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Men's guide to One Night Stands

Starter: SouthPaw Posted: 20 years ago Views: 2.0K
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#1477186
Lvl 21
StretchNutz had a thread just a day ago that prompted me to write this.

While I just got done reading the One Night Stand thread, it prompted me to enlighten the men of the board that I know are married and still wonder from time to time. I will openly admit, I have as well as others that I am sure still do.. I think it's only natural to an extent. Maybe it's a genetic disposition we fall in or something, but men thrive on the chase...

Now allow me to lay down the guidelines for a successful fling wether it be for a mere night only or an on going affair... Not to say this is morally correct or acceptable but it is however a part of life and more often than not more than an average amount of men find themselves in this kind of situation..


Rule # 1: Always be 100% honest with the other person. A fling is not someone you need to or should hide anything from. If you lay it out on the table up front, then there is no misunderstandings... Wether you're envolved, or seperated, divorcing, married, engaged, boyfriend & girlfriend, etc... This is always going to be the most important part of a successful fling..

Rule # 2: Alway's keep your business private. This includes never telling ANYONE other than the other woman envolved. The less amount of dirt that people know the less of a possibility your chances of getting caught become. This will also work to your advantage in the event that you have a snag and end up getting caught. If your significant other finds out about the fling, well it always fall back on the one closest to you that ended up slipping up. For all intense purposes, you must protect your best friends as well as your significant other. This will also help mend the relationship if you sincerely want to reconsile.... Remember she will hate your friends if she know's or knew that they aided you into it. You must plan accordingly. Never envolve a friend or associate to aid you in your business.. This keeps sole responsibility on you and you will be aloud to keep your close friends if it works out..

Rule # 3: Never keep it close to home. Best friends of your significant other ARE OFF LIMITS. No matter how hot she may be or how bad you know she want's a piece of you. It is for you own benefit in the long run... !!! The friends closest to your significant other will generally be drawn towards you, because your woman like's to brag about her sex life whenever she can. This sprouts curiousity within the close circle of friends.. Trust me, it happens more often than you may realize...

Rule # 4: Never leave a paper trail... No matter how many time's guy's & girls hear this they never seem to take it serious.. If there is a paper trail, it will come back on you.. Never use your credit card, simply get cash back on your card if need be. You can justify using the cash to help out a friend or needing something for yourself, but if your statement comes in and you're not there to get the mail and she opens it up and see's that you've spent a few hundred on a hotel room for the afternoon or at an exquizit restaraunt.. well then let's just say you deserve to be caught.... This also applies to any form of hand written letters or notes.. Thats a HUGE NO NO !!!

Rule # 5: Keep it simple.... Be yourself and be very open to your wants and reason's. You tend to attract women that may be looking at the same thing you have in mind if you follow this rule... Most women will appreciate the honesty first and foremost..


Rule # 6: Keep your priorities in order... Remember, she is a fling. Nothing more and nothing else. Just something to fill a sexual void. Don't go running off thinking your in love over a few nights of sexual fun with this new woman. You have someone who you've invested yourself with, always seperate your heart from your stomach so to speak..

Rule # 7: Fullfill your fantasy. Sine you've chosen to stray.. Why not play it out in character and role ? You are taking a huge risk, make sure the risk is worth the reward. Don't go run and put your dick in someone just to knock it down with. Use the opportunity to explore your sexual desire. This will make a much more fullfilling fling..

Rule # 8: Never get to close... If you start to get close then it's time to let go. This is the hardest rule in the game to follow. Especially for the men that are cheating with someone significantly more attractive than their current mate. Remember it's a physical attraction, but she may not fill the needs of your current mate.. Always keep it in perspective... !

Rule # 9: Always use your real first name and always use a fake last name. That way if she calls for you by your name you are more likely to respond then to tip her off that you've lyed about your name. I have done this too many times and blown it because of it...

Rule # 10: This is the final rule in my book. ALWAYS maintain enough of yourself to be able to still fill the needs of your woman at home. The more attention she gets the less likely you are at ever getting caught. Trust me !!! I dont care if you just had sex for 3 hours straight.. When you come home you better be ready for it even if she does not want it. This will help ease her suspission if any. Also never shower before leaving and coming home.. Yes you wash your dick, but you never wash off your body's natural scent. Women always look for this smell when you come home.. You wash yourself in a sink with a warm hand cloth. use light soap. This way your body's natural sweat and smell from your underware will come back by the time you get home. this is a very essential rule to follow. Remember you are now living a double life. you must be able to split yourself into 2 personalities. If you can't do this.. you get caught... plain and simple..... don't pamper a fling. It is merely sex, keep it that way. You pamper your significant other... remember to split your time up evenly and always keep your significant other infront of everything else....



Follow these simple rules and I promise you will never get caught... I may not have a peice of paper crediting me for being a fling expert but let's just say I have travelled alot more than most men my age and I have a pretty succesful track record to date..
* This post has been modified : 19 years ago
#1477187
Lvl 59
Well....that, or you could just stay with the person you vowed you would stay with.
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477188
Lvl 21
Quote:
Originally posted by EricLindros

Well....that, or you could just stay with the person you vowed you would stay with.


I agree completely. But, some people believe that if you're gonna play around, do it smart. I hate to see a good relationship go down the shit tube.
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477189
Lvl 23
Wow, what a strange concept Eric. You mean take their wedding vows seriously? Hmm...interesting.
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477190
You don't want to risk your Mr. Happy meeting Mr. Sharp Knife. Don't cheat on your girl.
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477191
Lvl 59
Quote:
Originally posted by SouthP@w

[reply=EricLindros]
Well....that, or you could just stay with the person you vowed you would stay with.


I agree completely. But, some people believe that if you're gonna play around, do it smart. I hate to see a good relationship go down the shit tube.
[/reply]

I believe my point was, if you're cheating behind her back you don't have a good relationship, and it's already down the shit tube.
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477192
Lvl 59
Just to clarify: I've got nothing against hooking up with hot girls and as many as you can, I just think that if that's your perogative then you should be honest with yourself and your mate and refrain from committing to a marriage in the first place.
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477193
Lvl 18
f*ck that! If you're not getting anything at home, get it somewhere else.
I could go COMPLETELY on a rant here.... but I won't.
I don't have time.
I have to go f*ck your girlfriend while you're out being an asshole.
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477194
Lvl 21
Eric, you're killing me here bro. I see your point. This thread is only to help someone stay out of trouble. What they do in their relationship is their business. Im not a match maker or a love doctor. I can't mend things or make them better. I can merely sit back and watch the shit unfold.

You can't stop a guy or girl from cheating. If their gonna do it, their gonna do it whether or not you say so or try to stop it.
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477195
Lvl 59
Quote:
Originally posted by SouthP@w

Eric, you're killing me here bro. I see your point. This thread is only to help someone stay out of trouble. What they do in their relationship is their business. Im not a match maker or a love doctor. I can't mend things or make them better. I can merely sit back and watch the shit unfold.

You can't stop a guy or girl from cheating. If their gonna do it, their gonna do it whether or not you say so or try to stop it.


You're aiding and abetting. Really, people can and will do what they want. I was just pointing out that you're just polishing a turd by claiming that you're helping anyone with this. And with that, I'll step down off of my soapbox.

Quote:

f*ck that! If you're not getting anything at home, get it somewhere else.
I could go COMPLETELY on a rant here.... but I won't.
I don't have time.
I have to go f*ck your girlfriend while you're out being an asshole.


Very insightful. I cannot for the life of me imagine why such an eloquent gentleman such as yourself would have trouble with your interpersonal relationships.
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477196
Lvl 19
nice rules!!! thanks!
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477197
Lvl 8
I have been in a relationship that started merely as a strange piece of ass.Unfortunately I was foolish enuf to become attatched emotionally as well.Its a very long story that i won't bore you with but lets just say that as time went along there were many twists and turns and I hung on and got even more deeply involved.It came to a point of where I was introduced to the family etc and yes I was still married at the time.
However.............as time goes by for whatever the reason one of you will eventually either feel guilty or maybe even in my case find that the novelty will wear off and you are left out in the cold.
I speak from major league experience.......
If you find someone and it becomes exclusive or marriage......respect that person and stay w/ them.If for whatever the reason you feel that you need to find a playmate......jerk off more often or just close your eyes when you are w/ your girl and dream of whomeever.
As the old saying goes........what a tangled web we weave when at first we practice to decieve.
After a while its inevitable......someone will begin to have feelings.Once that begins you are way in over your head and there is no nice way out.She/He begins to find ways to find you more often...most likely when its not a good time....your phonhe starts to ring at the most inoppurtune times etc etc.
And then you have to start covering your tracks to make reasons for the time you spend away from home and other events.
Eventually the other will start to make larger and larger demands on your time and once that happens its way too late.
Since I have been down this road I have learned more about myself and life than I ever knew before.What I have done to myself is something I will pay for for the rest of my life.
Hell.........I became such a close part of her family that I even tucked her daughter in bed on ocassion.......and yes...........he was home each time and never said anything.
Sher and I are fading into one anothers past slowly but surely and yes...its difficult.Just as w/ any relationship there are times when I think of her when I hear a song or pass by a place that we have been before and then there are the times when I will just have her face wash through my minds eye and I still smile because back when it was all good it was the very best.
I would never take any of it back but I will say that there are the times when i would take it all back in a moment.
Am I proud of it all???No!!But its one of those things that I have learned from.
As a matter of fact there have been a couple of other women I have known over the years that tried to start something w/ me but seeing that I had been down that road before and saw the sadness that it leads to I have found ways to deter thier hopes.One of them I had to be absolutely pint blank.yes,she cried but I explained that it was for the best.
You guys can do whatever you please....its your life.I can speak for myself and say that I will not go down that road ever again w/ a woman who is married or otherwise spoken for in any way at all.
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477198
Lvl 8
Anybody else have a similar situation?
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477199
No, when I got up and said in front of God, family and friends, that I would forsake all others, I meant it. If your gonna get married don't fool around. If you can't keep that commitment, don't make it. Cheaters give the rest of us the bad rep guys in general have. Have I ever been tempted? Yes, on several occasians I could of made it with a couple hot women but I said no and kept myself out of risky situations. I made a promise to my wife and I have kept it faithfully for 13 years ( 14 in dec. ). If you don't think you can control your dick, don't get married.
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477200
Quote:
Originally posted by Dagnabbit

No, when I got up and said in front of God, family and friends, that I would forsake all others, I meant it. If your gonna get married don't fool around. If you can't keep that commitment, don't make it. Cheaters give the rest of us the bad rep guys in general have. Have I ever been tempted? Yes, on several occasians I could of made it with a couple hot women but I said no and kept myself out of risky situations. I made a promise to my wife and I have kept it faithfully for 13 years ( 14 in dec. ). If you don't think you can control your dick, don't get married.



* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477201
Lvl 8
I think you should follow Rule #1 with you wife or husband.... If it is not working out and you need to stray- Be honest and let them decide how to handle the situation. You have to think how YOU would feel if you came home and found your wife giving up the good stuff to someone else....
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477202
Lvl 10
Quote:
Originally posted by EricLindros

[reply=SouthP@w]
[reply=EricLindros]
Well....that, or you could just stay with the person you vowed you would stay with.


I agree completely. But, some people believe that if you're gonna play around, do it smart. I hate to see a good relationship go down the shit tube.
[/reply]

I believe my point was, if you're cheating behind her back you don't have a good relationship, and it's already down the shit tube.
[/reply]


well if your relationship with your wife is down the shit tube then divorce the cunt
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477203
Quote:
Originally posted by nappyz

[reply=EricLindros]
[reply=SouthP@w]
[reply=EricLindros]
Well....that, or you could just stay with the person you vowed you would stay with.


I agree completely. But, some people believe that if you're gonna play around, do it smart. I hate to see a good relationship go down the shit tube.
[/reply]

I believe my point was, if you're cheating behind her back you don't have a good relationship, and it's already down the shit tube.
[/reply]


well if your relationship with your wife is down the shit tube then divorce the cunt
[/reply]


Now there is no need for that, Captain Grammar.
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477204
Lvl 6
If one is thinking about cheating...they need to ask themselves "How would i feel if my sig. other was to cheat on me?"
I am a recovering alcholic and God knows Ive done a ton of cheating of past gf's. Ive slept with many women who have had bf's and two who were married. Since I have been sober (3 years) ive had 3 one night stands, but i made sure the girls were single and that everything was in the open and truthful. I now have a gf that i love. We recently aired our dirty laundry to eachother. It turns our that she has sex with a mid 30 y/o that she worked with that was seperated from his wife (my gf is 21 and im 28). She also has sex with a guy that had a gf. This cought me very off guard. For the past year i always pictured her as one who would not choose to be the other woman. I didnt realize how much it would bother me, and now i wish that i hadnt got those girls drunk and talked them into cheating.
We all have a past, and there are cerainly some things i would like to erase. But i cant. So the best thing i can do is to not act on every temptaion that comes along. Think through it.
If youre thinking about cheating...you might want to take a look at your relationship first. The is something very wrong with it or with you.
After all...how would you feel is she was fucking a guy behind your back??????
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
#1477205
Lvl 23
Quote:
Originally posted by Dagnabbit

No, when I got up and said in front of God, family and friends, that I would forsake all others, I meant it. If your gonna get married don't fool around. If you can't keep that commitment, don't make it. Cheaters give the rest of us the bad rep guys in general have. Have I ever been tempted? Yes, on several occasians I could of made it with a couple hot women but I said no and kept myself out of risky situations. I made a promise to my wife and I have kept it faithfully for 13 years ( 14 in dec. ). If you don't think you can control your dick, don't get married.
Dagnabbit, you said that so well mate.
I think, if a lot of us were to seriously think about what those vows.
What they really mean?!.
You are ecpected to live up to it!
Half of us would be searching for the nearest...

Exit!
* This post has been modified : 20 years ago
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