up lines are bullshit...you aren't really saying anything meaningful. I just walk up to a woman and tell her she's beautiful."
me: "But telling her she's beautiful is arguably just as full of shit as saying 'have you sprayed your pants with windex...because I can see myself in them.' it just doesn't pack as zany or crass a punch...and sometimes crass is key."
friend: "I know you wouldn't seriously use a pick-up line on a girl."
me: "True...but I must admit, I have used them in an ironic fashion once or twice."
friend: "Why do I feel like you've done that to me while I was drunk?"
me: "Because I have."
friend: "Bitch. Well then how do you approach a girl if you think pick-up lines are trite and calling her beautiful is bullshit?"
me: "I tell her something real....."
friend: "That's almost poetic of you-"
me: ".....via text. Girls make me nervous in real life."
friend: "Ahh, there's that SP charm!!"

Quote:

Originally posted by Sugarpie

Much like a fortune cookie, vagina's hide life lessons deep inside.

Ha, truer words were never spoken! SP you are wise beyond your years.

But you're too pretty to be gay


I will be the first to toss myself under the bus and admit it's hypocritical...but generally speaking, all straight clubs make me feel weird. I go to bat for gay clubs all the time, assuring those who haven't been that it's worth a trip, you will have a blast...don't shun the unfamiliar.

I suppose i'm being hard on the clubs...it isn't their fault...it's the guys that frequent such places whom leave me questioning why I even left the house in the first place. Last week my friends and I started the evening at a popular gay club in my home town. As recent as a couple years ago, thursday night was a bubbling brook of activity. You ran into countless familiar ladies and gays, the drinks were cheap, and for the most part...you knew what sort of crowd to expect week after week.

After our IDs were checked and our bracelets were fastened we walked into a ghost-town of a club. One or two committed dancers shook their bodies violently and waved their arms to no particular beat. Other than that, no one was there. We attempted to see it though, hoping...wishing...praying that we were just a little early and things would pick up.

Things did not pick up.

The night was still relatively young so we went to the straight club where a friend is a promotions girl. Things started out fine. We grabbed a few drinks and began to float around the crowd. In my skinny jeans and chucks...I felt my sexual orientation was apparent outright, and if there was any confusion, I was standing in a group of 4 or 5 lesbians, so that should confirm everything, right?

wrong.
wrong.
wrong.

i'm not sure if it's because we exude a energy that genuinely wants to have a good time, or because drunk guys are persistent about pussy but whatever the reasoning, we were swimming in hetero fellas looking for fun.

I think it's presumptuous to shout within the first few moments of meeting someone about my sexuality. To me it implies that i have reason to tell them and if that's the first thing I say to someone at a bar, in my mind it's the equivalent to saying, "I feel the need to tell you this information because i assume you want to sleep with me."
After the second time I neglected to give out my number and after the third time my friends declined to slow dance, I did it. I dumped a giant can of worms onto the bar, "we are gay." this, of course, prompted the typical responses- "i'm a lesbian too, I love women"; "wait...like ALL THE WAY gay? like...100% no dudes?"; "well, whenever you want some real dick...I'm right here"; and the always charming, "shut the fuck up. You're lying".

Just as in the halls of high school, the information quickly zipped back and forth across the bar. A man I had spoken with earlier in the evening approached me visibly upset, "you think just because you are pretty you can do what you want? I was nice to you...why did you have to lie?!" before I had a chance to sneak a word in he stormed off into the crowd.

I turned to my friend, "what the hell was that about?" she was laughing uncontrollably at this point. After I talked to that man for a while, I had told him I was gay. He told me I was too pretty to be gay and I told him that most lesbians are but guys like him assume them straight. After he walked away he had gone up to my friend to ask if I was actually gay. Hearing this question over and over in one night can be exhausting so she thought it would be funny to spice it up and play dumb. "who? SP? omg, she's gay? did she say that? haha wow, that's news to me."

Bitch.

Aside from words, there was no way or reason to prove our gayness to these people.
We have no gay card.
We have no passport to love pussy.
We carry with us no scars or tattoo that indicates our sexuality.
We are all just people...so why get so hostile because one or two girls in a bar of hundreds don't want to sleep with you?

One guy went so far as to ask me what the hell we were even doing there if we weren't "down with dick", as he so eloquently put. In a glance I asked him if he was serious...he stared right back at me- "you all are just a tease."

Will I be returning to a straight club anytime soon? I'm not going to limit myself and rule it out completely...but next time: flannel, birkenstocks, and rainbows will be a must in my hetero club fashions...and if that doesn't work I'll settle for drinking alone.

Large groups of people + confined area + alcohol = Potential problems for anyone

This story is just too rich !

( And gosh ! It all seems so familiar.)

Thanks SP !

You're too gay to be pretty!

Quote:

Originally posted by Sugarpie

But you're too pretty to be gay


I will be the first to toss myself under the bus and admit it's hypocritical...but generally speaking, all straight clubs make me feel weird. I go to bat for gay clubs all the time, assuring those who haven't been that it's worth a trip, you will have a blast...don't shun the unfamiliar.

I suppose i'm being hard on the clubs...it isn't their fault...it's the guys that frequent such places whom leave me questioning why I even left the house in the first place. Last week my friends and I started the evening at a popular gay club in my home town. As recent as a couple years ago, thursday night was a bubbling brook of activity. You ran into countless familiar ladies and gays, the drinks were cheap, and for the most part...you knew what sort of crowd to expect week after week.

After our IDs were checked and our bracelets were fastened we walked into a ghost-town of a club. One or two committed dancers shook their bodies violently and waved their arms to no particular beat. Other than that, no one was there. We attempted to see it though, hoping...wishing...praying that we were just a little early and things would pick up.

Things did not pick up.

The night was still relatively young so we went to the straight club where a friend is a promotions girl. Things started out fine. We grabbed a few drinks and began to float around the crowd. In my skinny jeans and chucks...I felt my sexual orientation was apparent outright, and if there was any confusion, I was standing in a group of 4 or 5 lesbians, so that should confirm everything, right?

wrong.
wrong.
wrong.

i'm not sure if it's because we exude a energy that genuinely wants to have a good time, or because drunk guys are persistent about pussy but whatever the reasoning, we were swimming in hetero fellas looking for fun.

I think it's presumptuous to shout within the first few moments of meeting someone about my sexuality. To me it implies that i have reason to tell them and if that's the first thing I say to someone at a bar, in my mind it's the equivalent to saying, "I feel the need to tell you this information because i assume you want to sleep with me."
After the second time I neglected to give out my number and after the third time my friends declined to slow dance, I did it. I dumped a giant can of worms onto the bar, "we are gay." this, of course, prompted the typical responses- "i'm a lesbian too, I love women"; "wait...like ALL THE WAY gay? like...100% no dudes?"; "well, whenever you want some real dick...I'm right here"; and the always charming, "shut the fuck up. You're lying".

Just as in the halls of high school, the information quickly zipped back and forth across the bar. A man I had spoken with earlier in the evening approached me visibly upset, "you think just because you are pretty you can do what you want? I was nice to you...why did you have to lie?!" before I had a chance to sneak a word in he stormed off into the crowd.

I turned to my friend, "what the hell was that about?" she was laughing uncontrollably at this point. After I talked to that man for a while, I had told him I was gay. He told me I was too pretty to be gay and I told him that most lesbians are but guys like him assume them straight. After he walked away he had gone up to my friend to ask if I was actually gay. Hearing this question over and over in one night can be exhausting so she thought it would be funny to spice it up and play dumb. "who? SP? omg, she's gay? did she say that? haha wow, that's news to me."

Bitch.

Aside from words, there was no way or reason to prove our gayness to these people.
We have no gay card.
We have no passport to love pussy.
We carry with us no scars or tattoo that indicates our sexuality.
We are all just people...so why get so hostile because one or two girls in a bar of hundreds don't want to sleep with you?

One guy went so far as to ask me what the hell we were even doing there if we weren't "down with dick", as he so eloquently put. In a glance I asked him if he was serious...he stared right back at me- "you all are just a tease."

Will I be returning to a straight club anytime soon? I'm not going to limit myself and rule it out completely...but next time: flannel, birkenstocks, and rainbows will be a must in my hetero club fashions...and if that doesn't work I'll settle for drinking alone.

You guys need to find a nice guy or two to go out with when you go to hetero clubs. Like, a male friend who will act as (1) a possible bf/whatever to keep the random dudes away and (2) a guy to tell the bros to fuck off when they start acting like dicks. Just IMO, anyway.


Also, your story needs more dentures and shit.

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

You're too gay to be pretty!

lol

Sometimes we do have a lesbro to come with us...not this night however.


And yeah...I'm trying to work more dentures and shit into my tales.

There are lesbros?

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

There are lesbros?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lesbro

Yep that's me... I hang out and befirend more gay women then anyone else. And I do believe I know why. Among gay women... 1. we all can check out other women and 2. I don't have to put up a front to them like I do with guys. You know... I'm a man....men don't act that way... etc etc.

PLUS... they can read straight or bi women better then I can.

Hopefully when you get back from your mini-vacation there will be more tales of interest!

Quote:

Originally posted by Honda_X

Hopefully when you get back from your mini-vacation there will be more tales of interest!

Yup, I believe it is time for a new tale re tail.

Yeah...I know, I'm such a slacker. I knew this was gonna be a challenge for me when I started the thread. I'll work on something in the next couple days.

Loving the 'Chronicles of Sugarpie'.

Keep these coming!